My Best Friend Left Me and I'm just lost now.
Hello! I am currently coming towards the end of my secondary school journey, however, a few years prior I had been introduced to this guy in my year who went to my school. Soon after we had been introduced to one another, he and I became relatively close as friends rather quickly. As we grew closer, we talked more frequently, discovering our shared interests and lifestyles such as us both being only children as well as having being from a similar part of the world. Like most friends, we did a lot together, i.e. going to the local park, playing videogames together and more.
At school, whenever we saw one another we'd happily greet each other and engage in conversation. If I had made something in my Food Technology class that day, I'd give him half of what I had made that day. Likewise, both he and I talked on an almost daily basis on Discord as that was our main form of communication apart from when we were together at school. When we went out together, if I didn't have the money to purchase something from the store, for example, a drink, then he'd offer to pay for me and I in turn would offer to repay him but he'd tell me that I didn't have to. I in turn did the same if I did something for him as that was the relationship we had. He also supported me in going forward with sharing my feelings for another one of my classmates which was a great help. And in many ways, he and I were like brothers. We hadn't had any arguments or conflict at this point, however, we did have a brief disagreement on one of the final days of term in regard to my upset about a particular issue but I apologised very quickly and we returned to how we were.
As time went on, things began to change. The frequency of our (almost) daily conversations began to decrease. At some point, I then sent him message on Discord. As it was a few years ago, I can't remember what the message had been, however I didn't get a response. As I know that people can be busy, I gave it a few days. Eventually, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. I tried to contact him, all to no avail. This was despite his Discord account showing that he was actively online during this period. Eventually, I just unfriended him on Discord as I didn't think he wanted to speak to me anymore.
Similar to our online interactions, our in person interactions also decreased. This came about in the form of him no longer greeting me if we happened to come across one another at school (something we had always done) and he'd similarly stop coming up to me in the area of the playground where I would usually occupy. Perhaps a year later, I had downloaded Snapchat and I friended him there as he had an account. He accepted my request and I made an apology and sent it to him, explaining that if I had done something wrong, then I was genuinely sorry and that I cared about him a lot. He would eventually respond with a curt "oh alright, thank you" and nothing more. At that point, I just gave up. Likewise, at school, if he saw me, he would give me a sort of passive aggressive stare/a stare that is hard to describe but would indicate he may have some sort of issue with me but when I asked him about this, he said he never does this and that he doesn't have an issue with me, however, his actions visibly contradict his statement. In class interactions if we were told to discuss something then he would be completely different but outside of the classroom environment, he would revert to his way post friendship. With this, I just sought to do my best to avoid him where possible but on occasion our eyes would meet.
And finally, on Friday, during my return from the local supermarket, as I walking down my borough's thoroughfare, I happened to spot him and another classmate and they saw me to. And whilst the person he was walking with waved towards me at a distance, he just continued walking along. A
I did/do really care about him and although we got along at the time, I just don't know if he felt the same way to the same extent. I've tried on multiple occasions to ask him if I've done something, with him simply saying no but his change in behaviour just doesn't match his words. I don't know if he genuinely doesn't realise the way our interactions have changed over a short period of time or whether he might be deliberately trying to gaslight me over the things I can visibly see as he just doesn't seem to care anymore and this really did hurt me a lot. I have consulted some of my friends for their opinions with one of those friends suggesting that like me, my former best friend was somewhat reserved and quiet. However, him finding a new group of friends at the time may have contributed to our eventual separation.
What do you think?
*Apologies for any grammatical/spelling errors as my English can be questionable at the best of times.*