u/Horror_Lavishness_40

I believe that men with bigger penises tend to like girls with prosperous features more.
not saying that only guys with big dicks like thick girls but it’s a taste that i think men with bigger penises have.
Maybe it’s because it’s physically easier/more comfortable to have sex with a woman with a big ass when having a larger penis.

This theory is also partially confirmed by my past experience: my whole life i’ve liked slim girls with big asses while having a 8 inch cock and their past partners all had very big sizes (like mine or slightly smaller) and two girls had been with someone with a penis even bigger than mine.
what do you guys think?

I’m Italian (mediterranean archetype) HTN (high dimorphism), 6 feet tall (182cm), long limbed with slim joints and relatively big muscles giving me an aesthetically pleasing look even while not having an exaggerated muscular volume, great academic results, amateur boxer, future oriented; have a girlfriend [21F] who is also high value and reflects many of the characteristics i have (physically active, good academic achievements etc.)

We’ve not been officially together for a long time (1 month officially) and known each other for 3 months, but i always have intrusive thoughts suggesting specific types of behavior that tend to sabotage our relationship.

What do i mean by this; I subconsciously try to attribute negative ideas of her or ideas that can generally lead to her being seen as not as good as a person (for example on things about her past or bodycount or basically anything i don’t have control on).

I don’t know why I try to find reasons that suggest us not being compatible.
I am starting to feel like under this facade, I’m actually insecure about something but i can’t individuate what specifically makes me fell this way.

for example i am extremely uncomfortable when it comes to bodycount, hers is 2 + 1 only foreplay; but the idea she has had someone before me makes me sick to my stomach, which i recognize is extremely hypocritical considering my bodycount is 10 excluded girls I exclusively did foreplay with.
I just can’t fathom the idea of her having someone do that to her as if it takes her purity away (I’m not religious).
I also feel insecure thinking about their penis size and how big they could’ve been, even though mine is roughly 8 inches (20,4 cm).

When she tells past stories that she finds funny I realize I’m looking for the smallest discrepancy or slightest hint of her giving attention to another man, putting myself in a position where I’m disgusted to the thought of it even if she actually was not even close to doing something i might imagine or be scared of.
I feel like i just can’t wait to find an excuse to leave her even though i know she is perfect for me, and has demonstrated a lot to me and the extent she is willing to go to for things to be right between us.

I don’t know why i feel this way since i feel like i would be superior to anyone in her past, in any case considering she is with me, thus excluding the looks, build, IQ and overall value.

Am I insecure?
why do i do this?