u/Horrible-Writer-03

Here’s an excerpt from a script I wrote a few months back. I’ve gotten some interest in this one recently, but I constantly feel insecure about my writing… especially dialogue. Would love some feedback on this excerpt. Are there things I could do to improve the exchange between characters?

Can you guys give me an honest opinion on this opening? I changed it from my original draft after receiving coverage on the script and I wanna make sure I’m heading in the right direction. This is the first script I’ve gotten some genuine traction on, so I’d really appreciate the input. Thanks in advance!