whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i wanna be like them but i feel so awkward girlmodimg and then i go with my stupid hoodie and pants and look like an autistic 12 yo regard i fucking hate summer i wanna be a girl so fuckin bad aaaahhhhhhhhhhh
idek what the hell that was, one moment i was about to sleep the next i was on the floor with syringes and a knife tryina cut it and tripping in and out of sconsciousness till it was morning. at least im fine ig
this is a given in tttt yet this should be fucking universal in every trans person. like how the fuck are there ppl in UK or germany that have been waiting for like 5 years watching their body get raped by itself and theyre just like “ya but diy dangerous doe”. Are they just not dysphoric?? is their discord polycule that good at gaslighting or what. idk why it makes me so angry like my entire life has been a quest to medically transition, id have gotten estrogen from fucking horse piss if it came to dat so i just can’t fathom how these ppl willingly wait
plus the night king here actually feels like an eldritch horror instead of an anime villain
so i was thinking, back in the day after some years of trying multiple times to transition and failing i fell into a multi year long spiral of disassociation where id lose my awareness for like 2-3 months and basically live my life through a tv show or games, and then id become aware again and would start working on improving myself but then after like a month of that id disassociate again, repeat for like 2 million years. glad that shits over
srsly they look fuckin massive because of my elon musk chest and thats after rib biding 24/7 for like a week and a half and it didnt do shit except give me hypoxia
back in september i had to travel so i stopped estroggen for like 26 days, by then mine were kinda coney and small, but ever since then theyve been growing quite a bit despite my overall weight decreasing, now they actually are in the last tranner stage. this is after about 4-5 years of starting hrt