AITAH for being done with this?
Hey Reddit, I'm not really sure what to do in this situation. I (22F) have been no contact with my parents since about December, and I'm feeling really conflicted about where to go from here. For some context, I sent my parents a letter detailing some things from my childhood that I was struggling to understand and process. I made it very clear that I didn't think they were bad people and that I wasn't trying to attack them (I wanted to build a healthier relationship with them). At the same time, I felt that there were things that happened growing up that were hurtful and needed to be acknowledged if we were going to move forward.
Some of the things I wrote about included my mom packing a bag and telling me she was sending me away to my grandparents when I got in trouble, my dad's constant yelling and hitting that left me afraid of him, being kicked out of the car and left for hours when I was 5, being called a "pig" and talk down to about my weight and eating habits, being spanked until bruised, being spanked until i finished my food (I struggled to eat certain meats my mom cooked at points), having to strip anything from the waist down before being spanked, etc. I do want to note that if I was bruised or spanked for not finishing my food. It wasn't every night so they didn't do that every day.
After I sent my letter, highlighting these things, my dad responded to my letter through email and told me, "Much of what you've said feels like bad therapy, ruminating on wrongs, focusing on building boundaries instead of relationships. It's easy to believe the worst of someone when you never deal with the real person, just the caricature you've built of them in your mind." That response honestly hurt. I had gone out of my way in the letter to explain that I wasn't assuming the worst of them and that I still wanted a relationship. I was trying to have an honest conversation about things that had happened. My mom also called me yelling and telling me that I didn't understand her position and how much I had hurt her. After that conversation, I decided I needed space. I told both of my parents multiple times that this was not permanent and that I was not cutting them out of my life forever. I simply needed time without texts, calls, emails, or messages, and that I would reach out when I was ready. Over the last three months, they have continued sending occasional messages. They told me I could come pick up Christmas gifts, invited me to family dinners and holidays, and generally kept reaching out despite me asking for space. Recently, my mom left me a voicemail saying she knew I had asked for space, but that it was difficult for her because she didn't know how long that space would last. I can sympathize with that, but I had repeatedly told them that this wasn't permanent. She then said that if she didn't hear back from me, she would assume I never wanted to speak to them again and they would stop contacting me. She also mentioned sending me a birthday card. The card had a sheep standing under a rain cloud with a message about brighter days ahead, which felt a little odd but wasn't necessarily a big deal. Then today, she added me to a group chat with my siblings and sent her old wedding photos celebrating my parents' anniversary, saying she "hoped we hadn't forgotten". At this point, I'm confused. Part of me feels guilty because I know this situation is painful for them too. Another part of me feels frustrated because I was very clear that I needed space, and it doesn't feel like that request has been respected. I don't know if I'm overreacting, if I should respond, or if I should continue taking the space I've been asking for.
WIBTA if I just completely cut contact? What do I do? Does it get better?