u/Helldiver_13

The thing about me is, I have this weird urge to create stuff. Really stated with legos and in the sand box as a child and it’s been with me all this time.

Whenever I find myself with time I automatically just start making shit. Now don’t get me wrong I’m still terrible at it for the most part, my taste is always ahead of my personal skill level. But oddly enough I still enjoy things like drawing.

Additionally, when it comes to art I tend to be very critical, probably a direct consequence of being critical about my own work and wanting it to be good, to be satisfied with it. Went to an art museum a couple months ago and I honestly mostly complained. Which is ridiculous of me because there were literally Rembrandt paintings in there lol, so it’s not like your local shit artist. I just said what I didn’t like because i didn’t like it. Some of it I called bad or ugly or straight up wrong because that’s what I felt. I realised my company had quite a different view of things, like, seeing a more emotional aspect of it? If I’m not mistaken she was INFP, which probably explains that.

Anyway, these two things have always kinda haunted me. The need to create and the flow of constant criticism. It got me wondering:

Are you like this too? Do you suffer the same curse as me? Or as the bot likes to put it, do you poop like me. Because let’s be honest, some of my art is shit. Are you “bad” at art but just need a creative outlet to function?

I feel like I have been out of it a while now. Just generally stuck in a rut.

Feel like it’s time to change things up, but I’m looking for some inspiration! (Or is that just another form of procrastination? Lol).

What do you guys do to lock in and get going? How did you find your call or something that motives you?

It sees my energy always comes and goes in waves, often times in short intense bursts followed by rest. I still get things done regardless but the difference is noticeable for sure.

It seems, at least based off of stereotypes, that this is quite common behaviour for people with ADHD as well.

I’m curious if more people relate to this and it’s just a matter of overlap. Or should I be tested lol?

Like yes, obviously we need money to live yada yada. I’m not talking about that. Some people seem to be so motivated by money. Hoarding it, spending it, showing it off. Guess it kinda goes hand in hand with power and status to a large degree. Which I suppose we INTPs aren’t famous for caring much about.

It just doesn’t motivate me at all. Like yeah I need money and I’d absolutely love to have more. In fact if you wanna send me a bunch i wouldn’t mind, I’ll put it to good use. But it’s never the goal, I don’t care about it, it’s really just an unnecessary evil, a distraction from what I really want.

And like, not having money bothers me but only because it prevents me from doing what I want. I just wanna do stuff you know? Create, build, explore. Maybe I’m just cursed with the burden of wanting to be an artist.

The sad things is, I think living that way I would feel my absolute best, but it is completely incompatible with the world. I have burst of energy, I enjoy downtime between projects, I wanna work when I feel inspired and just live when I don’t. Work on random things and never finish half of my projects. Thats how I want to live, that’s when I feel the best. But non of that is compatible with the world, so I’m forced to constantly go against my nature and submit to the fact that money matters, regardless of if I care about it or not

I tend to be pretty normal, just plain old boring. Or well, at least that’s what most people think. Then they get to know me better, I get comfortable and eventually they get the special privileges that comes with being in my inner circle and BOOM, suddenly I’m whimsical and weird. I throw out ideas left and right, I say weird things and make stupid observations that I turn into even dumber jokes. You’d never know unless you’re in.

Anyway, there’s probably no real connection to MBTI here but I can’t help but to be curious what you think. Which type do you consider the most whimsical?

Publicly I’m usually pretty “normal”, whatever that means. I’m non reactive, not super expressive but don’t walk around with a dead expression all day either. I do what has to be done and that’s about it.

But then I get into my safe space with people who got my special privileges and suddenly I’m whimsical and fun. Especially in text, but when I have the social energy my personality really changes?