Realization about the complexity of what I have been experiencing
I tried to help someone and despite my expertise, I couldn’t. After nearly 9 months, until about a week ago, I felt like a failure because I couldn’t help him despite all the years I have spent dedicated to my field and my research. I was helping on a personal level, but I only met him because of what he was going through. I realized recently, everything I was experiencing, even the imposter syndrome, was connected to vicarious trauma. I feel it’s something to consider for people in fields that deal with life or death situations. Now that I understand the complexity of why I feel like a failure, like an imposter, I can start working on resolutions. Hopefully in the future, I will be able to use the painful experience to help others instead of blaming myself for what I couldn’t do