It’s time to give it up, isn’t it?
My — 32/F — ask is in the title.
Very long story short: Monday my neighbor — 14/M — broke into my apartment. My guy who I have been involved with for over a year (49/M who we will call BB) came to support me with the police there as well but had to leave after fifteen minutes because his mom was found passed out and rushed to the hospital an hour away. It’s quite literally always something with his mom in general so this didn’t surprise me. I also know he’s an avoidant and will stay down there to avoid facing reality. Anywho, he offered his apartment to me that night but I decline because honestly, I’m reluctant. I know he has reservations about me being in his place by myself because he has trust issues and is definitely set in his ways. So I came back home.
I did stay at his place last night ( he was not there ) and I got some really good rest but it still felt off. Like I didn’t feel good being there because I had to ask. Even though he knows the neighbor is still here and I’m literally traumatized, I still had to ask after staying there. Today, I was reluctant but asked him if I could come back over and he hesitated a little bit and then hit me with the “babe, you know I’m tired, been with my mom and aunt all night…” making it seem like I would keep him up like we normally do when I come over. Additionally, my best friend lost her mom last week and it may be at the hands of her mom’s brother so emotionally, I’m dealing with a lot and he knows that. I told him don’t worry about it and shut the rest of the conversation down because I’m like if you can’t just be there for me rn— because per usual it’s something with his mom or kids — I just don’t really need you around . I only want to be around those who want to be around me with no reservations.
I just feel like I really shouldn’t even have to ask if I can come over — the invitation should have been extended for a few days , until I feel better about the move. I already talked to the apartment management about solutions and relocating but I didn’t even care to go there with him because why should you be privy of this? I realize I am in an unusual season of intense emotions for me and as MUCH as I have been there for him, it’s a shame that reciprocity is never there. This is really just making me realize that he is not meant to be in my life as a romantic partner.
It’s time to give it up, isn’t it?
EDIT: IM SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION Y’ALL BUT THIS MAN IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND 😭😂😂😂 that’s why I just said “my guy” ! He’s over here multiple times a week and I have left him in my home alone when I left for work before he had to be there, LOL. Sorry!!