u/Historical_Jury_8896

39 F Durbanville

So for the past 8 days I've been attempting to make a single friend using reddit, with the only set of criteria being:

You must be around my age 35-49
Guy/girl anyone in between it doesn't bother me
You must live in Cape Town and within 90km from Durbanville
You must be open to a physical meet up (coffee/tea/lunch/hangout/whatever)
No interested in anything causal/hookups and things of that nature

Yes I'm aware that trying to make IRL friends using reddit is unorthodox but I have tried all the Tinders/Bumbles/OKC and similar apps, and they simply net zero genuine results.

More about me:

I'm small, somewhat short 5'5, athletic build.

I have a lot to offer, im loving, sensitive, kind, caring and loyal. I can be terribly shy at first depending, im on the spectrum - high functioning autism (HSP) I prefer being at home, playing games or cooking.
I value genuine authentic people, and I would much rather have 1 genuine, high quality friend, than many superficial connections. I’m an intellectual, and prefer thinkers, brains and intelligence. I love animals.

I can't stand bars, clubs, pubs.

I enjoy:

PC gaming
Livestreaming
Content creation
Filmmaking
Photography
Making games
Making music
Software dev
Movies
Cars (I built a badass ride)
Pokemon
Boardgames

If you strictly meet the above criteria (im inflexible) let's chat?.

So this is my 8th day on reddit, and my 8th day of attempting to make a friend/s using reddit.

The only criteria for friendship being:

- You must be around my age 35-49
- You must live within 90KM of durbanville
- You must be open to a physical meet up (coffee/snack etc)

I must say that I have seen an overwhelmingly positive response to my posts, and my DM's have become inundated.

Sorting through those who match the initial criteria, I have spent the week engaging in conversation to varying degrees with each individual.

Some of you guys are pretty cool.

The demographic has been unsurprising 98-99% male interest and less than 2% female (ladies do better please).

And of the 50+ invites/conversation I’ve had only 1 single individual that has prompted a physical meeting.

Wish me luck, I hope he is cool.

To make an argument for myself I am:

- Sensitive/shy/awkward
- Nerdy as hell
- An intellectual
- I love games/gaming/game dev
- I can recognise valuable people
- I prefer genuine soles
- I'd much rather have 1 really high quality friendship than many superficial ones

My last comment being, I am a terribly broken person, I hate that it has come down to reddit to make friends, I feel ashamed and embarrassed by it and when I think of my partner (passed away) I feel sad and guilty that he can’t be here with us.

I feel sore inside 🥺

PS: I will ask the gentleman's permission if he would like a photo together that we can post here for those curious.

So for the past 7 days I’ve been attempting to make a single friend using reddit, with the only set of criteria being:

- They must be around my age 35-47
- They must live in Cape Town and live within 90km from Durbanville
- They must be open to a physical meet up (coffee/tea/lunch/hangout/whatever) obviously im not interested in hookups/ONS

Yes I’m aware that trying to make IRL friends using reddit is unorthodox but I have tried all the Tinders/Bumbles/OKC and similar apps, and they simply net zero result (unless you are into a sea of perverts and gooners thirsting over you for a ONS).

That being said I have seen mild success here. I have managed to strike up several conversations via DM's but they ultimately fizzle out, with the other party quickly often losing interest because quite frankly they themselves's are mostly uninteresting people with little to offer in terms of conversation or personality.

Am I asking for too much...? Possibly.

I’m terribly shy in person, sensitive, kind, caring and loyal. I prefer being at home, playing games or cooking.

I enjoy:

PC gaming
Livestreaming
Content creation
Filmmaking
Photography
Making games
Making music
Software dev
Movies
Cars (I built a badass ride)
Pokemon
Boardgames

I’m small, somewhat short 5'5, athletic build

If you meet the above criteria and would like to chat, just drop me a DM.

I’ve been living in Cape Town for quite a while yet never managed to successfully find any established, regular groups that meet up for dedicated activities like boardgames etc.

Durbanville games closed down last year, and I think so did battle bunker in tygervally.

Where are all the 30-40something gamers or those without family/friends hanging out?

39 F🌸

Would anyone around my age like to meet up for impromptu coffee or lunch?

I can't promise that I will be bubbly as I've been struggling to come to terms with the death of my best friend, but it would be nice to just sit in the company of another person and hopefully engage in good conversation.

I am kind, softhearted and sensitive. I can be shy at times.

I love PC games and gaming, shooting film and photography, making music, art, and watching movies.

I’m sitting in an empty house (a few months ago my was partner killed) leaving me behind, both my parents are gone (died) and my best friend is also gone.

I have no friends, I have no one to talk to.

I called one of those "hotlines" but nobody picked up, I tried 6-7 times before someone eventually answered, and wow what a crock of nonsense that was. A detached voice deliberately soft spoken trying desperately to relate to my pain, it feels so cold and removed, it doesn't even feel comforting.

She said that there is not much she can do to assist other than remain on the phone with me and asked if I was in "immediate danger" then simply directed me to the nearest governmental institution that could provide counselling, though at a much later date.

I’ve reached out to old acquaintances, community member and even the church and have expressed how I feel, but what I have realised is that no one actually cares.

No one cares about your pain, but after the fact you will hear people say "why didnt she ask for help" "its a shame she was so young"

I can no longer carry on, I won’t see the end of the day because I have lost all hope that things will get better.

39 F

Would anyone around my age like to meet up for impromptu coffee or lunch?

I can't promise much as I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the death of my best friend, but it would be nice to just sit in the company of another person.

39 F (short/tiny) from Durbanville Cape Town looking to make a friend/friends (though I feel that might be asking for too much).

Interests include:

PC gaming

Livestreaming

Filmmaking

photography

Making games

Making music

Software dev

Movies

Cars

Pokemon

Boardgames

To name a few.

I am: creative, sensitive, timid, can be shy at first, highly introverted, spend a lot of time alone and to my own thoughts. I suffer from PTSD and anxiety, I would like to change this.

I feel deeply (most often to my own detriment).

I would like to find someone who shares similar traits, who is spontaneous because life is exceptionally short, who takes charge because I’m lost in life, and who is driven.

Fair warning I am a very broken person having lost my entire family.

Aside from bars, pubs and clubs, where does one meet others especially if they are shy, introverted or suffer from anxiety etc.

I personally can't stand loud, crowded or busy places.

I prefer intimate settings with kind sensitive people who prefer to spend their time thinking or reflecting.

I find that recent internet culture has made people so obnoxious.

What is the nerd culture like in Durbanville?

Any intimate groups for PC gamers, content creators, livestreamers, boardgame, MTG or pokemon TCG enjoyers?

39 F - soft spoken and timid.

Second day on reddit, I made a post yesterday describing how I feel.

39 F Cape Town

I just don’t see the point continuing anymore, I’ve lost my entire family, my decade long partner and most recently my best friend.

My life is marked by profound levels of loss, grief and pain.

I have no one to talk to, to sit with or anyone close, no warmth, not even a hug or someone to come home to.

Im a deeply sensitive person, Ive always been kind to others and care deeply. I love animals and I’ve always focused on fairness.

Why has this happened to me where I can’t have a single person in my life.

I don’t think I can go on like this, I have hours left at the most.

New to reddit, first day here, I have no idea what I’m doing.

F39 - Cape Town - Northen Subs

Short and to the point, 11 months ago my partner was killed, after his loss I spent months alone in my home, without friends, family or anyone for support (family died during covid, no kids) as a result of my partners death I developed severed PTSD, which has caused me to I never want to go out or leave my home.

Since then I’ve struggled with crippling anxiety among other issues.

My partner was my only real friend, he was my comfort person and my sole source of emotional support, we used to do everything together.

I was wondering if anyone would like to be my friend?

I’ve been going through a lot, dealing with heartache, grief, loneliness among other things.

Recently a lot of dark thoughts have entered my mind and I don’t know if I want to be around anymore.

Im proud of how far I’ve gotten but I’m tired and I kinda had enough.

I like PC games, making music, art, livestreaming, shooting film and photography, warhammer, movies, 3D printing

Im very shy but also embarrassed to admit how much I’m struggling.