u/Hot_Quit_7730

I started to write this as a comment, but seeing an influx of confused, stressed and disappointed brides here, I thought I can share my two cents about the wedding industry from a perspective of a planner. I am writing anonymously, because my goal is not self promotion, it’s sharing the observations I have and starting a conversation that is long overdue.

I am copying my og comment here, in hopes to give clarity to everyone struggling with vendors atm.

“Hey as a planner seeing the industry in big trouble I can maybe give you my perspective. I actually agree that there’s something rotten, in all areas not just with planners. I have been in the industry long enough to witness first hand the shift that happened.

Sometime after COVID we got an influx of new vendors (mostly in the photo category, but it can also be seen in other categories), at the same time there was a lot of mentorship programs going on basically telling inexperienced vendors they can charge insane amounts of money for their services, even though the knowledge is not there.

Vendors were told they need to live the luxe style, dress the part and act like they’re millionaires. The truth is, maybe 1% of wedding vendors worldwide are truly that successful, and those people have years and years of experience.
Scaring tactics to the clients was used as a selling point, so was hiding of the price of the service.
In this era I have rarely seen someone mentor vendors how to actually get better at their job. It was mostly sales and life coaching.

Around 2022 all you could hear was “charge the number that makes you feel uncomfortable”. You can see the shift happening here, everyone slapped Luxury to their business names as if that is enough to be considered high end.

Some also started to do a ton of styled shoots that they were selling as real weddings to prove their “Luxury“ status.

Most paid for publications and awards so it seems to you that they’re worth the price tag. The clients believed them, not knowing that while all of that has been done, the real experience was just not there.

A couple of years ago the standards from clients were lower, brides were not connected as they are today and a lot of bad business practices got unnoticed.
Cancel culture was also not in full swing then.

Around 2024 things were turning, bad vendors get called out and canceled, couples want to know where their money is going and how it’s being managed. That is fair and should be standard.

Now in 2026 I am noticing everything
becoming extreme, the vendors behaviors getting out of hand (i think it’s burn out and just lack of knowledge) but also the clients thinking all of their vendors are basically the enemy and trying to rob them (understandably).

I am seeing a lot straight up harassment from both sides (vendors and clients) and i am seeing burnout from both sides as well.

There’s a lack of trust and humanity in the process, lack of good business practices and overall a great lack of understanding.

I see both clients and vendors asking for mental health help and therapy because they’re feeling anxiety and depression.
Nothing wrong with asking for help ofc, but it’s telling how toxic the industry actually is.

I feel like we’re approaching a point where the industry is going to burst and we will all need to adapt or find new careers.

Don’t get me wrong there’s a ton of fairly priced, experienced vendors in the industry, but it’s hard for the clients to figure out who’s the og and who’s a fraud since there’s so many of us.

Things are so out of hand that when an amazing photographer with experience is quoting 6-7k for their services, the clients see it as a red flag because all the other quotes they got were 20k+.
Not knowing that the 7k one has more experience and is easier to work with.
Obviously this is not a case every time, but it actually is a thing that happens a lot.

I can tell you from my own experience, I was trying to be Luxe as well (without actually adding the title because I found it cringe). I thought I was doing something wrong because I did not want to pay for life coaching, publications etc.

I tried to justify bad behavior from colleagues and sometimes even clients, as a normal thing that is going to eventually make me worth the luxe title.
I know no one is here to hear my sob story, but at one point after a high budget wedding I had a legit panic attack mid season. It did not feel right.
It was then and there where I decided I want to work with vendors and clients on events with a soul. Mix the smaller, mid and bigger budgets, and leave the weddings not with a panic attack, but with a smile on my face.
I realized there a paid Vogue publication, status and how Luxe my social media looks, is not telling anything about me.
The fact I care and have 10 years of experience is telling something.

I hope all of you reading this, a vendor or a bride will do the same. Hire or book the people that actually make you happy and excited, even if it takes longer to find those. You are all spending too much energy and time to feel the way some of you feel. Weddings are happy occasions, the industry was once beautiful and there’s still beauty underneath all the negativity.

Sorry for the rambling but i think these are the conversations we all should be having at this point.

PS. I feel like that character in Mean girls that doesn’t even go to the school but is there to promote love lol”

I started to write this as a comment, but seeing an influx of confused, stressed and disappointed brides here, I thought I can share my two cents about the wedding industry from a perspective of a planner. I am writing anonymously, because I think this conversation is long overdue.

I am copying my og comment here, in hopes to give clarity to everyone struggling with vendors atm.

“Hey as a planner seeing the industry in big trouble I can maybe give you my perspective. I actually agree that there’s something rotten, in all areas not just with planners. I have been in the industry long enough to witness first hand the shift that happened.

Sometime after COVID we got an influx of new vendors (mostly in the photo category, but it can also be seen in other categories), at the same time there was a lot of mentorship programs going on basically telling inexperienced vendors they can charge insane amounts of money for their services, even though the knowledge is not there.

Vendors were told they need to live the luxe style, dress the part and act like they’re millionaires. The truth is, maybe 1% of wedding vendors worldwide are truly that successful, and those people have years and years of experience.
Scaring tactics to the clients was used as a selling point, so was hiding of the price of the service.
In this era I have rarely seen someone mentor vendors how to actually get better at their job. It was mostly sales and life coaching.

Around 2022 all you could hear was “charge the number that makes you feel uncomfortable”. You can see the shift happening here, everyone slapped Luxury to their business names as if that is enough to be considered high end.

Some also started to do a ton of styled shoots that they were selling as real weddings to prove their “Luxury“ status.

Most paid for publications and awards so it seems to you that they’re worth the price tag. The clients believed them, not knowing that while all of that has been done, the real experience was just not there.

A couple of years ago the standards from clients were lower, brides were not connected as they are today and a lot of bad business practices got unnoticed.
Cancel culture was also not in full swing then.

Around 2024 things were turning, bad vendors get called out and canceled, couples want to know where their money is going and how it’s being managed. That is fair and should be standard.

Now in 2026 I am noticing everything
becoming extreme, the vendors behaviors getting out of hand (i think it’s burn out and just lack of knowledge) but also the clients thinking all of their vendors are basically the enemy and trying to rob them (understandably).

I am seeing a lot straight up harassment from both sides (vendors and clients) and i am seeing burnout from both sides as well.

There’s a lack of trust and humanity in the process, lack of good business practices and overall a great lack of understanding.

I see both clients and vendors asking for mental health help and therapy because they’re feeling anxiety and depression.
Nothing wrong with asking for help ofc, but it’s telling how toxic the industry actually is.

I feel like we’re approaching a point where the industry is going to burst and we will all need to adapt or find new careers.

Don’t get me wrong there’s a ton of fairly priced, experienced vendors in the industry, but it’s hard for the clients to figure out who’s the og and who’s a fraud since there’s so many of us.

Things are so out of hand that when an amazing photographer with experience is quoting 6-7k for their services, the clients see it as a red flag because all the other quotes they got were 20k+.
Not knowing that the 7k one has more experience and is easier to work with.
Obviously this is not a case every time, but it actually is a thing that happens a lot.

I can tell you from my own experience, I was trying to be Luxe as well (without actually adding the title because I found it cringe). I thought I was doing something wrong because I did not want to pay for life coaching, publications etc.

I tried to justify bad behavior from colleagues and sometimes even clients, as a normal thing that is going to eventually make me worth the luxe title.
I know no one is here to hear my sob story, but at one point after a high budget wedding I had a legit panic attack mid season. It did not feel right.
It was then and there where I decided I want to work with vendors and clients on events with a soul. Mix the smaller, mid and bigger budgets, and leave the weddings not with a panic attack, but with a smile on my face.
I realized there a paid Vogue publication, status and how Luxe my social media looks, is not telling anything about me.
The fact I care and have 10 years of experience is telling something.

I hope all of you reading this, a vendor or a bride will do the same. Hire or book the people that actually make you happy and excited, even if it takes longer to find those. You are all spending too much energy and time to feel the way some of you feel. Weddings are happy occasions, the industry was once beautiful and there’s still beauty underneath all the negativity.

Sorry for the rambling but i think these are the conversations we all should be having at this point.

PS. I feel like that character in Mean girls that doesn’t even go to the school but is there to promote love lol”