It’s been the hardest few weeks without you. Processing everything, trying to feel like me again. I still don’t ever think I’ll fully get that back. I lost a part of myself when I lost you. Did you lose a part of yourself with me too? Everything in my life is changing and I’m scared. The last thing I wanted for us to. You’ve really hurt me, you’ve made me feel worthless and you’ve made me question everything about myself, not because you ever treated me bad because you treated me so well. But how was it so easy for you to give up ? On me? On us? Did you ever really love me in the first place ? I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, I wish you would have loved me enough to fight harder. I know you’re tired, so am I the difference is I wouldn’t have gave up on you. I hope one day you learn that you need to live your life for your own happiness and not other people’s, you deserve to be happy, so stop depriving yourself of it because you want to please other people. I’ll stop calling, I’ll stop messaging even though you’re still the first person I wanna speak to when wake up and when I sleep. It’s so hard to move on from someone you’re still in love with but how can I stay when you don’t see a future with me ? After everything. Sometimes I think death would be easier than feeling like this, its a pain I’ve never felt before even with previous heartbreak, this feels final it feels like grief and it feels like I’ve lost a part of my self truly. I gave you everything, I poured my soul into you all and I will never give someone that much of me again. Instead I’ll hold my head up high and I’ll be sad probably for a while, but I’ll pour that love into myself because I deserve that. Thank you for showing me that healthy love does exist as I never had that growing up, love always had to be earned or transactional. With you it was effortless I just wish we had a kinder ending.
So I’ll open this new chapter of my life with sorrow, loss but also gratitude because I’m so grateful I got the chance to experience us. And if one day you ever realise I am what you truly want and you’re willing to fight for that and never give up on us, a part of me will always be willing to re write our story. I will love you always. A.
u/HomeworkSilly5714
It’s been the hardest few weeks without you. Processing everything, trying to feel like me again. I still don’t ever think I’ll fully get that back. I lost a part of myself when I lost you. Did you lose a part of yourself with me too? Everything in my life is changing and I’m scared. The last thing I wanted for us to. You’ve really hurt me, you’ve made me feel worthless and you’ve made me question everything about myself, not because you ever treated me bad because you treated me so well. But how was it so easy for you to give up ? On me? On us? Did you ever really love me in the first place ? I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for you, I wish you would have loved me enough to fight harder. I know you’re tired, so am I the difference is I wouldn’t have gave up on you. I hope one day you learn that you need to live your life for your own happiness and not other people’s, you deserve to be happy, so stop depriving yourself of it because you want to please other people. I’ll stop calling, I’ll stop messaging even though you’re still the first person I wanna speak to when wake up and when I sleep. It’s so hard to move on from someone you’re still in love with but how can I stay when you don’t see a future with me ? After everything. Sometimes I think death would be easier than feeling like this, its a pain I’ve never felt before even with previous heartbreak, this feels final it feels like grief and it feels like I’ve lost a part of my self truly. I gave you everything, I poured my soul into you all and I will never give someone that much of me again. Instead I’ll hold my head up high and I’ll be sad probably for a while, but I’ll pour that love into myself because I deserve that. Thank you for showing me that healthy love does exist as I never had that growing up, love always had to be earned or transactional. With you it was effortless I just wish we had a kinder ending.
So I’ll open this new chapter of my life with sorrow, loss but also gratitude because I’m so grateful I got the chance to experience us. And if one day you ever realise I am what you truly want and you’re willing to fight for that and never give up on us, a part of me will always be willing to re write our story. I will love you always. A.
How can you be so heartless to me after everything? Did I even mean anything to you? It’s eating me alive I can’t live without you, how can I still want you so much after everything. I hate myself for still loving you after how you’ve made me feel. For still wanting you even though you don’t want me. For still seeing a future when you don’t see one with me. If I could erase every part of you from my memory I would. It would be easier than living with this pain, the pain of knowing you don’t love me and never will the way I love you. The way you’ve hurt me no one has ever hurt me like this before, the way you’ve completely disregarded every part of me and then can just completely ignore me like I don’t exist, while I’m here literally falling apart. I pray one day you feel even just a tiny bit of the way you’ve made me feel. Even though I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy I just want you to know how genuinely hurt I am.