Hi, r/disabled!
I’m Helen!
I was born profoundly deaf and I use sign language to communicate. I’m also passionate about all things disabled.
I only just found out about this subreddit. I’m curious what’s the difference between this subreddit and r/disability?
AAA-HHHHHHH!
It's me, Helen!
As the title said, this is my follow-up post in response to the popularity of my recent rant post.
Last Wednesday evening, because the trees were blooming and colors were coming back, I decided to go out for a walk around a nearby park with a cute waterfall. That area is also nearby one of my favorite restaurants. I took a bubble bath before going out because I needed to smell pretty when I'm around people.
Like I usually do, I browsed reddit when I was in the bathtub and I found this post.
In short, it's a post made by a hearing guy asking r/deaf if he should give his phone number to his coworker who is a deaf woman.
I just lost it at that post because I felt like that it was such a shit post. We do have r/askdeaf and I felt like posts like this belonged over there - not here in r/deaf. I also felt really bad for this deaf woman because in the comment section of that post, members of this community told him to not date anyone at work and OP was like "why not?" Like, duh? Has he not heard of basic workplace etiquette!? That post also got me worried about that deaf woman because I know if things go south at her workplace, her superiors are likely to favor and protect their hearing worker over their deaf worker. It felt like to me that his shitty workplace etiquette would hurt a deaf person.
I was already having a lot of frustrations with r/deaf and that post sent me over the edge. Impulses got the best of me and I wrote that post.
I wrote that whole post in the bubble bath I was having that evening.
I posted the rant here and went out for a walk at the park with the waterfall. I didn't bother with turning on my reddit notifications.
I was expecting to get downvoted. I didn't care. I just felt good that I got it out of my system. I figured that I'd get maybe five angry Redditors and I'd have some fun fighting them on the internet later on that night.
By the time I sat down for dinner, I checked reddit and I was floored with the overwhelming amount of comments I got on that post. It is currently my #2 post of all time. And in the past, my posts have never broken the 100 comment line. This post has just over 200 comments. And it was full of love for my rant.
I also got quite a few flattering DMs.
My post also inspired three posts here in r/deaf. One was about a new Germany movie with a deaf character in it. I didn't even know about that until I saw that post. The other one was about a deaf artist from 100 years ago that died too young. I also never knew about this either until I saw that post! And the yet another one is about a written form of sign language!
Guys… I am humbled by all of the love I got from that rant post.
And…
I feel like you deserve a follow-up post with me being level with you about that post and my plans for the future.
As you can glean from my post, I am dealing with a lot of frustrations about the r/deaf community here.
Look -
I do have a lot of experience in the deaf community. I also came from a unique blend of backgrounds. I grew up mainstreamed, went to Gallaudet University, got a job in the deaf world, and then moved beyond that. I've been involved with a lot of stuff in this community. I've made a good amount of friends in this community.
To my friends, I am someone who they specifically seek out to discuss issues around the deaf community because they like my thoughts/perspectives on stuff like this. It means a lot to me that I am valued in that way.
So I got to a point where I began to feel something like: "You know… I'm limited to expressing my thoughts/perspectives on the deaf community only when and if someone asks me. I'm letting my thoughts/perspectives go to waste. I should do something about this."
I thought about starting a blog site but I was worried about it sitting in the internet void unnoticed by the deaf community. I don't have any personal social media platforms except for my main reddit account. I just simply hate Facebook, Instagram, and Tik Tok. I only have stealth accounts on these for the sole purpose of following the trends of the deaf community and some other stuff. I don't have any social media accounts connected to people I know in real life.
So, because of this, I don't really have a way to "advertise" my written posts.
That's how I settled on reddit. I am a really old Redditor myself. I have been around this site since its inception. I have a main account out there with essentially no post history, just years worth of comment history in subreddits based around my hobbies and interests. I don't use that account to engage with the r/deaf community here.
So… yeah, reddit became the obvious platform of choice for me. I saw reddit, and r/deaf specifically, as a way to engage directly with the deaf community. I also really liked that r/deaf is a community with 45,000 members.
I especially liked that the members in this community are insanely diverse. There are big "D" Deaf people, lower "d" deaf people, people with a degree of hearing loss who know ASL, people with a degree of hearing loss who don't know ASL, CODAs, ASL interpreters, and all kinds of deaf people imaginable. This is my ideal target audience. There's no other community like this one anywhere on the internet.
After figuring out a memorable username, I started posting here just over a year ago.
When I began posting here, I was already aware that this subreddit was full of the repetitive "I just turned deaf, what do?" "I'm struggling with SSI" "Which accessibility tech do you recommend" posts. I really don't have any problem with these kinds of posts. I just wanted to talk to an online community of deaf people about our community's current events, politics, history, and culture. So I set out to fill that gap in this subreddit.
I was expecting my posts to coexist side-by-side next to the typical posts we see in this subreddit.
I didn't anticipate that I would cause quite a bit of friction in this community. It took me a year to finally realize that I was shaking up the status quo in this community.
In my posts about NAD, RID, and some other rather controversial topics, I've attracted a certain crowd of people who are deeply upset with the fact that I'm here on reddit posting about these kinds of stuff.
And look here. I don't mind criticism. I don't mind disagreements. I don't mind people taking on views that counter my views.
… I just can't stand being told that I should NOT be posting the kinds of stuff that I do.
I. JUST. CAN’T!
I, deep in my heart, know that I'm making the deaf community a better place by initiating the conversations that I do. I am deeply offended at the insinuations that I should NOT be starting these kinds of conversations and that I need to conform to the status quo.
This subreddit isn't the only place that I've caused friction. One of my posts in r/blind got removed. I posted about finding out that Ray Charles went to Florida School for the Deaf and Blind. They removed it because it wasn't about blindness itself. I mean, I think a post about one of the most famous blind people to have ever lived is relevant to r/blind.
Also, I posted my "Fuck you, Dale" that I made here in r/deaf in r/disability and sent the mods over there into a panic mode. They removed it because "THIS IS A POLITICAL POST! YOU'RE SETTING THIS SUBREDDIT ON FIRE! WE DON'T POST STUFF LIKE THAT HERE!" I mean, excuse me for thinking that it is relevant to r/disability that there is an Idahoan politician who thinks we shouldn't be getting money from the education system for our accessibility needs and that we should be getting money from the medical/hospital system (implying that we should be raised institutionalized).
These experiences, in addition to my experience here in r/deaf, taught me that people are accustomed to having these kinds of subreddits focus on their "-ness." As in, their blindness, their disability-ness, and their deafness. And when I showed up posting about a politically charged topic, a certain crowd of people here loses their mind.
I also went through a few "incidents" that really gave me a reason to fear that I would eventually make a post that gets me banned from this community. I really don't want to lose this community.
One of those incidents happened a few months ago and it completely crushed my spirit.
Ever since, I've been posting about a few cool stuff around the community but they're all the kinds of stuff that I knew wouldn't be controversial in this community. I don't mind writing posts like these but it really kills me that I've been holding back on a lot of posts that I really wanted to make.
Posts like, for example:
I've made 76 posts and I have 196 post drafts in my "Helen" folder. I've written a lot of posts where I ended up at a roadblock because I've written stuff that I know will make a certain crowd of people here in this community upset.
So, about two months ago, I realized that I needed to create a space here on reddit dedicated to these kinds of posts. I've spent the last two months figuring out a subreddit name.
I've settled on r/HelensDeafClub.
(Author's note: that subreddit isn't open yet.)
This subreddit will be dedicated to conversations about the deaf community's current events, politics, culture, and history. I've completed writing up the rules, flairs, and a pinned post that introduces the subreddit. I also have a rule that is specifically aimed at people who find these kinds of contents to be objectionable.
Right now, I'm working on ten fresh long-form posts to be available for you guys to read when I launch the subreddit. In my mind, these posts will help set the tone for the subreddit. I aim to open this subreddit just before the NAD's upcoming conference.
Maybe I should open it sooner rather than later because one of my plans for that subreddit is to spend an hour every day scraping news from the deaf community and posting them in that subreddit. My goal with doing that is to make my subreddit a centralized place for all of the daily news that pops up in the deaf community. And I can just spend some time every day working toward a long-*ass post that I'm known for and drop it when it's ready.
I don't know. You tell me.
I also received a DM that suggested I start my own Substack for my long-form content. That was a great suggestion. I'm actively thinking about how I will launch that but this is something that will come further down the line rather than soon.
So here you go.
Again, I cannot express how grateful I am for the love I've received from my recent rant post.
Thank you for reading!
Helen <3
Helen.
For the last two weeks, every single post from this community that hit my front page are all from hearing people asking dumb question about us the deaf people or people who suddenly discovered that they’re deaf and come in here to say “I’m deaf, wat do?”
I’m speaking to you the actual deaf people right now. Why are you not posting anything here!?
Am I the only deaf redditor on the planet!? Do I live in a stimulation!? Did I fucked up and swallowed the blue pill instead of the red pill!?
Does Reddit scare you or what!? Or does reading make your eyes bleed!?
You complain about hearing people occupying deaf space all day long and this subreddit has 45,000 subscribers! There has to be some of you people out there! Start posting shit here! Reclaim this community!
—
The two biggest organizations in our community (NAD and RID) are having an epic fuck-up with hiring a CEO!
Arizona School for the Deaf and Blind just shut down their Tucson campus and the deaf community can’t shut up about it! For a good reason! Because it is a casualty of the fucking MAGA!
A deaf lady from somewhere in Pennsylvania or whatever killed her deaf niece!
Pi00a got money on shark tank! FUCK YEAH! FUCK CSD! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE CSD FOR KILLING MOZZERIA!
Fucking Disney CGI’d some lame Pixar songs in ASL and I CANT FUCKING UNDERSTAND SHIT! And Leila Hanaumi is going around “guys… you just gotta understand how amazing this is 👁️👄👁️”
Fucking Italy just released a remake of the CODA movie! IM GOING TO FUCKING WATCH THAT ON NETFLIX TONIGHT! OKAY!?
FDA just approved a gene therapy that can cure deafness! And Trump bragged about this! Gallaudet University made a statement in a response to this! WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE! AAAHHHHHH!
—
And this subreddit is nothing but endless posts about “me learn ASL or no?” “Hearing person here. Why do deaf people swivel their heads to see things? Is it a trauma response no?” “Do money grow on trees? Because people be saying I need to pay for my hearing aids” "Hearing here. There is a deaf person at my work and I wanna fuck her. Please provide detailed instruction on how I can fuck her. And, no, I won't learn ASL lmao"
It’s the same thing on discord! I joined deafcord last month and went “Hi, I’m Helen. So have you heard about the RID’s failed CEO search process? And NAD’s CEO finalists?”
“WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT HERE!”
“Whoa, whoa. Why not? More than 15 states have interpreter licensure laws and if RID fall, it’ll affect tens of thousands deaf people. NAD is the reason why we can buy insurance and get a driver’s license so if they also fall, that’ll have quite bit of an impact. Why can’t I talk about it here with my fellow deaf people?”
“WE DONT CARE FOR A MOTHERFUCKING REASON! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A SWEATER THAT I KNITTED TODAY HERE! GO AWAY!”
I CANT FUCKING EVEN!
You! You deaf people! Start posting shit here! I’m fucking sick of this subreddit being full of mindless shit!
We can’t hear! So let me scream here! AAAHHHHH!
Come on people! Scream with me! AAAHHHHH!
I’m as mad as hell and I won’t take this anymore!
Anyway, can’t wait to open up my new subreddit for this purpose. I’m done with everything but I want to have like 10 fresh long ass post ready to go. I’m thinking about opening it just before the NAD conference.
I’m going to go and watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch with my CI on now to calm down.
Thanks for reading!
: D
Helen