u/Heavy_Rest205

I’m an introvert studying at Shaheed Bhagat Singh College (SBSC), Delhi University, and honestly, I’m tired of having to explain something that should be basic common sense.

I’m not someone who talks to everyone. During my first semester, I basically avoided everyone. In my second semester, I finally started opening up a little and made two close friends, one male and one female. That is basically my entire social circle.

My college life is literally: go to college > sit with my friends during breaks > attend classes > go home. That's it.

The guy I'm talking about is a friend of my male close friend, and we're all classmates. For a while now, whenever I'm around my male friend, this guy makes these “hichkich” noises, teasing sounds, gestures and comments. This particular guy has also repeatedly taken pictures of me and sent them directly to my male friend, followed by comments and gestures implying something about me and my friend.

I've also helped this guy with college work before. I'm someone who helps people generally, and I've helped him with things like rescheduling his presentation/submission around deadlines and other college-related stuff. I've never insulted him. I've never embarrassed him. I've never picked a fight with him.

So there was never some personal conflict between us. I ignored his behavior for a long time.

Something similar have happened with me in my school life and at that time I ignored it and kept quiet thinking people will get exhausted and forget it.

Well they didn't.

It became much bigger problem and I promised myself I would never let myself get pushed into that situation again.

So today I confronted him. And I was polite. I told him: “You're making me uncomfortable. Stop.”

I even explained what my actual problem was. If you want to make your stupid “hichkich” noises or whatever gestures you want around my male friend when I'm not there, that's your business. But when I'm standing there and I've told you that it makes me uncomfortable, stop doing it around me.

even said, sarcastically, that if he had such a desperate need for “hichkich,” I could provide him with Vicks. Because seriously, what exactly am I supposed to do with that?

His response was basically: “I would do it.” And then somehow I became the problem. That's the part I cannot understand. Have you ever actually stopped for two seconds and thought about what a girl might feel when someone repeatedly takes her pictures, sends them around, makes suggestive noises about her, and then continues to say, “Yeah, you're the problem”?

Or is it simply easier to laugh because you're not the one experiencing it? You don't get to decide whether something is uncomfortable for me. I do. And I don't care if you think it's funny. I don't care if your friends think it's funny. Once I have clearly told you to stop, continuing isn't “just a joke” anymore. It's you deliberately choosing to ignore a boundary.

And honestly, today was already a fucking awful day. The usual shitty Delhi chaos had already started my day badly. I had multiple things go wrong before I even reached college. By the time I got there, I was already exhausted. Then this happened. And that was my breaking point. I broke down. I wasn't trying to create a scene. I wasn't trying to get attention. I wasn't trying to make anyone feel sorry for me.

I just reached the point where I couldn't keep swallowing everything and pretending it was fine. And the worst part is that after all of this, I literally told my friends that maybe I should just stop interacting with everyone again. Maybe I should go back to first semester. Maybe avoiding everyone was the right thing. But why the fuck should I have to do that?

I'm already someone with a very small social life. I already have a tiny social circle. I already spend most of my life going to college, sitting with my two close friends during breaks, attending classes and going home. I'm not asking for much. I'm asking to exist around my friends without being photographed, teased, sexualized or made uncomfortable.

I shouldn't have to give up the only friendships I've made because someone else thinks his entertainment is more important than my boundaries. And no, this isn't about me being unable to take a joke. There is a difference between joking with someone and making someone the subject of your joke after they've told you they don't like it. There is a difference between harmless teasing and repeatedly taking someone's picture, sending it to someone else, making suggestive noises and then saying “I'll keep doing it” after being asked to stop. At that point, you're not joking with me. You're disrespecting me.

I'm not writing this because I want revenge. I'm writing this because I genuinely want to know how other students deal with this kind of behavior before it becomes something much bigger.

I refuse to believe the solution is for me to become quieter, smaller and more isolated. I shouldn't have to disappear just because someone else refuses to learn how to behave.

I’m studying at Shaheed Bhagat Singh College (SBSC), Delhi University, and I’m writing this because I genuinely don't know whether I handled this situation correctly. I’m an introvert. During my first semester, I basically avoided everyone. In my second semester, I finally started opening up a little and made two close friends, one male and one female. That is basically my entire social circle. I don't party. I don't hang out with random groups. I don't go around flirting with people. I don't create drama. My college life is literally: go to college > sit with my friends during breaks > attend classes > go home. That's it. The guy I'm talking about is a friend of my male close friend, and we're all classmates. For a while now, whenever I'm around my male friend, this guy makes these “hichkich” noises, teasing sounds, gestures and comments. He has also repeatedly taken pictures of me and sent them directly to my male friend, followed by comments and gestures implying something about me and my friend. I've also helped this guy with college work before. I'm someone who helps people generally, and I've helped him with things like rescheduling his presentation/submission around deadlines and other college-related stuff. I've never insulted him. I've never embarrassed him. I've never picked a fight with him. So there was never some personal conflict between us. I ignored his behavior for a long time. Something similar happened to me when I was in school. Back then, I stayed silent. I ignored it because I thought eventually people would get bored. They didn't. It eventually became a much bigger problem. And I promised myself I would never let myself get pushed into that situation again. So today I confronted him. And I was polite. I told him: “You're making me uncomfortable. Stop.” I explained what my actual problem was. If you want to make your “hichkich” noises or whatever gestures you want around my male friend when I'm not there, that's your business. But when I'm standing there and I've told you that it makes me uncomfortable, stop doing it around me. I even said, sarcastically, that if he had such a desperate need for “hichkich,” I could provide him with Vicks. His response was basically: “I would do it.” And then somehow I became the problem. That's the part I cannot understand. Have you ever actually stopped for two seconds and thought about what a girl might feel when someone repeatedly takes her pictures, sends them around, makes suggestive noises about her, and then continues even after she has said that she's uncomfortable? Or is it simply easier to laugh because you're not the one experiencing it? You don't get to decide whether something is uncomfortable for me. I do. Once I have clearly told you to stop, continuing isn't “just a joke” anymore. It's deliberately ignoring a boundary. And honestly, today was already a fucking awful day. The usual shitty Delhi chaos had already started my day badly. I had multiple things go wrong before I even reached college. By the time I got there, I was already exhausted. Then this happened. And that was my breaking point. I broke down. I wasn't trying to create a scene. I wasn't trying to get attention. I wasn't trying to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just reached the point where I couldn't keep swallowing everything and pretending it was fine. After everything, I even told my friends that maybe I should just stop interacting with everyone again. Maybe I should go back to first semester. Maybe avoiding everyone was the right thing. But why the fuck should I have to do that? I already have a very small social life. I spend most of my time going to college, sitting with my two close friends during breaks, attending classes and going home. I'm not asking for much. I'm asking to exist around my friends without being photographed, teased, sexualized or made uncomfortable. I shouldn't have to give up the only friendships I've made because someone else thinks his entertainment is more important than my boundaries. There is a difference between joking with someone and making someone the subject of your joke after they've told you they don't like it. There is a difference between harmless teasing and repeatedly taking someone's picture, sending it to someone else, making suggestive noises and then saying “I'll keep doing it” after being asked to stop. At that point, you're not joking with me. You're disrespecting me. I refuse to believe the solution is for me to become quieter, smaller and more isolated. I shouldn't have to disappear just because someone else refuses to learn how to behave.