u/Head-Staff-8189

I'm here wondering if you caught all the sudden calls to you. The music that mentions you without mentioning your name in physical form. Do you know that most of what I write finds at least a smidge of you between the lines. Do you know how often I think of you? No ..because we are not the same. I thought we were once upon a time...but we are very different .. I give way too much, and you...way too little. I don't mind the silence but I do mind the ignoring phases

Leaving me in read hurts my feelings especially after I see you on social media. I've noticed many changes in you...like the constant use of a social platform. You were never active before. I notice the changes in attitude towards me ..the I love you turned into take cares. I get it. It was all me...I did it .lock me up right? I have the burden of proof just the same as you. But somehow I still love you. Probably more than ever before ..when I start feeling down and think that you don't care at all ..there you are. So I sit here and I think of the night you came outside and sat beside me. I could feel the heat, the tension, I wanted so badly to tell you right then that I loved you ..but I knew it couldn't be...so when you leave me in silence I write ..songs... poems...anything. You've made it on to every album I've done...but did you know?

Is it the flow? The pull towards the center? Is it the way you hide away? I think the most stunning picture one could ever create is the one they created of themselves..you take the most mundane and make it seem lighter ..and I know you think I can't see the beautiful array of colors you possess in your arsenal of utensils...but I do.

I often wonder if you know that I see your broken bits. The little parts you try and keep to yourself. The shadows you see at night, the silence. I see the depth of dissolution and the chaos you live within.

And still I'd be there ..the broken pieces make you lovable...more reachable...they don't scare me..in fact I hold them closer to me than you do

You are still trying to find your way. I understand that. I'm lost too. But sometimes maybe we can get lost together? Share in the madness ..the distaste the chaos brings. You said the beach was calming....and then you referenced the chaos of your world. Did they intertwine? Or have you lost your way.

If happiness were a word it would be your name...plain and simple...want to be happy with me?

I'm happy to just be ..just a part of your life. In whatever capacity you so need and/or want. Just to be in your presence is enough for me .all I ever wanted was your time and effort.

I understand that it is hard for you to be open but here I am...please be kind to me

First there's me then there's you

18 lines in...there's and addition

9 more and there's no I in team

Two subtle crosses that hold the first half to the second

Back to me ..this time there's no you

Another 18 lines in and we are right back where we started

And there's the end ..in the end and the middle of the last segment.

All of it together...adds up ..conclusive thoughts...an entity appears...gleaming .glowing. full of life and grace. Even the bad days seems genuine and real. The pain allows for growth..and during that time a overwhelming amount of silence.

Me and you...

Left here wondering...do you see me? I mean really see me? Do you see the insecurities...the absurdity in it all? Do you scare easily? I often wondered if you'd run if I was to tell you my story...would you fold..or stand tall?

I'll never know cause at this point you and I have reached another platform...a subtle understand. You are there and I am here. And that is to be the way it is. Make no mistake...I still feel, I still long ...but I know my place.

It shall forever be this way.. caught somewhere between seen and heard. Playing with words like they are toys instead of bullets.

I'm being told to move forward

Go ahead take the step...ask her

But I know the outcome

So I decide to stay hidden

You know me ..you know me well

Or do you really?

These secrets you too keep?

Should I wake you?

I promise to be good to you ..

Are you to good to be true?

You said words were messages

Sent in pretty little packages

Memes, songs,poems

The last one was forever ago

I wish I had sunk my teeth in

Deep within the flesh over bone

Taken a bite, branded it with my name

Should I have?

Trying to be right and good

Has gotten me nowhere at all

Where has it gotten you?

There's a need inside of me...that only you can feel

Your my idea of drugs

The thought of you is pure magic to my system

And yet I find myself lost...wondering about yours

There's a lot going on...here there and everywhere else

I know

I guess I'll see you in the end

Or somewhere around ...

Album number 4 Track number 3

If you can see me ...I love you

Never will be anyone who can take your place in my heart.

You are worthy...

I'll sit here right where you left me..waiting for you

You know where I am.

I like to think of us as star crossed lovers...lost, trapped in time. Finding each other in every life until the timing is right.

Maybe this isn't it....but what if it is?

If you are here ..This Is Me ..It Was You

Thelma and Louise Fonda and Tomlin...

Yes I loved you

Yes I fell in love with you

Yes I fell out of love

Yes I still love you

Yes I'll always be here

Yes I'll always be there

Perhaps it's time I'm honest

I'll never stop loving you

And I'll never apologize

You made me want to love you

And even though you push me away

I still love you...and always will