u/Helpful-Return-5594

He’s an EMS for our city, met him briefly through a class I took. Turns out, both my sister and mom already have dealt with him. He drove my BIL to the hospital after my sisters home birth had complications. He met my mom during a crazy neighbor in incident.

Then when I took the class, he was helping with something on our street and my mom talked to him. Told her his plan and work history, retirement plan, previous job details.

Then I decided to follow him online, fb and insta. He liked all 3 of my picture posts since we’ve followed eachother.

This totally could be coincidence, but when I put single on my profile on fb he suddenly showed his. (It wasn’t there at first, I checked when I friended lol)

He stopped by my sisters house to check out their kids new power car toy.

Neighbor complained about our dog and my mom said he walked up with a smirk.

I’ve talked to him once.. it just is pretty cool to hear such good things about him from my family.

It’s just like.. do I message him and ask him out? He works in our city.. lol

Or, if I give it enough time, meet organically? He’s suppose to bring his car by my BIL once it’s fixed. I hate online shit.

Thoughts, takes, etc? Feeling a little stalkery rn

I know this sounds crazy, so please just read this first.

Let’s call them Pat & Rob.

Pat and I dated in highschool, we broke up because I was moving. Decent relationship otherwise. We didn’t talk for 5 years, but reconnected as friends at a shared hobby outing. We talk maybe twice a month, on hobby things, young professional obstacles, and health issues that he and my dad both have. Sticking point for Rob, pat April fools me’d that he was in love with me four years ago. We’ve hungout purely platonically since reconnecting, no boundaries crossed or talks.

Rob and I were good friends in highschool. I moved away, we stopped talking. I moved back, and he was actively pursing me. After some consideration, we started dating for 4~ months. Fresh break up as of last week. I did not adjust well. I wasn’t sure we could work, he wanted to try. The food was good, the bad was bad (arguing, not seeing eye to eye). Both of my parents are going through health issues, and with the drama I created by trying to give him a chance is just way too much. We’re both in wildly different places in our lives, I don’t have the capacity to feel offset bc of a relationship. I broke up with him, and he’s liking petty stuff online ie “a well fed dog isn’t barking” “I have to apologize to my friends for my relationship drama” etc etc

Rob was not happy bc I said I wasn’t friends with exes. While Pat is an ex, we reconnected over a hobby. There is nothing there, he’s a good person, we isn’t workout. Rob would get bothered when I said Pat was a good guy, and he’s like him. That we still talked, and would through it in my face to be with him in arguments.. even though like what the fuck? We would have dated if that was the M.O

Rob is a decent guy. But he has trauma with his ex going on trips and cheating, plus he talked shit about pat without meeting him. I’d like to go back to friends with Rob, as we were before (we agreed to this before dating, still holds).

I am going to an event for our Hobby with Pat, one that Rob has always wanted to go to. I invited myself because I also have wanted to go. Separate room, bills, etc.

My question is, should I tell Pat? He will find out anyways because we’re all in the same group for our hobby, and I don’t want there to be bad blood.

Thanks if you read this far, it’s actually really fucking with my head.

Little backstory, my boyfriend and I were good friends in highschool and stayed in touch over the last ten years, leading us to get together end of last year. We’re both super happy together and I love it.

He had some issues with a scumbag landlord (wasn’t his property) and a co renter back out.. lost a lot of income and he’s working at his friends company now making good money, trying to recoup and build.

I’m in a good place financially, and honestly he’s going to be fixing up my sports car once he gets a place.

The work on my car, is the same cost as a trailer he wants to get. It’s his dream trailer.

He’s currently renting 3 storage units spending 1000$+ a month while he looks at new buildings.

So, it just makes a lot of sense to just pay him now when I have the money for the car repairs that need to be done anyways, and that way it also lightens his load. He won’t have to stress, all his stuff will be in one place, and he can focus on what he needs to do.

I’m just wondering if this will have any issues down the line?

I’m not worried about him screwing me over, not doing the work, etc. I have always trusted him and he continues to always follow through. Worse case, the money won’t break me either.

I just mean like, in a bad way, as a man?

Because I just want to support him and his dream, he’s down and I’m in a good spot. We are solid in our relationship, and friendship.