u/Heavy_Improvement937

Please take me seriously this is a genuine question. This is for anyone to answer. I’m asking about women because I’m female, but I’m equally as confused about men and other genders. I’m a woman (I guess) but when I was younger I was taught you’re born a woman or a man, but in recent years there’s been a lot more trans representation and stuff and to be honest I don’t really understand it.

For context, I was born female so I always identified as a woman. I never really cared until I got a trans friend and he kind of explained different genders to me which made me question myself. I don’t feel like a woman so I thought I was non binary or gender fluid? But then I realised that this literally doesn’t matter (to me) and I should just stay a woman for simplicity. Also, I’m autistic, which may affect my understanding.

I completely understand wanting to change your appearance because that can make anyone feel more comfortable, trans or not. But what I don’t understand is why change your gender or pronouns. I think that she sounds better but if I were a guy I don’t think I would go as far as to change them, I’d probably just be fem. I don’t know why it makes a difference what gender you are when anyone can present however they want, and doesn’t changing your gender affirm the idea that people who are one gender are a certain way?

I also don’t really understand how you know that you’re supposed to be a woman. Like is it spiritual? Is it a feeling? Is it a way of life? I don’t feel connected to any gender so I guess I would be considered non binary or gender apathetic, but I really don’t care for labels as I feel like it complicates things. How would you know what being a woman feels like and what does it feel like?

Last thing, I don’t understand why being transgender is accepted but other things are not. I’m not saying it shouldn’t be but if someone wanted to change their race or hair texture or skin color it’s looked down upon, so how is being transgender different? To me as a black woman I hate when people bleach their skin or get relaxers out of self hatred and I believe in self acceptance. Thank you for reading I hope this wasn’t offensive.

TLDR: What is a woman? Why be trans instead of just crossdressing? How does it affect you if I use the wrong pronouns?

Hi guys this is small but today I was able to shower, brush my teeth, AND wash my face. These are all things I usually struggle with and I have to pick one. Today I was able to think, it’s a new week, it’s Sunday, let’s do it. I rewarded myself with a bag of my favourite chips.