Sundown symptom?
I'm new here so TIA, and just starting to come to terms with the idea I might need to do something soon and it might not be easy or well received, or even successful. If you want to skip the backstory to the sundown question it's in the last paragraph.
My mom 78 still lives independently and takes care of herself, but we're noticing she's slowing down noticeably, and that things are getting weird. Her reaction times aren't really good enough for things like pickleball anymore (though she's always been very active) and as a puzzle/gaming family she is much slower to catch on now and often seems confused or frustrated at those kinds of things when we do them together now. We figured it's just, like I said "slowing down", but don't know how Slow really counts as cause for concern.
Her biggest fear in life is alzheimer's, as she cared for her own grandmother through it and it was AWFUL, so I know she has a vested interest in denial as well as keeping things from me so I can join her in denial. But as a result I'm not getting anywhere with planning conversations and am getting scared that I won't know when it's time to step in bc I have so little window into her daily life. We talk maybe once a week and see each other maybe once a month.
So my TL:DR Question- twice recently that I've been with her at night, she's heard something and gotten very hung up on it. Once we were on a family trip sharing a bedroom, she woke me up at midnight because she heard someone knock on the hotel door. Idk if anyone actually knocked as I was out cold, but she was FREAKED out about it. I looked through the peephole, reassured her no one could get in... She couldn't let it go so I called the desk and asked them to come patrol the area- even then I don't think she got back to sleep. I honestly don't relate to her fixation, yes it's weird if it happened but... Who cares-? If they were hoping we'd open the door it didn't work so... Crisis averted? 🤷🏻♀️ She could hardly stop talking about it the next day, "i was so scared, what did they want, but what could they WANT, why would they DO that??"
The second time she was waiting for me in my house. She says while she was sitting here she heard the door lock itself (electronic door lock with a motor). I said huh well no reason it would have done that, either it malfunctioned or maybe a kid or someone touched the lock button as they walked by. Crucially, she heard the door *lock* itself, not unlock. Her words. So it's not that she thought someone was breaking in or anything, she just wanted to know why she heard the door lock motor at that random moment. Again, couldn't let it go. I couldn't figure out how to end the topic...I believe you that it happened, I don't have an explanation, it doesn't sound dangerous, I'm not sure what you're looking for here. 🤷🏻♀️ "Well it couldn't have been a person bc the dog would have barked, why would it malfunction at that moment?? Who would be walking by?? Why would they touch the door??" I don't know ma. I don't have any more sentences. What does this mean to you?
So I'm wondering, could she be hallucinating sounds? Could she be starting to sundown intermittently and giving every little sound a sinister explanation? She's always had insomnia and felt pretty tortured by it, so I kind of think that could be fertile ground for a sundown situation... Anyway. Her obsession with these couple of events feels weird to me whether or not she hallucinated the actual sounds, I'm just wondering if that's a family symptom or maybe the fixating is or idk what to think. These feel like odd but ultimately unremarkable little events that turned into major conversations and...the vibes just feel off. TIA for any input/insight! Grateful to have found this group.