u/Honest_Character_988

I (29F) recently got into an argument with my mom because she says I don't support her and that I crossed a line. By "not supporting her," she means I refused to support her decision to try getting me on GLP-1 medication even though I never asked for it and don't want it.

For context, my relationship with my mom has always revolved around my weight. Since I was around 10 years old, she had me on diets. Growing up, she gave me weight-loss pills, restricted food, and gave me laxatives because she wanted me to lose weight. Looking back now, I feel like I never developed a healthy relationship with food or my body because of it.

The thing is, I wasn't inactive as a kid. I loved being active. I loved walking, swimming, and I played sports. In high school I was around a size 10/12, but in my mom's eyes that was still somehow not good enough. She constantly compared me to thinner friends and would ask me things like, "Don't you want to be beautiful?"

What made everything confusing was that I felt like I could never win. If I was "too fat," I was embarrassing. But if I lost weight and started getting thinner than her, that suddenly became a problem too. I felt like I wasn't allowed to be thinner than her either, because she'd start pushing things that would make me gain weight again. So I grew up feeling like no matter what size I was, I was wrong.

Now I'm an adult and the comments still haven't stopped. Recently she's been pushing me to take GLP-1 medication and telling me that if I lost weight my husband would love me more and I would be "less embarrassing." She's also told me that one day my husband will cheat on me and when that happens she'll be waiting to say, "I told you so."

She says these things like she's trying to help me or give me motherly advice, but after hearing comments like this for most of my life, I don't see it that way. I feel exhausted and worn down.

I finally snapped and said, "You've been on a diet forever and you're still the same size you've always been — never thinner, never fatter, just the same. You come after me and my husband, but you've never been able to keep a man my entire life. Every year someone dumped you and we moved, and now you're lecturing me?"

I know what I said was harsh and personal, and I know it probably hurt her feelings. I don't necessarily feel good about saying it, but I also feel like I reached a breaking point after years of criticism and comments.

Now she's angry and saying I'm disrespectful and unsupportive.

AITA?

Update of things you guyes don't know: Something a lot of people don’t know is that I’ve already tried setting boundaries with my mom multiple times before this.

The first time was when I was 18. I tried creating distance, and she attempted to kill herself.

The second time happened after she signed me up for liposuction without my consent. That was when I decided to cut contact. In response, she told people that I had hit her, called me offensive names, and then followed me when I moved to a different city. She kept searching for me, and when she found me, she wouldn’t leave me alone.

There is so much she has done and tbh I am more afraid of her if she isnt in my life.

2nd Update:
First, I want to thank everyone for the replies, support, and kindness on my last post. Reading your comments helped me feel less alone and gave me the courage to finally say something.

I spoke to my mom about 30 minutes ago and tried to set boundaries with her. It did not go well. She started crying and yelling, saying that I don’t love her. And for the first time in my life, I stood up for myself and said, “No, you don’t love me. I love myself, and this time I’m putting myself first because I have always put you before me.”

She also told me she wished she never had me and called me the worst daughter in the world. Hearing that broke my heart, but it also made me realize how unhealthy this relationship has become.

So from this point forward, we will only be in contact when I feel comfortable with it. I will update her on my life when I choose to. She no longer gets unlimited access to my personal life, my body, or my decisions just because she is my mother.

Right now, I need peace more than I need approval.