u/High-Feedback-344

FTM, 5w3d currently. I had been absolutely spiraling with worry this whole time. Scrambled to try to get a 6 week ultrasound because I’m convinced something is wrong (for no reason mind you). Looked up miscarriage stories and every different type of miscarriage you could possibly have, ectopic horror stories and tried to convince my fiancé I just wanted “info” and to “be aware” but the truth is I was making my mental health so much worse. And don’t forget the googling “is this normal” every 28 seconds.

Today, I think something just clicked for me. It’s out of my control. What’s meant to be is meant to be. If baby wants to be sticky, baby is gonna be sticky. I’ve put myself on a google ban. Did some yoga and meditation. And I feel so at peace. Today is the first time I said to myself “I am pregnant, I’m allowed to be excited, and this baby is going to be okay.”

It doesn’t even matter if something eventually does go wrong at some point. It would be better to enjoy it while it lasted instead of whatever I was doing before. And now, if god forbid something does go wrong, I’m confident that I would be able to make peace with it.

Any FTM’s out there worried out their minds, I understand so hard. I hope it ends up “clicking” for you too.

Also curious to know if this mindset fixes itself even more during a second pregnancy, because of already having been through a first. Any second or third time moms felt it got better each time as far as the anxiety?

I was the one who posted yesterday about finding that free pregnancy center and “hitting the jackpot” after seeing all the free resources + free ultrasounds. After being told by a lot of people that I could’ve ran into a crisis pregnancy center that is pro-life and anti-abortion, I got slightly defensive and buckled down. I just figured a place that offers all these resources to low income families and seemed like they genuinely cared was getting a lot of flack for no reason.

Well, I figured it was best to DEEP DIVE research this place. What I found was…. yikes.

They intentionally set up their place right next to an abortion clinic (but the clinic had closed down by 2019 - so was not able to see that info at first). I found an article from a Catholic website about someone setting fire to this pregnancy center in 2021 (they’re fully recovered now) and it is ABSOLUTELY a pro-life organization. They apparently keep track of the number of babies they have “saved”. A Bishop blessed the building when they first opened.

I feel really icky now. Nothing on their website would’ve indicated pro-life, which makes me think they do try to hide it at first and unsuspecting women may walk into their building and not know. I did see something on the website like “hey, 1 in 4 pregnancies end in natural miscarriage early, so if you have a miscarriage, you don’t need an abortion!!” Which makes me worried about what they tell women who they know are considering abortion or if they intentionally misread those women’s ultrasounds which would be so fucked up….

Now I’m second guessing going there even though all of the resources look so amazing and I’m broke (trying to save up for my baby though). I live in the Midwest in a more rural area, so I really shouldn’t be so shocked. But I can’t find anything else like this near me, offering free birthing/parenting classes, ultrasounds, supplies and clothes, etc…. Is it absolutely crazy that I’m still thinking about going there? Fuck, it is isn’t it…. I want that six week ultrasound so bad. I’m so terrified and just want to see my little embryo. Being pregnant just makes me so nervous because I want this so bad and can’t even sleep :( Fuck, I don’t know what to do.

I just wanted to say I’m sorry to everyone in this sub who tried to warn me. I was clearly uneducated on the topic. And just to be clear, I am 100% pro-choice and reproductive rights all the way. Also, I have an OB. It’s just the waiting until 8 weeks for an ultrasound that’s driving me crazy. But like should I even want an ultrasound from this place?? From the way I had talked to them over the phone, I’m pretty sure they knew I wanted to keep my baby…. But still. I think I know what all of you will say and you’re probably right.

I have my 8 week scan on June 24th which feels like an eternity away. For everyone who’s already had an 8 week scan: what questions to ask/what should I bring up? Should I bring a notepad? What should I be prepared to see on the ultrasound? Will it be an abdominal ultrasound? And if I don’t have any concerning symptoms in the meantime should I really just assume everything is okay until then? (Anxiety is hitting hard).

Also what is the usual next scan after 8 weeks if everything looks okay? 10 weeks? 12? I figure I don’t want to go in again until I can do the NIPT I think.

Thanks so much everyone ❤️