Hi everyone,
I am a 33-year-old based in Bengaluru, currently in the final stages of divorce. I was married for about one and a half years, and we have been living separately for the last two years. The legal process is now nearing closure.
I am planning to restart my search for a partner through the arranged marriage route, but this time I want to approach it in a much more thoughtful and aware way. Before I begin, I wanted to get some perspective from people here who may have gone through something similar or have insights to share.
A little about me:
Age: 33
Location: Bengaluru
Education: MBA from a reputed institute in India
Profession: Stable role, earning around 40 LPA
Height: 5’6”
Personality: Ambivert, enjoy meaningful conversations, not into partying
I would describe myself as someone who is fairly mature, grounded, and career-focused. I value a peaceful home environment, prefer spending on experiences over material things, and have a small, close-knit group of friends. I enjoy travelling and generally value stability and growth in life.
Lifestyle-wise, I am a non-smoker and non-drinker. I prefer a healthy lifestyle and am non-vegetarian. I am spiritual in nature, not overly religious, but I do basic pooja regularly.
After what I have been through, I want to build a stable and respectful relationship, and eventually a family.
Where I need advice:
How should I approach conversations early on?
What are the key topics you think should be discussed upfront to avoid surprises later, especially around expectations from marriage, finances, and family roles?
How much of my past should I share, and when?
I want to be honest, but I also do not want the conversation to get defined only by my previous marriage.
Am I being too specific in my expectations?
I am looking for someone between 28 to 35, preferably based in or open to moving to Bengaluru, financially independent, emotionally mature, and someone who values communication and a peaceful home. I also prefer a non-smoker and someone who drinks minimally or not at all.
Does this come across as reasonable, or too restrictive?
Any red flags or green flags I should actively watch for this time?
For those who remarried or restarted the process, what did you do differently the second time that helped?
I am trying to be more intentional this time and avoid mistakes from the past. Any honest advice, even if critical, would really help.
TL;DR: 33M, nearing divorce, planning to restart arranged marriage search. Looking for advice on how to approach conversations, how much to share about the past, whether my expectations are reasonable, and what red or green flags to watch for.