u/HopefulSky3469

I’ve stayed quiet for a long time trying to protect someone I cared about deeply, but I’m honestly exhausted mentally and emotionally.

For 6 months I’ve dealt with constant cheating, lies, accusations, phone checking, being told I’m talking to people when I’m not, and being made to feel like I’m the problem for simply asking for loyalty and respect. I’ve repeatedly expressed my boundaries and even walked away before, yet every time I get promised change, reassurance, love, and honesty only to find out the same behaviour is still happening behind my back.

There has been one particular girl involved who knew he was in a relationship and still continued communicating and getting with him anyway. After months of feeling hurt, overwhelmed and pushed to my limit, I approached her and things escalated into a physical fight between me and her. I’m not proud of it at all. I had never been in a fight before and afterwards I felt ashamed and disappointed in myself for even letting things get to that point.

What hurts the most is that after everything that happened, after seeing how broken down and depressed I became, after that entire situation, I genuinely believed things would finally stop between them because suddenly I was being supported, reassured and told everything I wanted to hear. Instead, I found out they were still communicating and seeing each other.

When I confronted him about it, I was told people were “just talking shit” and that the person I got information from wasn’t reliable. The truth is I found the messages myself by checking his phone.

I’m not perfect and I’m not proud of reacting emotionally after being pushed to my limit, but asking someone not to cheat on you or disrespect your relationship does not make you toxic.

At this point I’m just hurt, disappointed, and mentally drained from being lied to while trying so hard to hold onto someone I genuinely cared about.

I’ve been with my partner for 6 months and I think I may be stuck in a trauma bond, but I honestly don’t know anymore. I feel confused, depressed, anxious, and like I’m losing perspective.

Throughout the relationship he has continually lied to me and cheated on me. He can also be very controlling. One example was him getting upset because I got into the front seat of my Uber while he watched me from the window.

He also constantly tells me that he has my location and knows where I am, but honestly I think he says it to scare or intimidate me because I don’t actually think he has my tracking location. Still, it makes me feel anxious and monitored.

Recently we got a hotel together. I left in the morning to run errands and while I was out he kept calling and asking when I’d be back. His behaviour felt really shifty. When I came back, I noticed a woman’s clothing tag sitting on the kitchen bench and my heart completely sank.

I confronted him and instead of reassuring me or talking calmly, he started shouting, throwing things, and telling me he was “over it.” I later looked through his phone and saw messages between him and another woman where he told her not to come yet because “my missus hasn’t left yet,” and then another message saying “wait, don’t get out of the car, wait "

What messes with my head is that he lies so confidently that I start questioning myself. There are also times he’s incredibly charming, affectionate, tells me he loves me, acts caring, and makes me feel wanted. Then things swing back the other way again. I think that’s part of why I feel so attached even though I’m hurting so badly.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I'm concerned with how depressed I'm starting to feel.

I’ve been with my partner for 6 months and I think I may be stuck in a trauma bond, but I honestly don’t know anymore. I feel confused, depressed, anxious, and like I’m losing perspective.

Throughout the relationship he has continually lied to me and cheated on me. He can also be very controlling. One example was him getting upset because I got into the front seat of my Uber while he watched me from the window.

He also constantly tells me that he has my location and knows where I am, but honestly I think he says it to scare or intimidate me because I don’t actually think he has my tracking location. Still, it makes me feel anxious and monitored.

Recently we got a hotel together. I left in the morning to run errands and while I was out he kept calling and asking when I’d be back. His behaviour felt really shifty. When I came back, I noticed a woman’s clothing tag sitting on the kitchen bench and my heart completely sank.

I confronted him and instead of reassuring me or talking calmly, he started shouting, throwing things, and telling me he was “over it.” I later looked through his phone and saw messages between him and another woman where he told her not to come yet because “my missus hasn’t left yet,” and then another message saying “wait, don’t get out of the car.”

What messes with my head is that he lies so confidently that I start questioning myself. There are also times he’s incredibly charming, affectionate, tells me he loves me, acts caring, and makes me feel wanted. Then things swing back the other way again. I think that’s part of why I feel so attached even though I’m hurting so badly.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need someone outside of the situation to tell me if this relationship sounds unhealthy, because I feel emotionally exhausted and stuck.