2 weeks ago I went to a person on the highway who had been hit by a car, head was completely in half, brain was not in his head. I’m struggling a lot with what saw, I feel angry with what happened, I feel upset but I find it difficult to explain how I feel following this due to the EMS culture of being “fine”. Any advice if anyone else has experience similar would be appreciated.
I am probably in the most horrific spiral of my entire life, not sleeping and feeling pure panic for most of the day, I feel sick. Everything feels heavy, and the smallest trigger being an instagram story has really blown everything up for me again, although I think this has been building for a couple of weeks.
I can’t differentiate between this being OCD or actually the truth of the matter, which is going to result in me going to prison and loosing my job.
I’ve been going into work, unable to feel or do anything as I truly feel this will all be taken away from me soon and my work friends will realise who I am and what I’ve done.
I’m really not sure where to turn, I do ERP last year but unfortunately the wait list is very long and I cannot afford private at the moment.