u/Hot_Smoke21

(JMF shown) i’m reading that the wrinkling of the caps and weird stems are from dehydration or maybe co2 buildup which is not too surprising since this is my first grow and everything started pinning while i had a few weekend trips planned (i harvested a tub of golden teachers relatively successfully a week ago that looked much better than this)

are the golden ones at the bottom of the first picture healthier? should i cut all the big ones that have torn veils but don’t seem to be mature? would those still be okay to eat (i recognize they might not have peak psylocibin, but are they at least safe and likely to have some?)

i’m kind of imagining at least trimming down everything that looks unhealthy unless something like this is able to be brought back?

5 months on T today (!) and I (25) was at a family party last weekend and my cousin told my grandma that i was going by a new name and basically forced me to out myself.

this was about an hour after my grandma had just told me that i “better never start that testosterone shit because it makes people ugly and gross”. this also came up because she has been jokingly calling me by a masculine version of my now deadname to tease me for being masculine presenting and my cousin was basically like… “well they actually are going by a new name” and then just looked at me

after i said it was true, my grandma went off about how i’ll never be a bio man and i started arguing with her basically saying that sure i won’t grow a Y chromosome but on T i will be biologically a man in many ways that i think matter more than a chromosome and its her opinion on how she wants to define it. she said it’s not an opinion and just kept saying she was losing her only granddaughter and asking why i can’t just be a “normal gay” (i told her i tried that already lol) and telling me that i better not get a penis and how that’s disgusting. my cousin even tried interrupting and saying to her “well you at least love them still right?” and my grandma would not say it

all of this in front of several other shocked people in my extended family who i also wasn’t out to.

it just sucks because everyone else in my family has been really great and supportive even if they are a little ignorant about it. i don’t even really like my grandma to begin with and we have never been really close but it’s just been really under my skin since it happened a few days ago and all day today i have been really dysphoric and anxious and am feeling stressed about moving forward and my relationships with my family as i keep transitioning. its not enough to make me want to stop but it’s the first time in a while that i felt those feelings of unsureness and fear in my transition. i even cried a couple of times so im glad the T hasn’t completely stunted my emotions lol.

but hey, at least the band aid is mostly ripped off now, right?

what happened to these and what should i do?

got outed to my grandma at a family party in front of multiple people