Day 1 : Our End
I wrote this two days ago... that was when I knew it was the end of us. I'm not looking for help or judgement, I just wanted to share and write my emotions somewhere... In a place where some might feel the same way, maybe… or maybe not…
Today, i've felt the loneliest i could ever feel in my life, I never knew we could feel this way, but i guess that's what happen when your whole universe turns around one person, and one person only. This is what happen when this person decide to leave you without telling you that it was the end.
The colors in the book you drew together faded, the loud love songs you made together turned down, the basket full of words, attention and love you shared just emptied. That's how I felt when I knew, this is where our story ends...
Today I'm sad, … Wanting to cry and not being able to is a type of pain I never knew existed. My chest hurts, my heart feels heavy, … My mind feels lost and broken… I’m just tired, and so sad… I feel the need to cry, I feel the tears behind my eyes, asking to be freed, but just can't yet let it go… I feel like a broken music box. The music isn't playing anymore, the small dancer is still there, but just standing, unable to move, stuck into its own body… And in my case, mind.
I know one day it will pass, but for now, I just feel like my whole world shattered. Everything I know and feel are all over the place, my mind lost the plot at some point. But I know deep inside me that it is the end of us. I saw the glimmer in your eyes that was saying you wanted to leave, just like sombr wrote in his own story haha. And I will probably end up seeing the eyes I fell for into the children you will have with another woman.
We used to fight over who loved the other the most, and today, I think I won… I never knew this victory would be the most painful experience of my life. I love you, and I will continue loving you for a long time. It's just painful to know I'm the only one left in this story we started together.
Now I must be honest, you are the love of my life, the one i wrote my story with, i’m just not the one you wrote your real story with… You used to say I was yours everyday, and I was genuinely yours,... But you were never entirely mine, even if you used to say you were and I tried my hardest to believe you were. You were not. You are not, and you never will...
This is where my chapter ends. I don't know when I will write again, but I will.
The end of us starts now…