r/ImposterSyndrome

Hey! I’ve posted a few times on this app but not quite as straight forward as this. I accepted a job in an outpatient clinic where I would be the only OT helping build a caseload. The goal was to be a generalist in a under served community where I could work with pediatrics and orthopedics, which I felt would be a great opportunity to get into the ortho realm because there’s very limited opportunities for that in my area. Since beginning I’ve had imposter syndrome but I feel like with my ADHD I keep catastrophizing, internalizing any poor outcomes, and just feel like a shit therapist. I also compare myself to my old classmates who don’t appear to be struggling quite as hard for me. I quest my questions are:

1. How do I truly know if I’m doing enough to help someone?

2. How do I manage when parents only bring their kids to 3-4 visits before no showing and having to be discharged? It can’t always be because of me right?

3. How do i feel enough even though i generate half the income of the PTs? ( they double- I one on one)

Any advice is appreciated!

Cross posted

I hit a point this year where I was standing at the sink doing dishes and realized I couldn’t remember the last time I did something that wasn’t for someone else. Turns out it’s really common and almost nobody talks about it directly.

I couldn’t find anything that wasn’t either a 200 page self help book or a TikTok trend, so I made my own reference guide.

12 short sections (why resentment shows up, testing new versions of yourself, boundaries) each with a quick script and a do/don’t.

Hi everyone.

I'm writing this while crying because I genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting or if this situation is actually as bad as it feels. I really need advice from experienced nurses, especially those who've worked in ICU.

For some background, I recently graduated as an anesthesia and intensive care nurse. This is my very first nursing job.

During my interview, I was completely honest. I told them I was a new graduate and that I'd need guidance and orientation. I wasn't expecting someone to hold my hand forever, but I expected at least a proper introduction to the unit and some supervision until I became comfortable.

They reassured me that there will be a nurse with me who'll guide me through the shift and everything would be fine, so I accepted the job.

Day One :

I arrived feeling excited but incredibly nervous. I expected someone to explain how the ICU functioned, show me where everything was, teach me the documentation system, explain how they organized medications, and just generally orient me to the unit.

Instead, the nurse who was supposed to guide me gave me a very quick tour. He showed me where a few things were and told me the ICU was usually quiet. He even said he'd worked nine consecutive days and had only had two patients, so I assumed my first few days would be calm enough for me to learn.

Then, out of nowhere, two patients were admitted.

I immediately felt overwhelmed. I was a brand-new graduate on my first day, and suddenly I was helping care for two ICU patients.

I knew I needed help, so I called one of the nurses from the neighboring service. She came over and helped for a little while, but then she told me I should call the nurse who was supposed to be responsible for me. So I called him.

Instead of sounding reassuring or supportive, he acted like I was bothering him. He kept joking that I was a "jinx" because everything suddenly became busy on my first day. I tried to laugh it off because I didn't want to make things awkward, but inside I felt guilty for asking for help when I genuinely didn't know what I was doing.

The thing is, I wasn't asking because I wanted someone else to do my work. I was asking because I wanted to do things correctly and safely.

Despite everything happening, there still wasn't any real orientation.

Nobody explained the workflow. Nobody sat down to teach me. Nobody checked whether I understood anything.

I spent the day trying to figure things out as I went while taking care of critically ill patients.

To make things worse, the nurse who was supposed to guide me actually left work before I did.

I was still there, trying to understand everything, while the person responsible for orienting me had already gone home.

I left work exhausted, anxious, and questioning myself, but I kept telling myself that maybe first days are just hard and tomorrow would be better.

Day Two :

I walked into work hoping things would improve.

Instead, I got the biggest shock.

I found out that the nurse who had been working there before me had already left the job.

So suddenly there wasn't an experienced ICU nurse working with me.

I was basically expected to function as the ICU nurse on my second day at work after graduation.

I still didn't know where everything was.

I was still learning the routine and memorizing the building. Also still trying to remember where supplies were kept.

Every task took me longer because I was double-checking everything. I didn't want to make mistakes.

Then the head nurse came over. Instead of asking whether I needed help, he started raising his voice at me. He told me that I was still thinking like a student and kept saying I needed to stop acting like one. He also said it in a way that made me feel completely incompetent.

I understand that I'm no longer a student.

But I've only been a registered nurse for two days.

Of course I'm going to ask questions and of f course I'm going to be slower.

I'd rather be slow than make a mistake with a critically ill patient.

Eventually I couldn't hold it together anymore.

I CRIED.

The experienced nurses didn't make things any easier.

Every time I asked for help, they acted annoyed.

I kept hearing comments like,

"Oh, here she goes again."

"There she is."

It made me feel like I was a burden just for asking questions. After a while, I became afraid to ask anything because I felt like everyone was irritated with me. But at the same time, not asking questions in an ICU felt even more dangerous. Then another critically injured patient from a road accident was admitted.

I honestly felt like I was drowning.

I'm standing there thinking...

"I'm on my second day. How am I supposed to manage this safely?"

Why I Want to Leave :

After everything that happened, I contacted the person who hired me.

I told him I wanted to resign during my trial period.

He told me not to contact management directly and that he would speak to them first. Now I'm waiting.

But honestly...I don't want to go back, I've been crying since this morning.

I don't feel supported. I don't feel safe. And I don't think this is a good environment for a brand-new ICU nurse.

I mean I expected nursing to be stressful and expected long shifts and difficult patients.

What I didn't expect was to be left without proper orientation, feel like a burden every time I asked for help, and be yelled at for not already knowing everything.

I feel guilty because it's only my second day.

Part of me keeps wondering if I'm just weak.

Maybe everyone goes through this. Maybe I should push through it.

But another part of me feels like this isn't normal.

So I'm asking those of you with experience:

Is this a normal way to treat a new graduate in the ICU? Would you have stayed? Am I quitting too early, or are these serious red flags?

If you were in my position, what would you do?

I genuinely became a nurse because I wanted to help people.

I don't want my first job to make me question whether I belong in this profession.

Thank you for reading.

I’m 28F and live with my partner (34M), who is semi-retired and doesn’t work. I do work, and I’m starting to realize I have a really weird pattern that I don’t fully understand.

I think it might be related to being raised as a “gifted child.” Growing up, I felt like things were supposed to come naturally. Now, as an adult, I feel embarrassed if someone sees me actually trying.

It’s not just work. It’s everything.

If my partner is home, I somehow end up matching his energy. We hang out, relax, watch things together, and I avoid doing the stuff I actually need to do. I won’t deep clean the bathroom, change the sheets, tackle a difficult work task, or spend hours organizing something.

The strange part is that when he goes away for a few days, I become a completely different person. I’ll deep clean the apartment, catch up on work, organize everything, and feel relieved. It’s like I finally have permission to put in effort because no one is watching.

I don’t think he’s judging me. He’s never said anything that would make me think that. This feels like it’s entirely coming from me.

So now I’m wondering:

Why do I feel ashamed of being seen working hard?

Why do I want people to think things are effortless instead of letting them see the process?

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this related to gifted kid syndrome, perfectionism, or something else entirely? I’d love to hear if anyone has gone through something similar or found a way to get past it.

For the past couple months I have been having extremely painful and debilitating stomachaches and being very sick all around the clock. Recently after getting some lab work done my doctors are almost confident I have celiacs disease. I have always been anemic, my iron levels and b12 levels were just as bad and every single antibody on the celiac panel from my labs came back abnormal. My doctor told me usually in cases of celiacs only a couple antibodies come back abnormal, but of course all of mine had to be abnormal. After the panel had come back she had suggested I completely cut out gluten which has helped alot. They scheduled me for an upper endoscopy and colonoscopy about a month later and I had to eat gluten which did not make me feel good at all. (a part of me worries my anxiety is gaslighting me to believe gluten is poisoning me when it actually isnt.) Its been about 5 days since my procedure and I will still need to wait about a week or so before my biopsy results come back. My worry here is that they will not find the celiacs and I have been telling everyone I need to stay away from gluten. Unfortunately not alot of people in my life know about celiacs and how severe it can be, and to be fair I am completely new to this too. I have always been such an adventurous eater and have only ever had some issues with dairy so this is a big change. I am concerned I wont be able to eat out because alot of places arent great with cross contamination or that people in my life wont be accommodating, or that I am just insane and my anxiety has made me think that any bit of gluten can hurt me. I am making this post after having a dinner that had cross contamination and feeling pretty crappy- no joke lol (I did inform the waiter but this was the best they could do.) So celiacs of reddit, thank you for listening to my rant and if you have any advice or stories that might be of some help I would appreciate it!
I am also aware that food in america sucks balls and that pretty much everything isnt healthy.

TLDR- pretty sure I have celiacs but not convinced and I dont know how to cut it out and still be able to eat normally.

Hello dear community!

I am 33F, was diagnosed with ASD at 25 years old. I remember how the woman who assessed me told me that I’m basically right on the edge between neurotypical and autistic. And that the term of my diagnosis would be atypical autism or PDD NOS. I’ve therefore struggled with feeling allowed to present myself as autistic. It’s been 8 years and I’ve still not told a large part of my friend group that I’ve known for 17 years. My family knows and the partners I’ve had. I’ve experienced support of my diagnose from my latest ex. But before I was met with confusion and the classic phrase “everyone is a little autistic”. I feel like I want to take back and own this diagnose and not be afraid of what my friends might think of it. Or maybe I don’t have to tell them if I don’t see any value in it, but also for my own sake I want to feel like a whole person. And not someone that sometimes have difficulties and sometimes don’t. IE “I’m only autistic when I’m sensory overloaded or hyper focused”.

Other pdd nos:er: please share your life examples so I hopefully can relate. I’ve already watched everything on YouTube on the subject but I want more real life detailed experiences. Even though I know that every autistic person is different than the next.

Hi everyone

I found out I have dyscalculia earlier this year, I also was diagnosed with ADHD before that at 18 years old. I am in my 20s now.
It has been very eye opening and validating knowing I have a reason for my struggles. But I have low self esteem, I feel like I am stupid even thought I know I am not.

How do you guys cope with knowing you have a learning disability that impacts your day to day life? I am looking for support.

I spent a year making slow progress on making and recording songs. I used to be very down in the dumps on my slow progress. Now I make a song or two a day if I have time, with summer break I have plenty. But I still can’t shake this feeling that I am doing too little. Don’t get me wrong all the songs I am making I am very happy with and I don’t feel like this is a case of quantity versus quality. I just feel like it will disappear one day. Does anyone have any insight? Or any words that would help me ? (I understand I am in just in my head but it would be helpful to see other people’s thoughts on this matter)

I don’t think I’m ugly, out of shape, unintelligent or anything of the sort. I don’t hate myself or have thoughts of suicide (I used to but I had a little character development). One thing does stick with me though. I have no sense of self worth. I don’t believe that I am worth anything when I constantly tell people they matter. This really confuses me so I was hoping I could get maybe some ideas.