u/HeySista

This is a mix of ranting, venting and some advice.

I’ve been slowly losing weight over months. Lost 20kg so far. There came a point when it apparently became really obvious that I was thinner - around the 15kg mark. People at work started asking me if I had lost weight, what diet I was on etc.

But what’s really weird is how coworkers I would only say hello to in passing were suddenly coming up to me all “omg heyyy girrrrlll how did you lose that much weight?” It’s so weird.

Others can’t talk to me about anything else. Every single time they come up to me, it’s to talk about my weight and how good I look. I’m so glad I have lost weight but it gets really old really fast. As if I’m reduced to a body that is finally reaching people’s ideals and we must talk about it.

And then there are the men… there’s this warehouse guy who was always rude and impatient. We would always make jokes about how he would give us the most nasty answers when we asked him something. Now he’s being *so* nice to me! Talks to me like a person, even smiles!? I even commented with an (older, overweight) coworker that he suddenly was nicer and she said that no, he is still an asshole to her.

It’s all so… fucking weird. I have always been aware of the fact that good looking people have an easier time in life. But it’s bizarre to see it happening to me. In real time. Fortunately it doesn’t bother me that much, and I still have a lot of coworkers with whom I get along and always have.

So maybe be aware that once you lose all that weight, some people will be really weird about it. It won’t always be negative, but it won’t be exactly positive either 😬

Growing up evangelical we had so many rules and a lot of things were considered a sin.

Now I have a 9 year old daughter and I don’t know exactly where to land on rules. I’m afraid I’m overcorrecting my own upbringing and being too permissive.

For instance my daughter likes the group Katseye. They sing in English, which isn’t our first language. But some of their lyrics are full of curse words and she understands some of it. Do I care? I honestly think that it’s better to let her listen and say “you can listen but I don’t like the way they talk”, than forbid it and have her sneak around our backs and listen anyway. She already has a history of hiding things she thinks (sometimes rightly, others not) we won’t like. So I’m lost here.

And not only were my parents strict, my mother was also uninvolved/uninterested. It may sound contradictory but the way she acted was to forbid things, talk about how devilish they were, and then absolutely not care about anything that I liked ever. So I struggle to balance now. I show interest in the bands she likes, I even started listening to one of them and she likes to talk to me about it. But I also know she needs her space because moms are fundamentally uncool 😂 and I don’t want to seem overeager, all up in her business.

There are other things I think about already. She is only 9 but I think about how we will act when she starts dating etc. How did you navigate this?