u/Hopeful_Contact7987

Recently, I made a post about how much I loved the movie, but now some days have passed, and the butterflies I got from watching it are dying down, and I'm ready to criticise it just a bit. Would love to hear your perspectives.

To start, I've always had a problem with how servant quarters' are designed. People who are well-off build this mansion for themselves and then the servant/maid (I hate these terms so) gets to live in a toilet-sized space, which of course they themselves don't mind because that's just how things are.

With Sir, I observed the same thing. Ratna was sleeping on a ridiculously small bed, in just as ridiculously small a room, while the house had different spacious rooms. Of course, Ashwin's mother, her employer, arranged it to be that way. Side note: Isn't it interesting that such an apartment would be designed that way. You know the construction team works on everything but completely overlooks the housekeeper's room? It's almost like domestic helpers are invisible! Anyway, back to my point, much as the mother had the say in that, Ashwin was the only one who lived there. It was his house. He could switch that arrangement up if he wanted. But maybe that wasn't on his mind or a priority for him with all his life changes like moving back from America, being cheated on, not fulfilling his writing dreams with his half a novel, etc, which again just goes on to prove that helps are not people to be considered. If it was his friend, there's no way they would be sleeping in such a space. Everything would be arranged for the friend to feel very much at home. So, why should it be different for the servant, whom without, that home wouldn't really be a home. They do everything to make the space habitable and comfortable. Sure, that's their job, but is it so hard to house them with dignity as well? But that's just how servant rooms have been for the longest, so who is he to go ahead and challenge that when it's so commonplace that it's not even something people think about?

Still, I find myself wondering, at some point as the dynamic with her was slowly changing, because of his growing feelings toward her, shouldn't it have crossed his mind that such arrangements, such unsaid subtle class structures, insignificant as they may seem, are the reason they can't even think of being together; the reason she was wary of it going further than it had? Shouldn't he have been so bothered by it, that he exalted her by disrupting that arrangement? He had been in her room, two or three times, probably more during the duration of the story. So it was something he observed and was okay with. ''But sis, he got her a sewing machine, and a book or magazine all designers read, and he noticed when she was down and asked her about it, and he was just so nice to her, and he contributed towards her sister's wedding, and he called her to check up on her, and he asked how her sister's husband was because he knew it bothered her, and he let her do things outside of her job description like activities meant to fulfil her designer dreams, and he recommended her to a designer. So, you can't disqualify him because of this one thing!'' Okay, all fair points. I don't even know where I was going with this. I should probably stop right here because Ashwin is perfect, and he could do nothing wrong. But I'll still forge on with my attempt to highlight this concern. 

One scene that makes me think he just didn't use his power enough was when he asks her if she doesn't feel anything for eating on the floor after serving everyone. Dude??? Perhaps we can also phrase it this way, "Don't you feel a type of way for sleeping in this cramped up room???" Or even better, "Don't you feel awkward having to come into my room when I'm not here to check the drape of your fabric, because your room is so small, we couldn't fit a full-body mirror in there, plus we don't think you need one. F#ck! Tell me how you feel." Do you see how ridiculous that is? That's just an unwritten social norm, so what an insensitive question to be asking. Also, if you're so concerned about her eating on the kitchen floor, maybe don't let her eat in the kitchen at your OWN house. If she eats in the kitchen at your house, she'll have to humble herself even more at someone else's house, and eat on the kitchen floor. Don't you see it? He cannot talk about not seeing her as a servant, meanwhile he's been unaware of the implications of letting her stay in that room. Ashwin needs to examine that. He needs to understand her plight first, before pursuing her. The first step is acknowledging that, though unintentionally, he did slightly contribute to the whole class division thing by allowing that room situation to go on longer than it should have. The change starts with you Mr. Ashwin!

Now that I'm at the end of this, I realise I wasn't trying to fault Ashwin for not getting that one thing right. I was just picking up on the small things Ashwin would specifically have to do or notice, if they are to have a romantic relationship that works for both of them. Ashwin would need to use his status, power, and influence to exalt her in small ways that affirm her dignity. If they ever start dating, she doesn't need to be taken on dates at fancy restaurants, she just needs him to reassure her that she is enough right where she's at in life, in tiny ways. It's not being 'polished' or achieving her designer dreams that will make her so. She needs to be loved in her present state.

P.S., I do understand Ashwin was just treading lightly with her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Plus he's also just an awkward guy. And no one is perfect anyway.

https://preview.redd.it/r2fcu7vgmy0h1.jpg?width=475&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b5fc9c56d5886477fd53e40b13b097fa23140f8

Recently, I made a post about how much I loved the movie, but now some days have passed, and the butterflies I got from watching it are dying down, and I'm ready to criticise it just a bit. Would love to hear your perspectives.

To start, I've always had a problem with how servant quarters' are designed. People who are well-off build this mansion for themselves and then the servant/maid (I hate these terms so) gets to live in a toilet-sized space, which of course they themselves don't mind because that's just how things are.

With Sir, I observed the same thing. Ratna was sleeping on a ridiculously small bed, in just as ridiculously small a room, while the house had different spacious rooms. Of course, Ashwin's mother, her employer, arranged it to be that way. Side note: Isn't it interesting that such an apartment would be designed that way. You know the construction team works on everything but completely overlooks the housekeeper's room? It's almost like domestic helpers are invisible! Anyway, back to my point, much as the mother had the say in that, Ashwin was the only one who lived there. It was his house. He could switch that arrangement up if he wanted. But maybe that wasn't on his mind or a priority for him with all his life changes like moving back from America, being cheated on, not fulfilling his writing dreams with his half a novel, etc, which again just goes on to prove that helps are not people to be considered. If it was his friend, there's no way they would be sleeping in such a space. Everything would be arranged for the friend to feel very much at home. So, why should it be different for the servant, whom without, that home wouldn't really be a home. They do everything to make the space habitable and comfortable. Sure, that's their job, but is it so hard to house them with dignity as well? But that's just how servant rooms have been for the longest, so who is he to go ahead and challenge that when it's so commonplace that it's not even something people think about?

Still, I find myself wondering, at some point as the dynamic with her was slowly changing, because of his growing feelings toward her, shouldn't it have crossed his mind that such arrangements, such unsaid subtle class structures, insignificant as they may seem, are the reason they can't even think of being together; the reason she was wary of it going further than it had? Shouldn't he have been so bothered by it, that he exalted her by disrupting that arrangement? He had been in her room, two or three times, probably more during the duration of the story. So it was something he observed and was okay with. ''But sis, he got her a sewing machine, and a book or magazine all designers read, and he noticed when she was down and asked her about it, and he was just so nice to her, and he contributed towards her sister's wedding, and he called her to check up on her, and he asked how her sister's husband was because he knew it bothered her, and he let her do things outside of her job description like activities meant to fulfil her designer dreams, and he recommended her to a designer. So, you can't disqualify him because of this one thing!'' Okay, all fair points. I don't even know where I was going with this. I should probably stop right here because Ashwin is perfect, and he could do nothing wrong. But I'll still forge on with my attempt to highlight this concern. 

One scene that makes me think he just didn't use his power enough was when he asks her if she doesn't feel anything for eating on the floor after serving everyone. Dude??? Perhaps we can also phrase it this way, "Don't you feel a type of way for sleeping in this cramped up room???" Or even better, "Don't you feel awkward having to come into my room when I'm not here to check the drape of your fabric, because your room is so small, we couldn't fit a full-body mirror in there, plus we don't think you need one. F#ck! Tell me how you feel." Do you see how ridiculous that is? That's just an unwritten social norm, so what an insensitive question to be asking. Also, if you're so concerned about her eating on the kitchen floor, maybe don't let her eat in the kitchen at your OWN house. If she eats in the kitchen at your house, she'll have to humble herself even more at someone else's house, and eat on the kitchen floor. Don't you see it? He cannot talk about not seeing her as a servant, meanwhile he's been unaware of the implications of letting her stay in that room. Ashwin needs to examine that. He needs to understand her plight first, before pursuing her. The first step is acknowledging that, though unintentionally, he did slightly contribute to the whole class division thing by allowing that room situation to go on longer than it should have. The change starts with you Mr. Ashwin!

Now that I'm at the end of this, I realise I wasn't trying to fault Ashwin for not getting that one thing right. I was just picking up on the small things Ashwin would specifically have to do or notice, if they are to have a romantic relationship that works for both of them. Ashwin would need to use his status, power, and influence to exalt her in small ways that affirm her dignity. If they ever start dating, she doesn't need to be taken on dates at fancy restaurants, she just needs him to reassure her that she is enough right where she's at in life, in tiny ways. It's not being 'polished' or achieving her designer dreams that will make her so. She needs to be loved in her present state.

P.S., I do understand Ashwin was just treading lightly with her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Plus he's also just an awkward guy. And no one is perfect anyway.

I finally watched this and I found myself wishing Tita chose John. He was such a sweetheart and exactly what Tita described his aura to be: calm. I never liked Pedro from the start. His love for her just seemed obsessive and I really don't think he did much to get her. Not buying the I married your sister to be near you. Also, Pedro seems to have pretty much settled in with Rosaura. Anyway, maybe Pedro did all he could but I just felt that John was the better match for her. Perhaps it has to do with where I am in my life. As I grow older, I find myself desiring a steady peaceful love like John's rather than the crazy intoxicating love from Pedro that just brings in drama. I don't want to be drunk in love. I want to be grounded in love.

Also, there's this point she mentioned that she is kind of in love with both of them. And a scene appeared on the screen with the three of them and idk I wondered whether the plot twist would be her choosing both lol. Was it just me?😭 But come to think of it, I should have known that they would probably not take that direction considering it's just Tita and Pedro on the poster.

I finally watched Sir (2018) since I only saw positive reviews about it and ahhhhhh the yearning!!!! The gentleness, the quiet introspection and contemplation of their feelings!! Also the kissing scene was just so beautiful. Butterflies all over. Oh if only they could make a pt 2. There's so much more to their story. I guess I'll just have to continue it for myself in my head.

Hi guys,

I just got into African 'world music' and I'm really enjoying it. I'd like recommendations for more albums to check out. So far I've listened to:

Welela- Miriam Makeba

Expensive Shit- Fela Kuti

Miriam Makeba- Miriam Makeba

Talking Timbuktu- Ali Farka Toure

Water from an Ancient Well- Abdullah Ibrahim

As you can see I lean towards that jazzy, funky, soulful, blues sound, so please try keep your suggestions within that if possible. :)

I've saved a couple more in my library to check out but I'd still like more suggestions so I have a comprehensive list. I'd really like to diversify my list as much as possible. Thanks!