u/Heavy-Succotash4281

Its been a year after marriage but I still have no desire to change my last name.

Before we got married we discussed it and I casually laughed it off that I would like to keep my maiden name.

Its now been a year I haven't done it and now im more turned off of the idea even more! His family is lovely but I am not a \[insert husband last name\]. My i feel my name is appart of who I am. When I seen it written on emails or paper invites im litterly like who's that and I make sometimes involuntary throw up noises. I think it would genuinely upset me to see a different name from who I am who I think of myself to be on legal documents as my passport. I generally disassociate from the name.. its not me.

I want to be completely honest with you & myself and say I have a very common Christian first name. Like Emma, Hannah or Rosie. However his surname gives away where hes from. ( for context we are the same race) however I like that my name doesn't carry any racial bias for simple things like reservations down to bigger things such as Job or housing applications.

I cant say for certain but perhaps if he had a more neutral surname I wouldn't feel so strongly.

How can I explain this to my husband without upsetting him. He is so traditional and gets upset when I make reservations using my maiden name.

I'm a 33-year-old radiographer, and I've been toying with the idea of going to medical school for years. Every time I seriously consider it, I end up talking myself out of it.

My concerns are probably the same ones many people have: finances, the length of training, and whether the sacrifice is worth it. I'm also dyslexic and have never considered myself particularly academic, so part of me worries that I'm not cut out for it.

What makes the decision even harder is that I currently earn a good salary. If I went to medical school, I'd likely be earning significantly less (or nothing) for at least the next 5+ years. I also haven't started a family yet, and I worry that pursuing medicine now would make that much more challenging.

For those who started medical school later in life, especially if you came from an allied health background, was it worth it? Has anyone here had a similar journey and found success despite concerns about age, finances, learning difficulties, or work-life balance?

For context, I'm not a U.S. citizen, I would need to self-fund my education, and I would likely need to continue working part-time throughout medical school to support myself. I'm also interested in hearing about affordable medical schools or programs that are known to be more flexible for students who need to work while studying.

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences, advice, or even the realities you wish someone had told you before making the leap.

I (32F) have been with my husband (42M) for several years and we've been married for 1 year.

We have always talked about wanting children, but we both agreed that we wanted to wait until we were financially stable before starting a family.

Currently, I am the sole breadwinner in our household. My african husband is self-employed and has been working hard to grow his business, but it hasn't been bringing in a stable income. For the past two years, I've covered our rent, utilities, groceries, holidays, and most other shared expenses. I've also helped support his business financially when needed because I love him and want to see him succeed.

Recently, my husband told me he wants us to start trying for children now. I told him I'm not comfortable doing that yet and would prefer for him to have a stable source of income first, whether that's through his business becoming profitable or by getting a job while continuing to work on the business.

This upset him. He says plenty of people have children without being financially secure and still make it work. I understand that point of view, but I already feel a lot of responsibility being the only person financially supporting our household. I'm worried about adding the financial responsibility of raising a child when we don't currently have a second reliable income to fall back on.

My husband feels I'm being unfair by asking him to get a stable job before we start trying for kids. I feel I'm being practical and trying to make sure we're in the best position possible before bringing a child into the world.

What would you do?