u/HoobMcDoob

Hey guys, need to Lexapro here. After 5 years of managing my OCD and anxiety, I finally decided that enough was enough. I decided to get on Lexapro and the first 5 days were amazing. I really felt like my old self, minus being a bit more hungry.

Fast forward to today, and I've been awake literally all night. Had to call off work because I've been awake all night ruminating about whether or not to continue Lexapro or quit while I still can. I feel so ashamed for doing so, and I honestly feel more hopeless than I have in quite a while. I keep telling myself that I can do natural things to cure my OCD, but anytime I'm faced with hardship, it just comes back with a vengeance. I just don't know what to do. I really don't want to gain weight or feel like a zombie. But I also need to get better, both for myself, my family, and my job.

Since 2021 I've had terrible OCD and anxiety. Through therapy and my own sheer will, I've been able to get through a lot of things and have greatly lessened my anxiety. However, my mental OCD is another issue. I struggle a lot with decision making, and I spend a lot of time in my head trying to decide things.

Due to additional stress at my job lately, my OCD has gotten worse, leading me into depression and anger. I am not an angry person, so this certainly was a wake up call, and I decided to finally take the plunge and get on meds.

I've been on Lexapro for 5 days now. Other than me being a bit more hungry, I haven't had any other side effects. In fact, I've been able to think clearer, and I believe I've become more like my old self.

That is, until last night where I couldn't get any sleep, and instead chose to ruminate about whether or not I wanted to stay on Lexapro, and why I just need to get off of it soon before I become dependent on it, or it makes me gain a ton of weight. My OCD keeps telling me that Lexapro will make me a fake version of myself and that I need to keep trying other methods to manage my OCD.

I really don't know what to do, and I'm so tired of living like this. I dont remember feeling this miserable in quite a long time, basically since I first dealt with my first panic attacks. But it feels like my OCD doesn't want me to change and wants everything to stay the same, making me miserable. I can exercise, stop caffeine, and get enough sleep and it will never be enough. I really need some encouragement right now.​​