planning to leave, guilt driving me crazy
my partner had borderline personality disorder. they are emotionally abusive, really manipulative, and has been physically abusive on occasion. im planning to leave them after I graduate college and move out permanently (couldn’t before because i have no friends or family near by) and they might be catching on. They regularly make me promise not to leave them, to come back after I go on a road trip and care for my mom after her cancer, and to promise that we’ll be together forever. the guilt of saying these things is so hard even though my therapist tells me that im not a bad person, just in a situation where im not able to be honest with this person because of how they responded in the past. I know im just putting my needs first and that’s good but not feeling guilty for “abandoning them” is so hard. Like I know to stay would even be enabling their inability to care for themselves in a lot of ways and that’s why they feel like they can’t live with out me but they are just so good at making me feel guilty and like im doing the wrong thing