u/HmngbrdAnon

Why the extremely passionate hate for this character?
Yes, she was emotionally unavailable to her kids at times, but she was also a good mother in different ways at other times. Like the time she stood up for Silas when Megans dad hit him. Or literally going to JAIL for Shane. Nancy was flawed, but if we’re really honest with ourselves… Who isn’t? No one on this earth is a perfect parent or a perfect person for that matter, no matter how hard they try. We ALL for short somewhere.

Also, throughout the show it’s subtly mentioned that she tried to commit suicide when she was a child. Ran away from home a lot. Had sex with her teacher when she was 14 years old. And that her own mother was an alcoholic and also emotionally unavailable. Those are some traumatic things, and I’m sure they definitely shaped her into the person she became. Sure, it’s our responsibility to do better once we’re adults, but sometimes the experiences people encounter change their brain beyond the point of repair. Underneath it all though, I do believe she meant well and did her best.

Literally since I was little.. kids bullied me, teachers bullied me. When I grew up it was the same at work.. some bullied me, others just excluded me from everything. even my own family has treated me horribly my whole life. lied about me, degraded me, attacked me. when i go in public, the cashiers are rude to me. It’s every one, every where.

I know what it sounds like, “maybe I’m the problem”
but believe me I have asked myself my entire life what I have done to receive this type of behaviour. The truth is, nothing. I’m respectful towards everyone I meet, I have social awareness, and I try my best to be as kind as I can.
It’s not even that people grow to dislike me — because they don’t even get a chance to know me. They dismiss me or reject me before I even open my mouth.

My sister has said it’s because I’m “pretty” and used to model, but I see plenty of beautiful women who are treated with respect so I don’t believe this much hatred is warranted for being “conventionally attractive” and as I mentioned.. It’s been happening since kindergarten.

If you’ve been excluded your entire life, do you know why? How do you deal with it? It’s hard to even find a job because no woman will hire me and it’s usually always them doing the interviews.

I know we’re not called to be of this world, and to focus on God. But it’s a very exhausting way to live when it seems like everyone is out to get me. no matter how much I try or even try to be invisible — people can’t leave me alone (negatively).

Literally since I was little.. kids bullied me, teachers bullied me. When I grew up it was the same at work.. some bullied me, others just excluded me from everything. even my own family has treated me horribly my whole life. lied about me, degraded me, attacked me. when i go in public, the cashiers are rude to me. It’s every one, every where.

I know what it sounds like, “maybe I’m the problem”
but believe me I have asked myself my entire life what I have done to receive this type of behaviour. The truth is, nothing. I’m respectful towards everyone I meet, I have social awareness, and I try my best to be as kind as I can.
It’s not even that people grow to dislike me — because they don’t even get a chance to know me. They dismiss me or reject me before I even open my mouth.

My sister has said it’s because I’m “pretty” and used to model, but I see plenty of beautiful women who are treated with respect so I don’t believe this much hatred is warranted for being “conventionally attractive” and as I mentioned.. It’s been happening since kindergarten.

If you’ve been excluded your entire life, do you know why? How do you deal with it? It’s hard to even find a job because no woman will hire me and it’s usually always them doing the interviews.

I know we’re not called to be of this world, and to focus on God. But it’s a very exhausting way to live when it seems like everyone is out to get me. no matter how much I try or even try to be invisible — people can’t leave me alone (negatively).

My entire extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins — who I was constantly surrounded by) basically bullied me my entire life. They constantly made me feel small, criticised me, even my weight — because I was “too skinny” (I had an eating disorder). And they would make snarky remarks at me whenever they saw me. Now that I’ve gained weight, that’s what they talk about at family functions. This year at Easter, the first thing my uncle pointed out when he saw me was my weight and then he literally said “that’s why you’re wearing loose clothes, to hide your weight gain”. These adult relatives even bad mouthed me and picked fights with me. They were never a safe space for me, nor did they pass down any wisdom to me the way adults should. All I know from them is exclusion and put downs. They never accepted me as real family should. They feel like strangers to me. They also manipulate and lie a lot, it’s part of their character. Basically, I have never received respect from them. Black sheep my entire life. I tried explaining myself over and over again in hopes of being understood, but these people truly are committed to misunderstanding me.

Anyway, this year I am 33 years old and finally decided to go no contact with everyone after a family trip because I can’t handle the injustice any longer. Two members who hurt me sent messages wishing a Happy Easter, which I did not respond to — and now we’re not on speaking terms “because of me”. I know they’re all saying there’s something wrong with me because I’ve cut everybody off, and it does bother me they think that because I know in my heart I really did try with all of them for years and never wanted things to get to this point but I don’t think there is any other way if I want to keep my sanity.

My point is: I know the Bible says we should forgive, but what exactly does that mean and how do we do?
• I thought we grant forgiveness when someone genuinely apologises and makes a change in their behaviour, the same way God forgives us when we REPENT and turn away from our sins. He doesn’t just continue His relationship with us unless we genuinely want to change, right? But I’m confused because a lot of people say we must forgive regardless of not receiving any of that from those who have hurt us and that if we don’t, God won’t forgive us.
• Sometimes I think in time I’ll be able to let my pain go and forgive them over time while still being in no contact, but people also say that true forgiveness is reconciling, which terrifies me because I just don’t feel in my heart that we could ever reconcile because they are just aren’t honest people (unless I continue to let them disrespect me) but I don’t want to hurt God or lose my salvation due to the mistakes of others.

Is reconciliation the only form of true forgiveness?
If anyone could advise me with scripture based advice, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you

My entire extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins — who I was constantly surrounded by) basically bullied me my entire life. They constantly made me feel small, criticised me, even my weight — because I was “too skinny” (I had an eating disorder). And they would make snarky remarks at me whenever they saw me. Now that I’ve gained weight, that’s what they talk about at family functions. This year at Easter, the first thing my uncle pointed out when he saw me was my weight and then he literally said “that’s why you’re wearing loose clothes, to hide your weight gain”. These adult relatives even bad mouthed me and picked fights with me. They were never a safe space for me, nor did they pass down any wisdom to me the way adults should. All I know from them is exclusion and put downs. They never accepted me as real family should. They feel like strangers to me. They also manipulate and lie a lot, it’s part of their character. Basically, I have never received respect from them. Black sheep my entire life. I tried explaining myself over and over again in hopes of being understood, but these people truly are committed to misunderstanding me.

Anyway, this year I am 33 years old and finally decided to go no contact with everyone after a family trip because I can’t handle the injustice any longer. Two members who hurt me sent messages wishing a Happy Easter, which I did not respond to — and now we’re not on speaking terms “because of me”. I know they’re all saying there’s something wrong with me because I’ve cut everybody off, and it does bother me they think that because I know in my heart I really did try with all of them for years and never wanted things to get to this point but I don’t think there is any other way if I want to keep my sanity.

My point is: I know the Bible says we should forgive, but what exactly does that mean and how do we do?
• I thought we grant forgiveness when someone genuinely apologises and makes a change in their behaviour, the same way God forgives us when we REPENT and turn away from our sins. He doesn’t just continue His relationship with us unless we genuinely want to change, right? But I’m confused because a lot of people say we must forgive regardless of not receiving any of that from those who have hurt us and that if we don’t, God won’t forgive us.
• Sometimes I think in time I’ll be able to let my pain go and forgive them over time while still being in no contact, but people also say that true forgiveness is reconciling, which terrifies me because I just don’t feel in my heart that we could ever reconcile because they are just aren’t honest people (unless I continue to let them disrespect me) but I don’t want to hurt God or lose my salvation due to the mistakes of others.

Is reconciliation the only form of true forgiveness?
If anyone could advise me with scripture based advice, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you