u/Honest-Rub8517

I admit I played with fire, watched it burn any remaining sense. Undeniably so, I sensed your presence. I memorized almost every detail of you and your delicious intricacies in preparation to devour them whilst alone in bed..

I shouldn’t have. But I watched, waited, even anticipated any form of resolution. There was nothing said, nothing to be done. Nothing could ever fix the conundrum we’d both claim the other created.

Anyone with eyes can see that you’re unhappy. That’s completely understandable, if not relatable, what’s not easy to understand is why? You’ve had the opportunity to make your own choice for the last two decades of your existence. One would have to assume the choices you’ve made were of sound mind and full autonomy, no? Why did my meek existence enact such disastrous depth within?

What invokes your envious nature, of other men, no less? You’re aware you could’ve easily had all of me with a single gesture, I’d be easy like Sunday morning for you, or Monday morning, Tuesday night, Wednesday afternoon, really whenever you wanted… the days don’t matter.

I know nothing was meant to come of this so is it finally safe to move forward? Isn’t that the next stop on our fucked up journey? Can we finally move towards friendship? Receive proper warm greetings instead of our previously stolen gazes. No longer cultivating the depths of our conflicted connection. Wouldn’t you like that? I know I would.

We’d make great friends, we have so much in common, we’ll never have the chance to be lovers so why not settle? You’ve done it once before, I know you can settle for me. If you agree, you know what to say.

I thought giving you those notes would give you clarity about the type of woman I am. You know your circumstances, so do I. I laid everything out for you, regardless of risk. You could choose to walk away..

When are you going to start considering my feelings? You underestimate what I feel.

You have a problem. You can’t stop yourself from being around me, looking for me. I gave you an out, repeatedly, and yet.. here we are back again.

Despite it all, the cycle continues, I’ll never have a moment where I don’t feel your amber eyes on me, will I? I’m afraid of what I feel, you feel.

I thought maybe I’d go on a walk, funny enough I ended up right next to a store near you.

I thought maybe I’d take a little drive, crazy but I ended up at your job, I’m sure it’s all just a funny coincidence.

I thought maybe I’d read, reading your retired work counts as reading, right?

I thought…maybe I have too many thoughts.

The thought of you is starting to consume me.
We could keep whatever we have contained out of safety, but I think we’re both delusional enough to see the potential in what we could be…

Or so I thought.

-B

I thought maybe I’d go on a walk, funny enough I ended up right next to a store by you.

I thought maybe I’d take a little drive, crazy but I ended up near your job, I’m sure it’s all just a funny coincidence.

I thought maybe I’d read, reading your retired work counts as reading, right?

I thought…maybe I have too many thoughts.

The thought of you is starting to consume me.
We could keep whatever we have contained out of safety, but I think we’re both delusional enough to see the potential in what could be…

Or so I thought.

-B