Like, can I angle it after mounting? I need a camera that I can angle because of where I'm putting it. I tried to look this up and watch videos of the camera but didn't get a clear answer. If it does, how much does it tilt? Thanks!
Hello, I am very nervous to make this post, but I feel like I'm running out of time.
Last year, I started to see a new psychiatrist to help me with paranoid obsessions I had been having on and off for a few years. Basically, around 2023, I started to obsess over the idea that my partner at the time was secretly a sexual predator. There was an initial trigger for this but it wasn't anything serious or damaging. But once the ball got rolling I couldn't stop it. I would try to research him-- googling his name with various keywords, looking through all his social media accounts, digging up accounts he had ten plus years ago and looking through those. I would spend hours doing this, lose sleep to it, etc. I could be triggered by anything at any time to pull out my phone and continue doing it. Even if I wasn't researching I was thinking about this constantly. I became scared of him despite the fact he had never done anything to hurt me and I had no evidence of the things I was afraid of. I started avoiding him entirely. I was transparent through the whole experience so he knew what was happening and tried to help me to the best of his ability. Eventually I ended the relationship when we drifted far enough apart and I knew the damage that had been done was permanent. This time in my life was honestly Hell.
Eventually I got into a new relationship and everything was perfect for awhile. But at some point my anxiety was triggered again and it all restarted. This was when I started seeing my now psychiatrist. I had already been diagnosed as having MDD and GAD previously, but my SSRIs were clearly not curbing this particular issue. After describing the problem, my psych came to the conclusion that I was schizoaffective. This was not something that had ever been suggested to me previously. I have 0 history of things like hallucinations but I guess he classified what I was going through as paranoia and delusion. I started vraylar and within a few weeks I felt a lot better. Eventually he switched me to paliperidone but it still helped so no issues there.
I still feel really strange about the diagnosis. The paranoia has gotten better but my depression has been getting worse. I'm bedridden except for when I go to work. I don't feel happiness anymore. I don't want to engage in any hobbies or be with friends. I don't feel like I still love my partner, but I can't and don't want to end the relationship, for many reasons. I'm not sure why I'm on my SSRIs if this is the way life feels anyway.
I will be talking to my psych soon but I'm worried he could be misdiagnosing me and we won't see results.
I get insurance again in the next month and then I'll be able to go to therapy as well.
But I'm worried I don't have that much time. I've been thinking about ending things. Life hasn't felt good in a long time. My partner is the only person I have in my corner and I'm hurting him endlessly. He, my doctor, and my ex are the only people who know everything I've outlined in this post. I can't really talk about it much for obvious reasons. That's mostly why I've written this post.
Thanks for making it to the end with me.