u/Hot_Cabinet_8044

I used to live in a large city and was genuinely happy there for a few years. Then I got into a 7-year relationship, and my partner always wanted to stay in the city. I suggested several places we could potentially move, but I was always met with a “no.”
When the relationship ended, I stayed in the city and lived alone. I had friends and objectively had a great life, but I was also really sad and started questioning whether I actually wanted to live in a big city so far away from my family. I constantly felt like something was missing or like there was a hole in my life, even though there were plenty of good things about my life.
I spent a lot of time thinking about where I wanted to go next. I considered so many different cities and options that I eventually became completely overwhelmed. Two weeks ago, I decided it would be easier to just move home for a while.
And honestly, it has been easier.
I’m living with my family, spending a lot more time with them, saving money, and realizing how much I like not living alone. I’ve also noticed how different I feel when there are other people around to spontaneously come up with ideas, make plans, and do things with.
Obviously, this can only be temporary. Eventually, I need to figure out where I want to live and what I want my life to look like long-term. The problem is that when I think about my future, nothing really comes to mind that excites me.
I have no idea what I want.
I have a high-paying job, but I’m pretty burnt out and would love to leave. I have shares tied to the company, though, so realistically I don’t think I can walk away quite yet.
Outside of work, I meditate, journal, do yoga, take walks, go to therapy, spend time with family and friends, etc. I’m doing a lot of the things people recommend when they’re trying to “find themselves,” but I still feel like I’m just existing rather than working toward something I’m passionate about.
Is this normal at 31? Has anyone else gone through a period where they genuinely had no idea what they wanted their life to look like?
What actually helped you get clarity about what you wanted?

I used to live in a large city and was genuinely happy there for a few years. Then I got into a 7-year relationship, and my partner always wanted to stay in the city. I suggested several places we could potentially move, but I was always met with a “no.”
When the relationship ended, I stayed in the city and lived alone. I had friends and objectively had a great life, but I was also really sad and started questioning whether I actually wanted to live in a big city so far away from my family. I constantly felt like something was missing or like there was a hole in my life, even though there were plenty of good things about my life.
I spent a lot of time thinking about where I wanted to go next. I considered so many different cities and options that I eventually became completely overwhelmed. Two weeks ago, I decided it would be easier to just move home for a while.
And honestly, it has been easier.
I’m living with my family, spending a lot more time with them, saving money, and realizing how much I like not living alone. I’ve also noticed how different I feel when there are other people around to spontaneously come up with ideas, make plans, and do things with.
Obviously, this can only be temporary. Eventually, I need to figure out where I want to live and what I want my life to look like long-term. The problem is that when I think about my future, nothing really comes to mind that excites me.
I have no idea what I want.
I have a high-paying job, but I’m pretty burnt out and would love to leave. I have shares tied to the company, though, so realistically I don’t think I can walk away quite yet.
Outside of work, I meditate, journal, do yoga, take walks, go to therapy, spend time with family and friends, etc. I’m doing a lot of the things people recommend when they’re trying to “find themselves,” but I still feel like I’m just existing rather than working toward something I’m passionate about.
Is this normal at 31? Has anyone else gone through a period where they genuinely had no idea what they wanted their life to look like?
What actually helped you get clarity about what you wanted?