u/Hopeful_Exercise_813

I’ve talked with a couple people about this. Like there’s no rhyme or reason to the traffic flows or timing. I felt last week like things were more chill than usual, and there wasn’t a ton of traffic when I was driving around, or people were just driving more chill, and then the past few days it’s felt like people are driving so aggressively everywhere I’m going and there’s so much more traffic at random times of the day. I try so hard to plan my day around hours that aren’t typical rushes but it doesn’t matter much some days. I just wish people who don’t work jobs that need to be remote would go back into offices so those of us with service jobs and weird work hours could run our errands in peace, literally seems like no one is ever at work these days

I worked at Vigilant Hope Roasting, a coffee shop owned by the Christian nonprofit Vigilant Hope, for about six months. You’d expect a Christian organization to lead with compassion and integrity, but that wasn’t my experience.
I was terminated because management claimed my customer service was lacking and that I wasn’t sharing the workload with coworkers. They said this was based on “anonymous reports.” Several of my coworkers were shocked by the decision, and one even cried with me after I was fired. The way my manager and HR handled my termination felt unusually cold and severe, as though I had committed some serious misconduct.
I later found out who made the reports because one of the coworkers involved admitted it to me. She apologized and said she never expected it would cost me my job. Ironically, both coworkers who reported me were people I had previously spoken to directly about not pulling their weight. I chose to address concerns with them face-to-face rather than go to management, and I believed we’d resolved things. Apparently, that wasn’t the case.
My manager was rarely in the café because of her nonprofit responsibilities, so she relied on those reports instead of giving meaningful consideration to my side of the story. When I explained that I had actually been feeling unsupported and had addressed those concerns directly with coworkers, my concerns were dismissed. She defended my coworkers, but scrutinized me. Customer service and work ethic are things I genuinely take pride in, and the regular customers who knew me would likely tell you the same.
About a month later, the organization cut everyone’s hours due to financial issues. They described the cuts as “equitable,” applying them equally to everyone regardless of circumstance. Even some of my coworkers (who worked part time or less) questioned that decision and voluntarily gave up shifts so the full-time employees could work more. Feeling unheard by my manager, I (now think foolishly) spoke with the executive director. The meeting included HR and felt defensive from the start. I was told the decision wouldn’t change and was offered information about applying for government assistance instead.
Two days later, I was fired.
The explanation was that I hadn’t improved the behaviors described in the anonymous complaints. That was especially confusing because only about a week and a half earlier, my manager had complimented how hard I was working, told me she was proud of me, and said her earlier feedback was simply minor coaching. During the termination meeting, when I tried to respond, HR cut me off and told me to stop talking.
I’m not claiming I was a perfect employee. Everyone has off days. But I was never a slacker. I worked hard, built strong relationships with customers, rarely missed work, and never took extended time off while others did. From my perspective, I was pushed out because of false accusations and interpersonal conflicts that management accepted without fairly investigating. My experience did not reflect the compassion, fairness, or accountability the organization publicly represents.

Please give me some perspective if you think I’m missing something for thinking this is so unfair.
I was hired with another girl for a full time position at this coffee shop 6 months ago. They were opening a new location and so we were hired to work both the original and new location. The new location hasn’t performed the way they hoped and assumed, so they’re cutting hours. And since we were hired last, we’re being affected the most.

When we were hired, we were the two most full time employees, working 35-40 hrs/week. One coworker was a nanny and only worked ~ 2 days a week (lives at home with parents). Another is married & is a photographer so he only works a couple days a week and then takes off weeks often. Another was in college and worked part time and has taken off the entire summer to go on a trip. And the last coworker is close to full-time. The coworker who was a nanny lost her nanny job & so now she’s requested full time hours & she’s given them because our manager is one of her best friends. The photographer guy asked for more hours for a couple weeks recently and she took hours from us to do that for him.

I hate working for managers who aren’t objective or fair. She hired us guaranteeing full time hours, and she could continue to give us those hours if she let go of the employee who works 2 days a week, has dual income, has a career on the side, and regularly takes off weeks of work. She could also give us those hours if she told the girl who was a nanny, “sorry but you told me you only could work part time, and I hired full time employees, so you cannot have those hours.” But because they’re best friends, that will not happen.

I feel so angry, it’s just so unfair and now me and my coworker have 3 weeks to find new jobs so that we can pay rent in August. In my town, service jobs are very competitive so they’re not easy to come by, forget about me finding another barista job. It took me so long to find this one and this just sucks so bad.

My job just told me today that starting July they can only give me 25/wk, I obviously cannot afford to pay rent and live off of that. Definitely sucks considering we have part time employees that are protected because of seniority when they could be let go so that the full time employees get those hours. Feeling very stressed out because before I got this job 6 months ago, I was stuck at a horrible job for over a year because I couldn’t find anything else. It’s not easy to find good, well-paying service industry jobs here anymore 😔. Really didn’t want to have to do this again, so I appreciate anything you guys know about. Maybe private message me so someone else doesn’t try to beat me to it! 🙏🏼

Turns out I just needed to get on some medication for anxiety and depression.
And it’s made me realize how much less of all of this insanity going on in the world would be if more people either changed their lives so they weren’t miserable or got on medication for depression/anxiety. I personally never wanted to get on medication, I thought I could manage my mental health without it, but it got so bad the past couple years and my main concern going into therapy was my road rage. I knew it was out of proportion to reality and it had to be my mental health. I don’t want to be on meds forever, I’ve just been in a rough patch due to circumstances I can’t change right now but eventually will be able to, but I’m glad that I’m no longer putting myself and others in danger because I was not mentally stable. I don’t get agitated and impatient when I’m driving anymore, at least not to the degree that made me road rage before. I may still mutter in the comfort of my vehicle “great move dickhead” but I won’t tailgate or react aggressively like I used to. I’m not speeding or driving recklessly.

Hopefully others will potentially be inspired by my experience. I’m not a pill pusher by ANY means, but I’ve learned recently that it is a useful and impactful tool to gain back some control over your emotions and your life. If not for yourself, for the safety of those around you.

So I live in a “city” that has become a zoom town since the pandemic. I put city in quotations because I would never have called this place a city before 2020-2026. It’s always been a chill college town with a summer tourist season that was noticeable but never anything crazy. Our cost of living has gotten so high and it’s rush hour all day. It’s always peak hours at the grocery store. I can never leave my house anymore and feel calm, it’s so overstimulating and overcrowded. And the cost of living increase sucks but honestly it’s the crowded-ness I hate the most. If I wanted to live in a city I would have, but I liked living here because it was chill and there wasn’t a lot going on.

When I talk about this with people from different places they go, “yeah it’s happening everywhere.” I’ve seen people on Reddit as well say it’s happening in pretty much one or two towns in every state. People are leaving expensive states/cities and moving to places that are cheaper, which then makes those places expensive. It doesn’t seem sustainable at all to me and I’m of the opinion that the dramatic increase in jobs going remote is a factor. If people with high incomes can move anywhere, there will not be sanctuaries for people with low incomes. The cost of living will be high everywhere to reflect the high income earners. Basically we will have to choose between a super rural small town (which isn’t realistic for people who aren’t set financially, people who need jobs, people who don’t want to be dirt poor to live in a small town), a crowded and expensive medium sized town, or a big city. Where will the working class people who want to live simple working class lives go?

From my view it seems grim but I don’t know the economics or realities of all that’s happening right now. All I know is I don’t want to live on top of other people my whole life, I just want to live a simple life with some open space and enough money to support myself comfortably. Will that be possible or are we all going to be forced to live in crowded places like this?

Local here. I seriously have never lived somewhere where the driving is like Wilmington (post pandemic) and I’ve left and moved around the country a lot. It’s not as simple as “it’s the northerners” because I have family in Virginia and whenever I visit them the driving is so different.
They deal with a lot of aggressive drivers but most of the time when you’re driving around there it’s not like people are constantly zipping across traffic without blinkers on or pulling out in front of you within a cars length of distance, etc. I feel like I have to be so hyper-vigilant driving here because people are just so impatient. I was in a roundabout earlier and this lady came flying up out of nowhere and just full sent into the roundabout, like maam there’s a yield sign???? I’m actively driving through the roundabout right now???? Yeah i guess I’ll just slam on my brakes, you got it!!
It’s just the combination of entitlement, lack of consideration for others, and the recklessness that I don’t get.
And I know people will comment about the people who drive under the speed limit - trust me I agree that’s really common and annoying here, but I do think it’s a reaction to the increase in reckless driving. My mom drives so slow because she’s scared and feels like it’s too unpredictable. I just wish there was a solution because it feels very unsafe

Man I miss living in what actually felt like the south. It’s hard to remember clearly sometimes because things have changed so rapidly, but I do remember how everyone would wave at you when you drove into your neighborhood (one time a man pointed a shotgun at me when I drove into his neighborhood off river Rd back in the day 🥶, scary and wrong but authentic Wilmington lol), how people would talk to each other all the time in the grocery store or wherever, how there’d be barely any cars on the road outside of 5-6pm.

My biggest grievance with the northern transplants is the way they expect the south to be like the north. It’s not. It’s more raw & rugged as well as more laid back. I saw a woman recently that had a shirt that said “New York or nowhere”… then why are you here?

You can’t move here and then be neighborhood Karen’s and/or weirdo NPC’s who don’t know how to socialize/be aware of your surroundings/be considerate of other people. Everyone has always known that people in the south are more friendly and community oriented, and that’s still very alive in the Deep South, but it’s becoming rarer here in North Carolina. Because of people who have come here for all the wrong (and self serving) reasons.

At the end of the day, most of the Wilmington locals have left. Most southerners around here have left. Our local government just wants to get rich and loves the growth/development. They don’t care about wilmingtonians. I can’t change that, I just need to move. When my grandma is gone, though I hope that isn’t soon, I will eagerly head off in search of somewhere that still upholds the southern charm & values I grew up with. It’s really depressing to see what this place has become. And if you’re offended I feel this way - sorry, not sorry. Don’t make it personal unless you’re the kind of people I’m talking about, in which case…. Be offended!