Hello,
Our little family is thinking to move to Des Moines. We love the downtown and the arcade, and it seems like there is an actual community there. I joined the sub to get a feel for Des Moines.
What are the schools like? Any daycare/preschools that you recommend? If you moved here with your family, how are you liking it?
My husband had an extremely rough time last night with our one year old at bedtime to the point he put him in his crib and stormed out to tell me to go to *my* baby.
This morning, instead of enjoying a lovely Father’s Day, he tells me he doesn’t want the gifts or to talk about last night or to celebrate Father’s Day. From the little bit he shared, he says it’s because he feels like a bad dad in having no patience with our toddler and that he doesn’t feel happy or joy about having a kid. I told him that maybe it’s just this age group that is hard for him and when our kid is older and more independent, it will be different. He doesn’t believe me. I told him he should find a friend to talk to or at least a therapist to sort this stuff out. I am concerned bc our kid has forever had difficulty sleeping through the night (aka multiple night wakings hence we don’t get any sleep) and it makes things rough all around. There’s been several times I’ve witnessed my husband lose his cool after rocking our kid for 30mins+ to no avail where he ends up aggressively shushing or loudly telling our toddler to be quiet. I’m sympathetic to the plight (I get frustrated sometimes with our kid too) but also concerned when I see/hear this. It truly breaks my heart. (Yes we usually switch off with rocking our kid or if we get frustrated, we will usually tag team. However some days I witness this over monitor when I come back from work and am putting things away/showering/cleaning up or am in the middle of something where I can’t go in to help).
Any dads go through this? Did it get better for you? What made things better? He unfortunately doesn’t have close friends with babies/toddlers - either friends have chosen the no kids life or friends have teenagers now / love being a dad. I don’t know how to encourage and support him through this. This whole thing really breaks my heart.
**TLDR**:
Husband struggling with regret and does not feel connected like a dad to our 1 year old toddler. How do I help support him as a wife? If you were a dad who regretted becoming a dad, did it get better? What helped? *Husband does not have friends who are new dads to relate to.*
My husband had an extremely rough time last night with our one year old at bedtime to the point he put him in his crib and stormed out to tell me to go to my baby.
This morning, instead of enjoying a lovely Father’s Day, he tells me he doesn’t want the gifts or to talk about last night or to celebrate Father’s Day. From the little bit he shared, he says it’s because he feels like a bad dad in having no patience with our toddler and that he doesn’t feel happy or joy about having a kid. I told him that maybe it’s just this age group that is hard for him and when our kid is older and more independent, it will be different. He doesn’t believe me. I told him he should find a friend to talk to or at least a therapist to sort this stuff out. I am concerned bc our kid has forever had difficulty sleeping through the night (aka multiple night wakings hence we don’t get any sleep) and it makes things rough all around. There’s been several times I’ve witnessed my husband lose his cool after rocking our kid for 30mins+ to no avail where he ends up aggressively shushing or loudly telling our toddler to be quiet. I’m sympathetic to the plight (I get frustrated sometimes with our kid too) but also concerned when I see/hear this. It truly breaks my heart. (Yes we usually switch off with rocking our kid or if we get frustrated, we will usually tag team. However some days I witness this over monitor when I come back from work and am putting things away/showering/cleaning up or am in the middle of something where I can’t go in to help).
Any dads go through this? Did it get better for you? What made things better? He unfortunately doesn’t have close friends with babies/toddlers - either friends have chosen the no kids life or friends have teenagers now / love being a dad. I don’t know how to encourage and support him through this. This whole thing really breaks my heart.
TLDR:
Husband struggling with regret and does not feel connected like a dad to our 1 year old toddler. How do I help support him as a wife? If you were a dad who regretted becoming a dad, did it get better? What helped? Husband does not have friends who are new dads to relate to.
My almost 1 year old hates lying on his back for diaper changes and is constantly making 360s on the changing table. It doesn’t matter if the little belt is on, he will just Houdini his way out of it.
For a little while stickers or masking tape worked. I would put a few on his arm and he would look at them or take the time to peel them off. Now he doesn’t care for them. I used to hand him random things in the room to keep him distracted but now it’s like he’s seen it all and doesn’t care for them anymore.
Helpppppp. He’s not standing yet so I can’t change his diaper that way. Also, if he’s poopy, I still need him to lay down and stop rolling 😭