r/FTMMen

I don't identify with the trans or queer communities. The trans community feels very dominated by fems and thems, very focused on femininity and androgyny and trying to include us guys in that. I want people to be able to embrace their femininity if it makes them happy, but I don't wanna be dragged into it because that's not who I am. I'm also not into being trans. To me it's purely circumstantial. It's taken years, I've finally gotten to the point where I no longer HATE being trans, but good lord it wasn't easy. Took five years of HRT and losing 50 pounds to finally feel attractive.

I don't like the word queer. Period. To me, it implies that anything other than strict, traditional, monogamous heterosexuality between cis people is deviant somehow. I just view healthy sex or dating between any adults as normal. To me, queerness is this social construct that exists only as a biproduct of homophobia and heteronormativity. I find the culture that's formed around it to be alienating. The way most people in the queer community talk feels almost scripted- granted, a lot of people retreat online because they're so alienated from their families and neighborhoods so I get that much, but the result is just... yikes.

And the association between non-straightness and kink makes me feel even more alienated. Do what makes you happy in the bedroom, don't bring it up to someone you're not screwing. I've had friends in the past who bring their kinks or the concept of kinkiness up at the drop of a hat, and I find it really inconsiderate. Not to mention, the few experiences I've had with people that were way into kink were incredibly bland. Sex felt almost mechanical. Communication, boundaries, all that stuff is so important, but I feel like intuition and emotional connection is lost when people become too analytical and treat sex like this step by step process, and that ruins sex for me. I feel like sex should feel like a conversation that just flows naturally but then again most of the kinksters I've met can't even hold a conversation that feels natural.

What I've found works best with sex and dating is to get off the apps, stop watching porn, enjoy jerking off and making friends until one or more of those friends winds up being something else- a friend with benefits, a partner, whatever. For the longest time I felt completely lonely because I didn't think anyone outside the queer/trans niche would think I was anything but gross, but truthfully, I just needed to be seen and appreciated for my personality. I think anyone who really connects with the person I am will be able to take me as I am physically- which is really the only difference between me and a cis dude.

Okay. I'll shut up and stop avoiding my college assignments.

completely non issue vent.

In my dream i was at a bar with a guy and we had so much chemistry. then he talked about something along the lines of "lets get out of here" as in lets take it to the bedroom and i froze up. And i said i can't sorry. and i saw the look of confusion in his eyes as he said "why not? i thought we had a thing" and i said yeah we do but i cant, homosexuality is a sin, i have religious trauma im sorry. And i left to go in my car in the parking lot(the location switched to a Walmart parking lot)

i dont have religious trauma, i dont believe homosexuality is a sin. I said that so i wouldnt have to disclose im trans. I cried in my car in the dream. and i woke up and i had tears on my face. because i ruined it and because i left the guy with no good explaination. i cant give him the truth i dont want him to view me differently and i cant risk that happening even if its like a 1% chance. I basically rejected someone so they wont reject me because i wouldnt be able to handle it if he did. the reason i did i believe is because im stealth irl, the fear of "what if he tells everyone"

god fucking damn it i cant even be in a happy relationship my dreams. what is weird is that i had a cis male body in my dreams yet i mentally knew i was trans i dont know how that fucking works. i know im not ready for relationships I know, got a lot to work through but c'mon man it was a dream. why cant i be happy in my dreams.

To start off, I wanna lose weight, right now I weight 120.4kg ( 265lb), I can't really access any gyms, I am a type 2 diabetic, I also have PMOS. I just need some advice on how to lose weight.

Might sound odd to some but I sort of like being a bigger guy - not as fat as I am currently, I'd like to get down to around 215 lbs, but I like being burlier and having physical presence as opposed to how frail I looked before developing a binge eating disorder(which I have since largely beat and am 40+ lbs down from). Much prefer being a bearcub to being a twink.

The main things that bother me about my current weight (approx. 235 lbs) are my double chin and the sheer size of my hips and ass. If I held fat like a cis man (and could grow a beard), I would still want to drop a bit more weight for the good of my health (and vanity's sake), but wouldn't be as dysphoric about and outright disgusted with my appearance.

I've heard extremely mixed reviews on fat redistribution on T. Does existing fat in feminine areas really gradually burn on its own while anything new sits in the belly, or am I just stuck with massive fat stores there unless I slim all the way down? Does T make losing fat in those areas easier since there's now more testosterone than estrogen in the body? Or does any of it genuinely move?

Alrighty guys. In a month or so I’m doing a strip show with my rugby team (it’s a gay men’s team and this is the event of the year) and luckily we are only required to strip down to jockstraps. I’m stealth, so really need this to be convincing, whilst also making sure that my packer does NOT fall out, as we are doing a dance routine as well. What’s the best way to go about this?

what shorts do yall wear? as a trans man, ive had an extremely hard time finding shorts that i feel good in. the only success ive had is 5 inch mesh basketball shorts, but obviously i can’t wear those all the time or to nicer events. ive seen other people suggest cargo shorts, but they’re almost always long and baggy asf and i prefer my shorts on the shorter side. other fabrics like khaki shorts or chinos always seem to cling to my thighs and accentuate my curves. i like shorter shorts that flare out a little bit but they seem so hard to find.

“I’m under XYZ height so I’ll always get clocked” or “how often do y’all get clocked if you’re under this height” or “I’m so dysphoric because I’m not a fucking Goliath sized MAN™️”

Like…yall realize people literally come in all shapes and sizes, right?? Some men have big hips and big asses. Some men are short. Some men have bigger chests. Some men are shaped like captain fucking America and some men are shaped like jack black and Doc the dwarf had a baby. And you know what? They’re all fucking valid. We really need to stop fucking perpetuating this idea that to be a Man™️ you need to be a 6ft tall Adonis with washboard abs and a chiseled jaw line. Like…seriously. Knock it the fuck off.

Right now I’m two weeks in T but three days ago I started experiencing itching, on my side burns and my jawline and at first I was like it’s okay it’s just hair. But then my inner arms, and hands and feet have gotten itchy not crazy but enough for me to itch it and develop hives. Nothing out of control they’re pretty small and localized, but I’m concerned that I won’t be able to do my shot tommorow. Thoughts?

So I just started testosterone yesterday, and was prescribed 0.3ml weekly out of a 100mg/ml bottle.

I was initially told this was a medium, to low dose to start off with… but after doing some research, I’ve noticed that this is considered a micro dose.

Anyone else experience something similar?
Is my dose too low, i definitely don’t want to microdose:(

I personally prefer to only use a strap on women during sex. I can go down on them but I don't want them even involving my genitals in the act. One time I had sex and used my actual growth to penetrate and it felt good, and the girl begged me to penetrate her using my actual bottom growth, but I got dysphoric midway and opted for using a strap only. Is that weird of me? I don't care if my partner wants to please me back cause me pleasing them gets me off just fine

i am starting t soon, but i am also at the age to be thinking about early cancer deductions. my gynae told me to start counselling for hpv vaccines last year because they are less effective after you turn 28, so she told me i have years but i should get them soon.

I was also thinking about breast cancers because i have been feeling some tissues, not in the breast but in the chest, by that i mean right on the surface of my ribs. it could be just be muscles because i have been going to gym (havent been in a month) but i am still a lil worried idk why. dont have immediate blood related history of cancers except non hodgkins lymphoma that my grandad died of, but its not genetic so not really worried about it.

what i am asking is, how are you navigating all this while transitioning. or early on the transition?

i want to talk to my gynae about the mammogram and maybe a pap smear too T_T, also i have been having bv spots almost everymonth before my cycle since my first occurrence last year. i have taken the precautions but its still happening, i apply the cream she prescribed after showering and it goes away. but when it start its too uncomfortable and itchy and smelly. i wamt to start gym again but sweating is annoying me down there. so i want to tak to her about this too T_T maybe get some blood and urine tests again.

i havent been horny at all for a few months and been dry as fuck which i dont really care about but lack of libido concerns me 😔. stress has been hard so i got some 🍃 gummies prescription, hope they help.

but how to navigate personal healthcare men, i am worried.

Before calling me Ai slop, let me explain what i was thinking about and how i found this idea. My mom always loved taking thousands of photo of me and my little brother when we were little kids. Unfortunately, she also loved to dress me up with pink tutus and anything feminine. Which leads me to currently get exposed to disgusting childhood photos of mine or no photo at all sometimes. I probably only have 2-3 photos of me actually looking like the little Boy I actually was.

I kinda noticed that people actually have free will to change childhood photos.Which also increadibly good for people who are stealth too. If we just photoshop or use AI to change the photos. Like, removing a pink tutu or shortening the hair. Stuffs like that honestly.

While it might look like a fake reality, I feel like it can be comforting to have childhood photos of your own. And also maybe can help with dysphoria since losing a big chunk of your life is also very dysphoric and saddening. I haven't tried it, I studied graphic design during highschool,so I may just tried to photoshop it first. And see if it is possible to do it.

I also wonder what you guys are thinking about this possibility. Again, it is just a possibility I noticed. If you think it is unnecessary it is also understandable.

I think this sub is the safest bet to ask; if there’s anyone else here who has OCD, do you find it tying into dysphoria at all? Especially with intrusive thoughts. Mine can be pretty bio-essentialist in that way (I’m not).

I feel like it can make it harder to distinguish them as intrusive when sometimes there’s this strange affirmation/humiliation about terrible things I don’t want to do or be. The “I’d never actually do or like that” phrase really doesn’t clear up a lot of doubt about myself when right next to the ‘feel good’ dysphoria is giving. Talking to my friend, his doesn’t really interlink that way.

Kinda hesitant to give examples in a space thats not about OCD, but hoping some know what I mean to talk on it. If it ain’t the right sub I’ll move

Mainly for pre-transition people

1. Train your neck

No seriously, you have no idea how much a person's neck width impacts whether they look male or female, if you have a thin neck sorry but you're not gonna pass, you'll be clocky at best. Strenghtening neck muscles increases its width, there are many exercises you can look up, like doing pull ups with your neck when it's hanging backwards from your bed or other place.

2. Tape + binder makes you the flattest

If you have a small chest then 1 of those is usually enough, but if you're C cup+, tape + binder makes you the flattest. If you wear just tape chance is that there will still be 2 visible bumps on your chest, just flatter than they normally are. To be the flattest, the breasts have to be put to the sides, the chest sticks out more if they're in the front and that's the position they get in in just a binder.

3. Wear shoulder pads

Shoulders are another important aspect of passing. There are specific pads for shoulders you can buy, but you can also use pads that are often in sports bras. They obviously make your shoulders broader and bigger.

4. Masculanizing make up

It really impacts the way you look, trust me. The most important part are eyebrows, believe me that if you make your brows darker and thicker, you will look more masculine. Don't do it the way women paint their brows, they should still look messy and like you didn't put on make up, so just smear some dark powder or shadow on them (idk how it's called). This won't work if you have light hair though, you might look silly.

Another thing is the shadow in the area between the eye and eyebrow. Men have more prominent brow ridges which cast more shadows in that area. Subtle differences like that is what defines sex dimorphism.

5. Tape for thighs

Okay so, females accumulate fat in their thighs which makes the area under hips and butt where legs start the widest part of their shillouetes. Men obviously don't have that. I personally use the same tape I do for binding to pull that fat back, reducing those female hips and making my legs and entire shillouete look straighter, less curvy, more masculine.

6. Height enhancers

Additional height is always great, but you can use the highest possible enhancers if you wear higher boots. Boots that cover the ankle are best for that. There are also enhancers that you can wear directly on your feet. Platforms aren't great for passing as it's something that's worn mainly by women.

I had taken a before pic and now 6 ish months on T, I was literally like 🫪 when I compared to now. Cuz I don't love looking at them so I hadn't noticed or even expected them to get smaller. The papers I was given by my doctor at the clinic where I got my diagnosis explicitly said that testosterone does not affect breast size. At first I just noticed they're not firm anymore but can be fully flattened if I wanted to (it's painful but it works unlike before)

Before, the difference between bust and underbust was 12 cm, now it's 9cm. If I stand with my arms down, they used to cover quite a lot of my arm, now just a little bit because they don't flare out to the side so much lol. If I flex my back they don't break the silhouette at all. Now if I compress them just a little bit, they look like pecs, but shirtless I'd probably be fined if I was in a public space without, so it's not perfect but damn is this better than nothing.

Haven't lost weight at all.

2 years on T, 80mg weekly.

How does one know if they will benefit from an increase in dose? I would say I’ve experienced all of the masculinizing effects but if I increase the dose, will I be able to gain more?

I know I should speak to my doctor about this and I am about to book an appointment. Just curious and don’t really want to travel an hour if the answer is no. Also, Cis males inject at way higher doses so I’m confused as to why we cannot.

I’m mostly looking for voice and facial/body masculinization. I still have a bit of a baby face although I am able to grow a beard. I understand I may have to be patient but it has made me start thinking about steroids/HGH.

Asking here because y'all will understand the placement better than I'm willing to explain on tattoo subs. I've got my appointment in a week and a half. I've been head over heels for the way this artist does twisting, gnarled thorns and I really want them on my chest forever, but I've been made aware recently of the Christian symbolism of thorns. Is putting thorns across my scars too Jesus-y? Will people assume I'm Christian? I have a lot of tattoos fwiw and a thoroughly unchristian vibe, if that changes anything.

okay so I know an increased appetite comes with being on testosterone, but has anyone else experienced post injection munchies? I went out with my girlfriend for dinner, I had a 6oz steak and a few sides, came home full as can be. I do my injection 20 minutes later, and got hit with a wave of munchies.

I’m not sure if this is just a me thing, but curious to hear your thoughts.

I just wanted to share that as a 5’5 straight man w no d (yet) I’ve felt pretty genetically nuked, but as of a little over a month ago I have had the most amazing (and also so genuinely beautiful) girlfriend. If I could do it, so can you, wishing yall the best.

For context I watched that show called Big Mouth for a few season when I was a teen still, and while it's honestly mediocre at best and disgusting at worst, there is one episode, specifically one character and a line spoken TO that character that I still remember and gives me great reassurance.

In the episode the B plot involves a man trying to loose several pounds over the course of like two days using workout supplements to fit into a suit for his wedding, specifically his pants. He ends up giving himself a heart attack thanks to the meds and needing to go to the hospital where his fiancée finds out what he has been trying to do and they talk about why he was trying to do this. And they both have a very short exchange about how his body gains and distributes the fat in his body, his fiancée saying how she loves that he has a small waist and large thighs; the same proportions I have.

Idk, I just am really not fond of how I cut a very feminine figure and it's usually one of my most dysphoria causing thoughts, but just thinking about that exchange, and reminding myself that men can also gain weight and hold fat anywhere, looking just like me, is a great thought. And maybe it helps someone else too!