Relationship advice: dream life, but not dream man.
To preface this is my first post ever so apologies if it isn’t written well. All advice / experiences are welcome.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now (23F 26M). Many of our friends and family consider us the “poster” couple. We met in college, and since graduation, have found success at a young age by accident. We own multiple rental properties and a business together, and just recently purchased a home on a sizeable amount of land. I have the life I have always dreamed of. My dream home, beginning to make amazing friends locally, and the businesses are taking off.
But i’m beginning to feel he is not my dream man.
Things truly were amazing to begin. Hindsight I believe he was lovebombing me, but i loved the attention and affection. Who wouldn’t? In college, our relationship was amazing and full of life. Post grad, and when “real life” began to set in, things shifted. From what started as two individuals deeply in love has become two individuals who go weeks without a moment of quality time. He began to become motivated. Now before anyone attacks me, I am not saying the motivation is bad. We both are highly ambitious individuals who thrive when given a challenge. However, this motivation seems to come with major personality changes. Lying about other women (both online and in person), constant rudeness and verbal disrespect, and just a plain lack of interest in the relationship have left me feeling utterly emotionally alone and neglected. I have brought this up countless times, to which nothing changes. I have attempted to discuss, rekindle, try harder and carry the weight of all the date planning and quality time, but it always falls on deaf ears.
The biggest difference here is that I am not a stay at home girlfriend with a provider. I work on average 60 hour weeks, on top of school, and taking care of all home responsibilities (cooking, cleaning, laundry). He does not assist in any at-home tasks. This has caused me to just be, beat down.
I am so alone.
I truly thought I had found my forever within this man. Therefore, I am now painfully aware I did not protect my assets nor myself financially as much as I should have. All properties, businesses, my vehicle, and the home are in his name, although I have put all of my earnings into these assets. We are not married, and no paperwork or loans are directly in my name, therefore I have no claim to anything.
If I decide to leave, I lose everything.
The life that I have always dreamt for myself, my friends, my home, my businesses, gone in a blink of an eye.
I guess all of this to say: I need advice. Is there any hope for change, or will they only worsen with time? Is what i’m feeling adulting growing pains, and simply part of adulthood?
Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks for reading if you made it this far.