AITAH for exposing a married man to his wife after he refunded the money he gave me?
AITAH for exposing a married man to his wife after he refunded the money he gave me?
For reference, I’m a guy. I was 18 at the time, and I’m 21 now. I had just started college a few months earlier and was completely on my own for the first time. The college I went to didn’t have a cafeteria or meal plan, so if you wanted to eat, you had to figure it out yourself.
I had a job at first, but I lost it because they refused to work around my class schedule. I was broke, stressed, and honestly desperate. So I did what a surprising amount of desperate gay teenagers do when they need money: I downloaded Grindr and started looking for sugar daddies.
Most of them were just weird conversations and empty promises, but I found a few who would actually help me out financially. One guy literally paid me like $400 a month just to talk to him and watch movies together.
But this story isn’t about him.
One guy I met up with picked me up in a minivan. We made out, talked for a while, and afterward he sent me money on PayPal. During all of this, he casually tells me he has a wife and kids and that he had “experimented in high school.”
I remember telling him straight up that I was uncomfortable with the fact he was married with children and still meeting up with me behind their backs. But at the same time, I was 18, broke, and trying to survive college, so I still went through with it.
What I DIDN’T know at the time was that the minivan we were in was literally his family minivan.
Fast forward maybe six months later. Out of nowhere, I get contacted by collections because the money he sent me on PayPal had been refunded back to him after I had already spent it. My PayPal account went negative, and as someone already struggling financially, I was furious.
So I messaged him on Instagram. I went OFF on him. He left me on delivered for a while, then read the messages and ignored me completely.
At that point I decided if he wanted to mess with my life, I could mess with his.
So I messaged his wife.
I told her everything: that he had been on Grindr meeting men, that he paid me while I was struggling in college, and that he later refunded the money and screwed me over financially. At first she was angry and wanted screenshots and messages. Then suddenly she changed her mind and didn’t want to see anything else.
Since then, they’ve gotten divorced.
Every once in a while I still check both of their Instagrams, and honestly… I still feel conflicted about the whole thing. Part of me feels like an asshole because I blew up a family. But another part of me thinks HE blew up his family the second he decided to secretly meet up with teenage boys on Grindr while married with kids.
I was also just a dumb 18-year-old trying to survive.
So… AITAH?
And yes, I’ll answer questions if people have them.