u/HoneyTreeFlower

This is somewhat a vent, as I feel really awful when I think about these things. I feel like I'm not HoneyTreeFlower anymore. Now I'm HoneyTreeFlower with ADHD.

I don't doubt the person who had told me I probably have mild ADHD. She's a leading expert and more than qualified and experienced when it comes to ADHD.

But it still doesn't make sense to me. Some parts do, but the very subtle ones. Not the typical things you're told of ADHD, like time blindness, losing things, sensory issues.

I feel utterly fucked up, as I'm left with the rejection sensitivity which means all this time I've felt misunderstood and thought people could treat me better than they do is fake. The problem has always been me, not how the world treats me. And even being sad about it isn't objectively valid, because that's probably an exaggerated feeling as well.

In other words, I am really just a flawed person who probably shouldn't have happened in the first place. I'm literally underdeveloped.

I feel so miserable. I get through the day by not thinking about it. Every time I remember, I remember how fucked up I am. And no amount of positive thinking can change that. A car with an engine piece that makes the engine run incorrectly isn't a functional car. You can't say it works, there's something wrong with it and it needs to be addressed.

I don't even know how to talk to my therapist about this, because what's the point? I'll still have ADHD, still be fucked up. Before I could hope that maybe there isn't anything wrong with me but now I know there is. I am different and weird and fucked up.

I feel like giving up therapy. What's the point anymore? I'm not fixable.

I've been told I don't need stimulants. I did well in university, parts of high-school as well. I don't lose things. 32F. Found out three months ago. I wouldn't have thought this about myself.

I have a really good therapist after a long time and things have been going really well. Almost too well. She's ridiculously nice to me, it's overwhelming. And she's very insightful.

But I also have been feeling, with a lot of the direction our conversation goes in, that I am the problem in the world. Like, she's wants me to see others perspectives, which I do but it's also tiring because I wish others would see my perspective for once but I'm always the one doing it.

But even that complaint makes me feel like the problem isn't the world or how the world or people treat me. The problem is how I feel about it. So essentially, I am the problem. And I then feel, why am I even doing therapy because how can anything get better when I'm the problem?

My therapist is always telling me my emotions are valid, when I share things I feel and things but I'm not convinced they are. Not every emotion is valid. And my feelings are obviously meaningless, because I'm the problem. Why should the problem's feelings matter in any way?

And the fact I'm sad about this is also part of/a symptom of the same problem! Like, I don't even have the right to feel sad. It's a construct of my own head. I can express it but it's not real.

I hope this makes sense. I've been struggling to pinpoint my thoughts and I'm just writing that's coming to me now.

Hello. I had a horrific experience with Emirates. The long and short is they booked me on a connection to Dubai that hasn't flown since March. The tickets were booked in May. Essentially, they booked me on a flight that didn't exist!

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Luckily, I realised when I was checking my flight status the day of the flight and then I spent several hours on the phone trying to get a new flight, so I make my 2+ connections from Dubai onwards. Most of the staff gave me the wrong advice, which wasted my time and it's only because I was extremely persistant and refused to take their illogical advice as final that I made my flights. But I had to pay more to change fares and book new flights. It was ridiculous.

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There's way more, but this is the crux. I need a refund for the extra leg room I booked and lost because I had to change fares, plus the flight that was cancelled, and the extra I had to pay. Plus, I'm aiming compensation for all I went through in this process, including a poor flight experience.

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Does anyone have tips on how to go about this? I'm mindful big corps can give you a runaround with complaints. Currently, I'm still on my trip. It's a long one and my way back got impacted too, so I want to sort it out now, before booking my new flight home.

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Thank you!

Hello I'm keen to delete my account but I know all my text is still out there.

Is there a tool I can use to delete my chats, posts and comments?

I'm fine if my posts remain but generally do want to scrub my chats.

Any tips super appreciated.