u/Historical_Topic_475

Moved here almost 2 years ago, early 30s. I went out pretty much every weekend the first year I was here and made zero friends. I tried volunteering agencies too and maybe I got unlucky but I got very bad vibes from both. I've been going to shows at Humdinger and it mostly skews older which is nice, but no one talks to each other.

I hate to say it, but this place has contributed to me being pretty miserable. I've gone on day trips to LA just to see an artist and made more friends in a single night than the entirety of my time here, still talk to them regularly. Is there something I'm missing or is this the norm here? I like music, hiking, and nerdier things like video games/arcades (tried BA Start, not a lot of people to meet there either).

At this point I've kind of given up and started to apply to jobs to leave this place. I'm getting pretty far in the process on one in Chicago, but I'm expecting the worst and want to prepare myself for sticking it out here at least for another year. Any recommendations or advice? I've never felt so isolated in an area before.

I'm living in the Central Coast of California right now, San Luis Obispo, and it's miserable. I've made zero friends, let alone dated anyone in the past 2 years, and I'm getting sick of it, especially with how expensive it is. There's very little people my age and the few that fit the bill seem very closed off. No joke, I spent my first year going out EVERY weekend to try to make something stick and I accomplished nothing. I genuinely made more friends on day trips to LA or a visit to Chicago, and I still regularly talk to them. This place is a complete dead-end.

I'm looking for cities that make it relatively easy to meet people my age, have a lot of activities that aren't just getting plastered at bars and going on the same 10 hikes, and maybe have some sunlight. I love going to shows and concerts (another reason I hate it here), art museums, nerdy stuff like arcades and D&D, and I value diversity.

I've narrowed down a couple of places that seem like good fits

1. Chicago
2. LA
3. San Diego
4. NYC
5. Philadelphia
6. Raleigh
7. Minneapolis

My first pick is Chicago at the moment. I fell in love with it when I visited, but I work as a Mechanical Engineer and there don't seem to be very many jobs there. Austin, TX and Northern California have a ton of work, but they seem like awful places for me. I could be wrong, though. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I really just want to get out ASAP.

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