u/HealingTruth123

Hi all - have an upcoming move to Bentonville for work and excited to explore the area. My offices will be in the square and am looking for an apartment or living situation nearby - within walking distance.

Have come across three that have caught my interest:

The Howard
Brick Avenue Lofts
Town Branch

Would love to hear thoughts from a local perspective. Any complexes that I’m missing that I should check out?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

Start by saying that my partner treats me better than I’ve ever been treated. We met shortly after I left an abusive marriage and he provided the emotional and physical safety that I was craving. We’ve been together for 6 years and we both met as small business owners, he had a successful wine bar of 20+ years and I had a bridal shop. One year in, during Covid, business had hit a slump for him as many in food and beverage had and he made the decision to sell the bar to his business partner for a very small amount, but he was so burnt out, he was happy to get out with anything at all.

I was thankful that he was putting his mental health first and was confident in his ability to get back on his feet. 6 months pass and he was still at home, living off of the sale proceeds, then 1 year, then 2.

The proceeds ran out and he took on a 2 month job in another state which provided a small income. Flash forward a few months later (about 3 years into our relationship) and he was completely out of funds and I began supporting him full time.

We moved across the country for a job opportunity for myself and he was excited to reinvent himself in a place where no one knew him. He found a regional sales job in the new state and started contributing after a couple of months of income and then he got let go - we had just bought a house in the new state and all financial responsibilities fell back on my plate. My salary provides enough to cover our basic needs, but it’s very tight and I’m very stressed to be the sole provider.

We’ve had quite a few conversations about this and he is always very receptive and apologetic. Typically after these conversations, he’ll get a temporary boost and take a small action (getting a part time job has been the latest 9 months ago) but then things go back to the way they were.

I know his ego is shot coming from owning his own business to now having to discover who he is, and I’m really trying to be supportive but I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one who’s thinking about our financial future and with the age gap it just hit me that I’m with a man who’s almost 50 with no job, no savings, no retirement, and I’m struggling with the thought of it all.

I came from a DINK relationship where financial needs were not an issue but emotional & mental needs were and now it feels I’m in the opposite. I know no one can answer this except myself as far as what to do about the relationship, but as a third party perspective, I’m wondering if I am enabling?

Men, can you help me with some perspective on this?