My Bipolar mum triggers my anxiety and guilt
I 36F was raised by a bipolar mum and an alcoholic dad (he was never present and they eventually got a divorce when i was 12) . She was diagnosed late by her 50s but before that we lived in hell, if she is not bed depressed, she would be dramatic and fighting with her family … i was the docile daughter her confident and i learned to make myself small to avoid the tornados… now i struggles with generalized anxiety, constant guilt when i try to put boundaries, she manipulates me by lying about her health ( as i live in another city) she is always faking that she nearly died ( she plays on my traumas as my dad died and i never really got over it) or she threatens to kill herself … i have been in therapy for 6 years now and my anxiety is a little bit better but when she says or does something my anxiety hits the roof.
Now the problem is that she is 70 and heavily medicated and when the doc try to decrease the dosage she refuses which affects her cognitive abilities and causes confusion and she lives alone . Im torn between i need to put boundaries to protect myself and my family to live a happy and healthy life and btw my head saying that she doesn’t have someone else and im responsible for her and that she needs me …. Anyone in a similar situation ? And have you managed to live without the psychological control?