r/JodiMilan

So im 26, im a dentist and stay in pune but am from north india. My parents want me to get married by end of next year and if that wasnt enough, they want it to be with someone of their choice and i aint having that.

So im really hoping i find someone myself and can make them meet him before they suggest someone for me.

Here are a few things about me:

- i love yoga
- i am a scorpio
- i dont smoke but drink just one glass of wine if im going out with friends
- i love romance
- i love reading
- i love knitting
- there is no vegetarian indian dish that i cant cook, and i cook goooood
- i love jogging
- i can do a 10 minute plank
- i am politically left leaning
- i am a home body
- i love my family

What i am looking for:

- taller than 5'9
- is older than me
- has a stable job
- earns more than 15lpa
- loves his family and isnt at odds with them
- is not a political extremist
- is not shy
- has had atleast 2 gfs
- can cook a dish well
- isnt aggressive or no anger issues
- isnt dependent on anyone for his wellbeing
- a planner
- idc about caste or religion
- has a good head full of hair on it

If you guys match my criteria or find me interesting, lets gulugulu

I've been observing something on this subreddit for a while.
The moment someone posts "F26/F28 looking for a genuine connection", her inbox is flooded within hours. Hundreds of DMs, comments, and requests.
But when a guy posts "M26/M28 looking for something genuine", it's often just a handful of comments or complete silence.
I'm not saying women have it easy they probably have the opposite problem. They have to filter through hundreds of messages, many of which aren't genuine.
But as a guy, it can feel equally discouraging because you barely get noticed, even if you've put genuine effort into your post.
It's a strange contrast
Women struggle with too much attention.
Men struggle with too little attention.
Neither side really has it easy; the problems are just different.
For the guys here how do you deal with it? Do you just keep trying and hope one message lands? And for the women, what actually makes a DM stand out enough that you decide to reply?
I'm genuinely curious to hear both perspectives.

If you've scrolled past a dozen of these today and stopped here anyway — give it a minute.

Also, I'm extremely new to Reddit so please bear with me if I'm not doing this the right way.

A few things about me:

I have lived in many places in India from North all the way to the South and West and abroad a bit for education and work. So I feel. Only right to identify myself as Indian 😬

Currently working with a Fintech but willing to relocate. I am used to saying home is wherever I am — but lately I'm warming up to the idea of an actual place, and an actual person to build it with.

A few things that make me, me:

I can travel solo or with strangers, great wedding guest

Trying new things and shifting hobbies is somehow a personality trait. I jam with friends because I'm convinced I have great taste in music — I do.

I have recently deleted Instagram because I feel people need to get more real and stop living for an audience.

Fun in person and also adaptive and open to opinions and perspectives.

Looks- I'm 5'4", slightly chubby and fair skinned.

What I'm looking for:

Dating to marry, long-term. Someone whose voice is calming when my head gets loud. Grounded. Has their own fire but knows how to switch it off and actually be present. Can do inside jokes and silly banter but doesn't disappear when things get real.

Hindu, open to dating across faiths. I drink and smoke socially, eggetarian but no judgment either way on yours.

Preferably no kids, but that's a conversation, not a wall.

If any of this landed instead of bounced — say hi.

Tell me your karaoke song, wrong answers only.

I’ve been lurking around this sub for a while, but finally found the courage to post (thank you, fellow 34F)

About me:

- I’m a nerd at heart, super curious about things, and I love indoors and outdoors equally
- Based in Mumbai, and looking for someone from here, but that’s not a constraint if we click
- I travel when I can, paint when inspiration strikes, write poetry at times and love reading mystery novels
- Financially independent, ambitious, and genuinely enjoy what I do (which is working in finance, but have a great WLB :D)
- Non-vegetarian. I enjoy exploring different cuisines and can cook very well (when I do, that is). I drink socially but don’t smoke
- Want to have pets and kid(s)
- Hindu and looking for the same. Never married
- 5’4”, 58 kgs, General category (if that matters)

What I’m looking for:
- Someone kind, curious, emotionally mature
- Someone who’s always honest, no matter how hard it gets to tell the truth
- Preferably non-vegetarian. Preferably not a smoker
- Someone who values family as well as individuality
- Someone who believes fitness is a priority, without making it their personality

I’m not looking for perfection. Just good companionship and someone seriously looking to marry and build a life together. If you value similar things, let’s connect.

I will tell you the biggest reason why people are not getting married nowadays and find it so difficult to find partners. First of all always remember this

1. Compatibility doesn't equate to happiness. The so-called compatibility among two people has nothing to do with developing charm and attraction amongst each other. The rules of physics don't apply in love and love is without logic. I'm not saying not having is bad on the contrary it is good sometimes. Sometimes the opposites attract sometimes similar attract, something opposites hate each other sometimes similar hate each other. So there is no straight jacket formula in attraction and without attraction a relationship cannot survive. So stop trying to find a compatible person just check your inner vibes, your gut feeling, your instinct etc

2. Too much communication is a relationship killer. If both the partners know almost everything about each other, the element of surprise and novelty is gone. The partners who demand too much involvement without independence finally suffer themselves and make their partner suffer as well. Not everything is needed to be revealed instantly. Let things take their time, what's the use of rushing things.

3. Finally and most importantly why you can't seem to find a good partner (especially for girls to some extent boys as well ) - Suppose you want to buy a car and your budget is 30 lakhs, which is quite decent and comfortable for you. You visit different showrooms everyday - Tata, Mahindra, Hyundai, Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Porsche, GM even contact Ferrari, Konnigseng, Aston Martin etc but you don't like any models they have to offer. Finally the salesman asks, " What are your requirements?". You think for a while and answer:

"I want a car with an

Refined engine of Porsche

Shock absorbers of Ford

Chassis of BMW

Body of a Mercedes

Gearbox of an Audi

Reliability of a Maruti

Mileage of a Hyundai

Service like a Mahindra

Tail lights of a Konnigseng

Bumper of a Ferrari and

Tyres of an Aston Martin"

The salesman looks at you for 6 minutes straight and files for a resignation, leaves, never comes back

Having choices and requirements is good. But for the above description Car you will have to own 11 cars of respective company, (30 lakhs budget won't be sufficient for such high end cars ) dismantle them and somehow try to fuse them into the Car of your requirement. Even that won't be possible because the grooves won't match, the car will never run.

If you would have just walked in and selected a Car for its utility, you won't have to walk in the rains. Sure your Car won't drift like a Porsche or run a drag like a Mustang but atleast it would be reliable, will save you money and won't have to take your car to pit stop every other day for change of tyres and servicing.

So focus on good things a person in front of you is offering you as a partner. No one person can give you everything nor you can give him or her everything like one Car cannot be used in every situation. Focus on positivity and the positivity grows. Focus on lackings and the lackings grows. We all have one life and visiting car showrooms everyday is no fun.

Hi, I'm 35M working as SDE, I'm only writing this post to know whether I still have a chance of finding a life partner as I've faced repeated rejections in the AM process after my breakup.

So two years ago, I adopted my two nieces (ages 7 and 4 now) they are daughters of my late brother and SIL. Since then I've been living with my parents and raising my nieces together as a family.

I was in a long-term relationship, after that ended I took some time to focus on myself and started looking for an arranged marriage match earlier this year.

So far, I've faced several rejections which I understand as my situation may not be easy for everyone to accept.

I'm always upfront that my nieces are my daughters now and I am their parent and legal guardian. They will always be my responsibility. After my parents are no longer with us, I will have full custody of them and that's non negotiable for me.

That said, I'm open to living separately from my parents if my future partner prefers that. We can stay nearby so my parents and nieces remain close, while I continue to fulfill my responsibilities toward my nieces.

Another thing is that I don't plan to have biological children. I already have two daughters to raise and I don't believe I can raise three kids in this economy. Rather than being unfair to a future biological child, I've decided not to have one.

This has been another major reason for rejection, as most of the women I've met understandably want children of their own.

Apart from this, I have always been focused on my career and doing great in my professional life, my parents are independent too so I don't have any other responsibility.

I'd genuinely appreciate any suggestions or perspectives. Do you think someone in my situation still has a realistic chance of finding a compatible partner?

Over a decade abroad in Asia and I am planning to relocate to India by end of this year. City is TBD, prefer Mumbai/Pune/Bangalore. I am ready for whatever that next chapter looks like, ideally with someone who has had a similar journey abroad and back.

Some things that are true about me: I will always choose a dog over most humans. Coffee shops are my happy place, and I’m the friend who already knows the best cafes and new cafes that just opened. I love music, I love dancing, and I am always half-planning the next trip somewhere.

I would like to have kids someday, biological or adopted, and I need that to be a shared dream, not a compromise.

What I am actually looking for: someone genuine, humble, emotionally mature, and a little old-school. I have no patience for drama, selfishness, or small talk thats forced.

Looks aren’t high on my list, so don’t worry about impressing me there either. If this sounds like your kind of person, let’s talk.

What the title says. If you are like me, tired of the boomers and the Patriarchal relatives trying to control your life every step of the way and by forcing you into Marriage, when you are not ready, and you are also Child Free like me, so it doesn't really matter when you want to settle down .. I have a plan.

I am looking for a girl around early 30s, independent, chill, likes good food/music/movies/travel... love your job, want to just enjoy your life away from the nosy and demanding relatives... Here's what I propose.

We meet over a period of a few weeks/months to see how well we vibe as friends. We hangout, share occasional fake pictures of a blooming romance.. then go to the parents (I unfortunately only have a single surviving parent) ... Tell them we want to get married. Everyone is happy in the family that we found someone.

Then after the "marriage" we simply rent a 2/3 bhk flat somewhere really nice in Mohali/North East/Hyderabad/Kasaul/Pune.. as we want to start a fresh life.. which we can discuss.. and split the rent 50/50. ... And just live there as independent working flatmates. And do with our lives as we please.

Nobody needs to know this is a contract marriage, apart from the closest of trustworthy friends. We are happy, they are happy. And if we get along as good friends, even better. Demands of children we can easily make excuses for. "Not ready", "Focussing on career", "We are trying but not happening".. blah blah..

I know this is very unorthodox, but please Don't delete this post Mods. I am genuinely looking for a partner, just not the usual kind at the moment.

Edit: Just for Clarity, I feel Marriage is just a social construct which is not necessary for everyone and created to force Woman as domestic helpers.

Final Note: I'm straight but more than happy to be with a girl who is a closet lesbian or asexual, who is looking for lavender marriage.

Hi. 28M from Thane here. Life has just been a lot lonely of late. To be honest from the past few years I never had really any friends who would come home and surprise me on my birthday or just spend time with me.

I have dedicated the last one year in service of dogs and that has brought its own set of challenges. Threats, lack of family support, etc. Sometimes, the feeling of lack of companionship be it friendship or more than that does hurt a lot.

Just scrolling through my insta and i dont even have one person whom i can contact and say "Hey would you hangout with me it is my birthday on Tuesday, July 7."

I don't really care if it is M or F. I just need this birthday to not be spent alone like all other birthdays in past 5 6 years.

It would mean a lot to me that despite such rain if anyone from Thane/Mumbai would make an effort for meeting me and help make my birthday special.

Please DM me if you would like to hangout and start a new bond of friendship. Cheers.

Putting this out there in other communities too. Thanks guys.

So hello everyone, just like most people on this group. I have also been on the Matrimony sites for a while now, and I find hard to find someone who is compatible and who fits the criteria that I require in a life partner.
So here are certain details about me so you will get a clear picture, and I would also put in details about what I’m looking for in a partner, so I guess that would give a an idea.

About me

Age : 29
Height : 5ft
Looks : Fair and above Avg body type
Gender : Female
Hometown : Chennai (Native is Andhra Pradesh so Telugu)
Religion : Hindu
Community : Balija Naidu (If it matters, I honestly do not care too much about it)
Languages : Telugu, Tamil, Hindi and English
Educational Background: Btech, MBA
Current Location : Bengaluru
Working : Yes
Annual Income : 20 lpa
Hobbies: Playing sports, Dancing, Singing, Travelling.
Also a huge pet enthusiast! So animals make me happy.
Family Background : Upper Middle Class
Kids : Want Kids
Intention : Looking to get married in the next 1 year.

What you should know about me?
So Im your next door girl, I like simple things in life. I am very family oriented, I have a very modern outlook in life and at the same time follow traditions at home. I am very fun loving, sincere and care too much about the people I love.

What Am I looking for?
Physical Features : Someone 5’8 and above with a beard ( Just a personal preference)
Community : Doesnt Matter
Language : Preferably someone telugu but Im not too particular about it.
Location : Doesnt matter
Family : A liberal close knit family family who would treat me with lots of love and care as I would do the same. Preferably similar financial background.
Annual Income : 20lpa and above
Age : 28-33
Characteristics : Someone calm, mature, loving, who loves to travel, who values the concept of family and marriage, ambitious and with good eq and maybe a little bit of romance.

Please Note : Please share your shaadi/insta id with photos and details in dm. I dont want to begin a conversation without knowing if our criterias match and theres mutual attraction.

If youve made it this far! Thanks for stopping by! See you on the other side.

Helloo All!

Getting the technicals out of the way. I am 5’6, 25 years old, Lawyer based in Mumbai. I am from North India. I drink rarely but have never smoked. I don’t do drugs either. I am a non-vegetarian.

Now, let’s get to the main part. It has been raining endlessly in Mumbai and life has started to feel gloomy and lonely where I have nothing to do. And Mumbai has a lot of activities to do. So, I am looking for someone to just do that.

Watch films while cuddling and having ramen, going for walks in Worli sharing earphones, driving in Mumbai under those yellow lights, playing in doolally which drinking beers, pottery, mystery rooms, reading in a book cafe, clubbing, do a jigsaw puzzle together while hogging those fries and nachos, etc.

I am looking for someone who is emotionally available, curious, intellectual, ambitious, has intention to date, chivalrous, wants to put in effort, is around 5’10 or above, aged about 25-28.

So, if you are into something similar. Hit me up by saying something more than Hi.

Thank you for reading this far. Hope you are having a nice monsoon.

Hoping to connect and build some genuine friendships with female friends. Clean intentions only—just looking to be a supportive friend who is always there through the ups and downs. If you're looking for a loyal friend to talk to, let's chat! Let's hope for a good start.

This is supposed to be a serious sub looking for (generally) long term partnerships.

It doesn't take much, but if you're into texting someone here for days and the other party is putting in reasonable efforts to start conversations, it's just good manners to inform them of any mismatch before you move onto a better prospect.

Not saying each of the hundreds of DMs need to be responded to, but I'm assuming if it's humanly possible for someone to accept a certain number of DMs, it's also possible to close the mismatched ones with a cordial goodbye. Who knows, they can help you get hitched to your forever ever after. :)

Not everyone is dealing with high volume parallel conversations, and the participants expect this subreddit to be better than the dating ones.

Speaking as someone who has active conversations, ones that were ended gracefully from me or the other person (which felt so good), and also ghosted/blocked (which just solidifies the case against you as a scammer, unless the other party deserved it for being any kind of jerk)

Giving Reddit a chance because why not?

I'm 30, from Chennai, a lawyer by profession but currently taken a break from it and surviving the final year of my PhD. I'm more of an introvert, especially when meeting new people, but once I'm comfortable, I can talk for hours. I love coffee, a lot of movies and series particularly horror, following politics and conversations that wander from random everyday things to bigger questions about life.

I'm here hoping to meet someone who's looking for something real and long term, starting by being friends first for a year or so then taking it from there depending on how it goes. No checklist, just someone who's self regulated and emotionally mature, and willing to put in the effort to get to know another person. If you're around 30 to 35 and from Chennai, you can message me.

28, from NCR, Hopeless romantic, homebody, mostly quiet, in essence a funny nerd but you can't stop me from talking once I get really comfortable.

Loves literature (fiction/non fiction/prose/poetry/hindi/english), cinema(from trashy bollywood to critically acclaimed regional films). I am what you call who loves novelty, creativity and honest efforts when it comes to art.

I root for the underdogs, jump on to try the latest tech, romanticise simplicity and yet aim for everything in life. I am ambitious but I am against the hustle culture.

Professionally- an engineer;

personally I like to believe I'm a polymath (but an average one at best 🤣)

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What am I looking for?

Yeah, well, if you are still reading this and finding me to be someone interesting then yeah I would love someone who gets me. Who is curious about the world but also have a sense of contentment with what tools they have to perceive it.

Come let's have a chat.... and see if we can vibe along and only if luck allows maybe build something really magical and long term 🌻

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Few questions that were asked to me before and the answers were quite upsetting. So I'm answering them here before so that I don't disappoint anyone.

I am 5'7", non vegetarian, earn above 25LPA, occasionally drink beer (nothing else), non-smoker (would prefer a non -smoker) and an atheist.

About me

I have a habit of asking, "But why?" Not intentionally, I just can't help wanting to understand people, ideas, and life beyond the obvious. I'm the kind of person who remembers a random sentence you said two years ago, notices tiny shifts in your mood, and has an intuition with a slightly unsettling success rate. Ironically, explaining my own feelings is where the software occasionally crashes.

Growing up meant changing cities every few years, so "home" slowly stopped being a place and became a feeling. That's probably what I'm looking for, not a grand Bollywood romance, just someone who makes an ordinary Tuesday feel peaceful.

I'm ambitious, but not in a hustle culture way. I don't need to win a race against strangers on LinkedIn. I just want to keep growing whether that's in my career, finances, health, or courage.

Outside work, I'm usually planning my next trip, chasing good weather, reading about something completely unrelated to software, or accidentally turning a casual conversation into an existential one.

A few honest disclaimers:

- I trust slowly.

- I overthink more often than I'd like.

- I bottle things up sometimes.

- I'm much funnier once I'm comfortable.

- I can organise a trip, a project, or a crisis with alarming efficiency... but choosing what to eat is somehow a 45-minute committee meeting.

What I'm looking for

Someone emotionally available, dependable, curious, and kind. Someone who can have difficult conversations without treating them like a natural disaster, celebrates each other's ambitions instead of competing with them, and wants a marriage that feels like a partnership before anything else.

Financially, stability and responsibility matter far more to me than flashy income. I also value a marriage where the couple has enough autonomy to make decisions together, build their own routines, and create a home that reflects both of them. To me, having that space isn't about distancing ourselves from family, it's about giving the relationship room to grow while continuing to love, respect, and support both families.

Things that don't work for me: dishonesty, manipulation, emotional unavailability, rigid gender roles, and the belief that personal growth is optional.

Life has already supplied enough chaos. I'd like marriage to feel like peace.

The practical bits

- Age: 29 (almost 30)

- Height: 5'7" (170 cm)

- Weight: 55 kg

- Community: Hindu Brahmin

- Originally from: North India

- Profession: Software Developer (B.Tech)

- Vegetarian

Looking for

- 28–34

- Taller than me

- Emotionally mature

- Financially responsible

- Looking for a teammate, not just a wedding.

I'm looking to get married, so I'd love to connect with people who are here with the same intention. No pressure to rush, just aligned intentions from the start.

TLDR: Equal parts curiosity, spreadsheets, sarcasm, and existential thoughts. Just looking for someone who feels like home.

Looking for a Bengali guy at Bangalore, for something serious.

Why only Bengali? Because I've spoken to many guys from other communities, and after days/weeks of talking, it ends with "Mummy won't agree" or "I'm not sure about marrying outside my community."

I don't have the mental bandwidth for that anymore, so I'm being clear from the start.

I'm not in a hurry to get married. Honestly, marriage scares me😅. But I do want to find my person. I believe the best relationships start with friendship.

I'm very independent, but with the right person, I want to be able to switch my brain off, go to a buffering mode, be my childish self, and let you take the lead sometimes. I'm a shorty so you can use my head for your arm rest(well that's what my friends do, and I'm not even tired anymore🫩). I love my personal space, but I also want someone with whom sharing life feels natural.

Despite being Bengali, I'm actually more fluent in English and Hindi, so most people don't even realize I'm Bengali at first. 😄

I have a single mom, and she's super chill. Down the line, I'd love for my partner to become a son to her, not just a son-in-law. But that's for later.

Also, if you're here only for hookups, casual fun, or sex, please don't DM. Let's not waste each other's time.

If you're looking for a genuine connection and this resonates with you, send me a DM. Maybe we can annoy each other forever. :)