For context, my sister and I are very close in age and until recently, we have never gotten along at all, we are just two completely different people who are forced to share a room.
Anyways, the past 2 years we have gotten along great! She had a rough time with her friends and I brought her into my friend group so she wasn't alone (it was really shitty what her friends did to her) but I realised now that I actually pushed a lot of the shitty things she did because i just longed for a normal sibling relationship with her. I have genuinely exhausted myself trying to be her friend but i'm always met with this harsh demeanour from her, like anything i do she will always see me as her sister and not her genuine good friend.
I guess i'm writing here to get an outside perspective as my mum always takes her side which really confuses me, especially with the situation this week.
(Also yes I know i sound a little insane but this has been years of built up double standards)
Monday night, my sister and I just finished a shift together and she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her tomorrow, I, of course, said yes id love to. The next morning, i was sending my friend voice messages, i normally hate texting and i just find it easier to send a voice memo. My sister starts screaming at me to shut up and that she was trying to sleep (it was 11.30am), so i said no and it just went from there. I was frustrated because am i just meant to sit in silence until she decides it's okay for me to talk? Anyways, later i ask her what time she wants to go shopping and she says she doesnt want me to go with her anymore, which fine did hurt my feelings but whatever, then about an hour later, i had dozed off and she starts shouting "im leaving in 20 minutes are you coming???" and i went "no? you told me u didnt want me to come so i didnt get myself ready" (i take a while to get ready and shes completely aware of this) to which she answers "lol i know, i just wanted to wake you up". Thats the first instance where i was just honestly fed up.
The next day, i was at my boyfriends house and I get a text from her asking when im home, she has a weird situationship going on, and frankly, after the way she was with me yesterday i didnt want him coming into our room, while yes this sounds petty, this is just a result from so much frustration on my end, her "bf" (we will say for now for easiness) is allowed over, shes allowed to facetime whenever she wants until all hours in the morning (even when im up at 4am for work) and i never said anything because i was just so scared of her hating me, but with my boyfriend of 2 years, im not allowed to ft him past 12 because she has to sleep, if she doesnt want him in the room, he isnt allowed on the room and im just sick of the double standard. Im sick of pushing my boundaries for a friendship that only goes 1 way.
With said context, and why im writing today, is because my mum always seems to punish me but not her for her behaviour. She has a thing with anyone touching her stuff. I may as well try learn to fly than ask to borrow a pair of shoes. Today she stole my work joggers, and when i told her to give me them back, because 1. she didnt ask for them, and 2. she would go off her nut if i did that to her, so why is it okay if she does it? Why does my stuff get to be free reign for her? I was so angry at her, then when my mum came in, it turned out her joggers were soaking wet from the washing machine (she didnt tell me this) and my mum screamed at me to give her MY joggers. Even after explaining to my mum that i have went to work with the soles of my shoe literally coming off because she wouldn't let me borrow hers, i was still the one that got into trouble.
I am open to ALL opinions as i genuinely dont see what I have done wrong to be considered "just as bad as her" according to my mum, or what im doing wrong... so AITAH?