u/Healthy-Ad8483

Hello dear community,

My avoidant girlfriend broke up with me, and this is the question I keep asking myself.

Do these people actually realize how much pain and suffering they cause? Every time they block you, ignore you, leave you, or keep ignoring you during and after the relationship. Every argument followed by silence. No reaction at all. Every single time, it feels like being thrown away. Each time, it felt like a piece of my heart was ripped out.

Anxiety, confusion, insecurity, panic, helplessness, pain, grief, the feeling of being worthless, the feeling of not mattering. Every 1-2 weeks.

I had my own problems, but I wanted to change. I went to therapy, and now I’m going to therapy again and paying for it myself. It costs an unbelievable amount of money. No support from her. I hurt her, but she hurt me too. I wanted to change, and I still will but without her.

I tried so many times to talk to her. “Tell me if something is bothering you. Take some space if you need it, but don’t leave.” But she always ran away, abandoned me, and gave up. Never once did she apologize. Never once did she acknowledge how much she hurt me. Not even in three years were we able to truly talk openly. To this day, I still don’t know what she really felt or thought. All she could do was smile beautifully.

I would never have abandoned her. I would have supported her through everything. I forgave her for everything. I loved her more than words can describe. I wanted a future with her.

I wish she would understand me and stand by my side.

And now I’m standing here alone again. Abandoned and ignored after an heavier argument, after one of her meltdowns. She wants the breakup and distance. She completely ignores me.

This indifference, this silence, this feeling of being worthless to someone you love… Did she ever love me at all? Did I ever matter to her? It hurts unbelievably deeply, and she either doesn’t understand it or she simply doesn’t care.

It hurts.

Hello dear community,

Do these people actually realize how much pain and suffering they cause? Every time they block you, ignore you, leave you, or keep ignoring you during and after the relationship. Every argument followed by silence. No reaction at all. Every single time, it feels like being thrown away. Each time, it felt like a piece of my heart was ripped out.

Anxiety, confusion, insecurity, panic, helplessness, pain, grief, the feeling of being worthless, the feeling of not mattering. Every 1-2 weeks.

I had my own problems, but I wanted to change. I went to therapy, and now I’m going to therapy again and paying for it myself. It costs an unbelievable amount of money. No support from her. I hurt her, but she hurt me too. I wanted to change, and I still will but without her.

I tried so many times to talk to her. “Tell me if something is bothering you. Take some space if you need it, but don’t leave.” But she always ran away, abandoned me, and gave up. Never once did she apologize. Never once did she acknowledge how much she hurt me. Not even in three years were we able to truly talk openly. To this day, I still don’t know what she really felt or thought. All she could do was smile beautifully.

I would never have abandoned her. I would have supported her through everything. I forgave her for everything. I loved her more than words can describe. I wanted a future with her.

And now I’m standing here alone again. Abandoned and ignored after an heavier argument, after one of her meltdowns. She wants the breakup and distance. She completely ignores me.

I wish she would understand me and stand by my side.

This indifference, this silence, this feeling of being worthless to someone you love… Did she ever love me at all? Did I ever matter to her? It hurts unbelievably deeply, and she either doesn’t understand it or she simply doesn’t care.

It hurts.