u/Honest-Grass-313

Our wedding is next March. We settled on a venue about 2 months ago, but for various reasons, paperwork has been slow to be finalised. We've signed the contract now, and are just waiting for confirmation of receipt and a deposit invoice. Our venue itself are quite slow with communications (nothing against them at all; they're a tiny team and, having worked in the events/weddings industries myself for 7 years, I know how it be!!) and with my work taking me out of action for several weeks at a time, we are keen to make sure our guests get the necessary notice to book their time off.

Question is, should I wait until things are 100% confirmed with the venue (could still be a few weeks yet!) before sending out our Save the Dates, or is now the right time??

My tics don't look obviously like tics to outsiders. My most common ones are gasps and grunts. People have come to many different conclusions, asking if I'm crying, if I've got hiccups, if I've hurt myself, etc. but a lot of the time, people just look at me funny, and I'm never sure when to explain or not. Often, when I do, they say they hadn't even noticed. Basically, it's really hard to tell if someone is looking at me because they're concerned or if they're doing it subconsciously, but of course, once I mention it, they listen out for it. Either way, it makes me super self-conscious. Do any of you have this struggle too?

My tics began ten years ago. I was 18, just finishing up school, and had a mental breakdown significant enough I had to drop half my studies. Shortly afterwards, I began gasping involuntarily. Just random intakes of breath, several times a day, that I had absolutely no control over. At first, I thought it was an issue with my breathing, but subsequent testing showed everything was normal. I sort of learnt to ignore it. When I finally realised it was a tic, I just got on with it, really.

Over the years, I've developed more tics – neck and shoulder twitches, grunts, and – most recently – one that makes me yelp and flinch like I'm in pain.

I've come to hate it more and more as I've got older. My partner and my colleagues are all very understanding, but it's getting to the point where I'm sometimes crying in frustration at it. And the fact that I don't know anyone else with the same experience has been deeply isolating. I've never undergone any sort of diagnosis, so have no idea if it's Tourette's or not, but I kinda just want to know I'm not alone with this as I'm fed up of going through it on my own.