r/FTMMen

In the same way that black men are men and short men are men and blind men are men and diabetic men are men. Trans is an adjective but it doesn’t change the core identity of being a man to me. Being a trans man is another way to be a man.

I am the same gender. I am a man. I cannot relate to anything less than people who say “but being grouped in with cis men is yucky I feel more at home with the girls.” No offense but if you feel more at home with the girls then why are you dominating conversations in spaces for trans MEN?

I didn’t have a “magical girlhood.” I was never part of any “girl code.” I was never a girl. I will never understand people who mourn losing access to women’s spaces. I never felt like I belonged there and you and I did not have the same experience.

I have more in common with cis men than I do with trans men who feel the need to insist that they experience womanhood.

If being associated with men upsets you so fucking much then you don’t have to be one. Identify as something else. Stop taking T if you don’t like it. But don’t speak over those of us who are MEN, loudly and vocally MEN, who experience life as MEN who transitioned from one gender to another.

I understand that balding is not necessarily a fun thing, for neither trans men nor cis men. However, the absolute doom and gloom that is spread about it especially within the trans community is horrible. I wish we could bring some of the r/bald positivity in our spaces, where it is at least neutrally accepted to be a common change that testosterone can bring.

I can't help but feel it is often connected to some trans men having been brought up with extreme pressures to be attractive women, thus causing balding to be a very intimidating and harrowing aspect. When it is brought up in spaces, it is never in a neutral or positive light and often people are urged to start medications (min/fin) or even alter or quit T! Of course, this is people their right, but I would love to start seeing some posts where balding or bald trans men get their love too.

This is my ode to the balding men!

Edit: Since some people latched on to the first sentence of my second paragraph, I dont necessarily think its the key point. But I've definitely heard people mention it in previous discussions and think it can be one of the many reasons it can differently impact trans men versus cis men experiencing MPB

im genuinely really scared right now, i messaged my nurse about getting a refill after about 6-ish months on testosterone and she responded with saying it should be lasting me 39-40 weeks, and she's saying the doctor might not refill my medication?? I don't know if she's bullshitting me but i haven't been trying to take extra or anything, there's no solid lines for .25ml so i likely take .27-ish but i would have to be losing an entire .1ml extra every injection.

I use a Luer-Lok 3ml syringe and i switch to a longer 1 1/2" needle, i have a 10ml bottle, i think the brand is Xiromed if that matters, i think some brands add a bit extra to account for any lossage. I've been trying to do some digging and i've found maybe 1 or 2 mentions of my brand of needles I use wasting that extra amount but i can't find any source on that yet, here's one of the people who's mentioned that:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TransDIY/comments/1qlkggr/comment/o1f5y9z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://web.archive.org/web/20260307075103/https://hrtcafe.net/Calc/

okay i found this calculator that says 29 doses should be expected from this but I would like some sources that look a bit more reputable if I'm to show this to my doctor, i have like 2 weeks or so left for testosterone for now at least. TwT

Edit 1: doctor replied back saying it's too early and that she wants me to set up an appointment with the nurse, im so done man

I was on a trip with some friends recently and over the course of the 2 days a few of them who had never mentioned I was trans before and one who had only recently just found out started making really weird comments about. The first was playing drunk Jenga and the questions was one where only guys were supposed to answer and one of the guys I'll call him Fred made a comment like "well let you answer with us" it wasn't that exactly but it was like he was implying he's allowing me to answer with the guys. Later the same guy Fred got a block that was to ask someone else a truth question. He gestured over to 2 of the girls and they exchanged like a look of that they had a certain question in mind and he was like oh yeah I was going to ask that last time but I thought it was inappropriate. I had literally no idea what he was gonna say but he asked me basically do I have a dick or vagina in a very crude way of putting it. (I won't write his exact phrasing BC for some reason I'm worried they'll find this). I was quite drunk and didn't know how to react so I just chugged my entire drink and moved to my go where I pulled a block to give a never have I ever question and immediately said "never have I ever just asked someone an inappropriate question" and looked at Fred.

I left to "get another drink" but really had to just leave and figure out wtf has just happened. I thought these people were chill but they made me feel like a fucking circus monkey. I've never experienced this much BC I just never really talk about being trans unless it's to me close friends who know how to make jokes about it that are actually funny.

The next day we were going swimming which since not having top surgery is not a fun experience with people I'm not comfortable around so it just made it feel on edge when I was around them BC I had to wear a wetsuit and the dysphoria was crazy. Later we were playing another drinking game and there was a card pulled for "girls drink". One of the guys wasn't paying attention and drank and a girl turned to him and was like "are you a girl". That could've been the end of it but she doubled down on her unfunny joke and said "as Fred would say do you have a blank or blank" using again his crazy gross way of putting it. Literally no one laughed and me and my 2 close friends exchanged the dirtiest looks of all time. Everytime it was "guys drink" Fred would just look at me weird when I drank and I just wanted to curl into a ball and die the whole time. He brought it up again in the pub making a comment about how id look like my dad if I grew a mustache obviously making fun of the fact I can't (he doesn't know I'm on T ) . And the time he brought it up it was just to ask me how long I've been trans ? For some reason and he seemed shocked by the answer. That question usually wouldn't make me uncomfortable but with everything else it did.

Summary:

I don't know what to do BC I don't think they're like actually transphobic but they are making weird jokes at my expense and it made me feel awful but I'm in college with them and will see them and be going out with them alot this year. I don't wanna bring it up because it's so awkward to and I'm hoping it just doesn't really happen again. Fred was the guy who only just found out I'm trans a few weeks ago so hopefully he was getting his weird comments out of the way and he'll be normal again. I just hate the fact they obviously discussed this as a group before even asking me the question which is so weird. The trip was kinda of 2 small friend groups combined so I was able to talk to my closer friend and they all agreed it was weird asf but Idk if they know how uncomfortable it made me just BC their cos so they wouldn't fully understand. Any advice on what to do 🙏

I see posts all the time from very young trans guys starting T who talk about how doing their T shot makes them instantly ravenous for sex.

I have never experienced this but I have a suspicion that it is placebo. There is no way T acts that fast and I don’t think it’s an aphrodisiac.

You do your shot > you feel comforted and masculine > you feel confident > you are able to be horny

Can anyone else back up either side of this? I am curious if cis men also get horny from a T shot.

So I’m new to having my testosterone levels actually looked at and paid attention to. What are the averages for a trans man and what is the difference between free testosterone and total testosterone levels? And what relation does that have to my body? My total T level this past month is 521 ng/DL. In my chart it says that this is high but my doctor hasn’t called me yet to discuss. And honestly I’m freaking out because I’ve had the same dose for 10 years and now I’m feeling like what if my results could’ve been better this whole time if somebody had been monitoring my T better and explaining the value of it this whole time

So I'm a teenager, and ive only came out to my parents about being trans a few months ago, and only recently gotten them on board with me getting a binder. But until I actually choose one, and buy it, I'm going to try taping my chest.

I see all these videos about other people easily being able to push and manipulate their breast tissue, but i cant do that, like my breasts are quite hard and cant really go to the sides that much or easily. I dont know if it has to do with the fact that I'm a 34D, or something else. really just wants some tips on what I'm meant to do, and how it all will work

my girlfriend of five years broke up with me because she said she saw me more as a friend, almost immediately started dating someone else she had known for about a week, and then told me a few weeks later on my birthday that she was dating someone new. i am still her friend, that’s not going to change, but she’s acting like we never even dated.

i cant help but feel like i was a safety net and she was never actually attracted to me, due to me not having ‘male’ attributes. i asked what he was like and all she said is that he’s 6’6 (i am 5’5). what do i do with that.

i feel like shit but i feel selfish because she deserves to be able to move on.

sorry if this isnt really allowed in this sub idk but it’s making me feel dysphoric and im not having a good time

i hope she doesnt find this post because her friendship is still important to me i just need to vent i think.

Am trans man from UG but currently in sa so I need some advice about the decision of hanging my self over the situation am in. Do I actually matter in this life 😭😭😭cat is open to talk to me

I’ll start off by saying that I am a complete nerd. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been deep into biology. Evolution has always been my forte, but I consider myself reasonably educated on biology as a whole due to just how much time I’ve spent studying it throughout my life. As a man who happens to have been born without a penis, the concept of “biological sex” has also been of particular interest to me.

I recognize that the majority of people are not autistic nerds and do not necessarily fact check and research every minuscule claim that they make, and I’m not saying this to paint those people in a bad light. I just believe that the claim I’m about to discuss is very easily challenged by biological and medical reality and I hope that, someday, it will stop being spread as much as it is currently.

Time and time again, I come across the notion that sex is immutable. This comes from trans people just as much as it does cis people. Most often, I see it presented as a rebuttal towards transphobic claims. Yet, the rebuttal in itself is not only biologically incorrect but also perpetuates transphobic misinformation.

“You can’t change your sex.”
“Trans people know that. We’re changing our genders, not our sexes.”

Personally, I believe the complete opposite. I believe that sex is entirely mutable, but gender isn’t.

From my experience with myself and others in the community, many of us have tried for years to change our genders. As a child, I tried so unbelievably hard to just be a girl. I tried to trick my brain into believing that liking mermaids meant that I was a girl. I tried conflating my interests with my gender and, as I got older, I tried even harder to drown out my gender by becoming hyperfeminine.

I know that this is an experience that’s shared by almost every trans person, to some degree, as it’s a relatively inherent reflex to the things that we encounter when growing up with a sex/gender incongruence.

Based on this, as well as a plethora of other factors that I won’t go into right now, I do not believe that gender is something that somebody can change. I believe that gender can be fluid, I acknowledge that it is a social construct, and my claim applies to the specific situation in which a person tries to forcibly change their own gender based on what they personally want.

I am aware that there are always outliers, as is the nature of life. I’m sure that somebody out there has the type of relationship with gender where they can wake up in the morning and choose it like they choose an outfit. I’m confident that someone has made a conscious decision to change their gender, by one definition or another.

However, based on my knowledge and experience both with myself and other trans people, we change our sexes because we (generally) cannot change our genders. The shared experience that we have is that we cannot force ourselves to be cis, just as cis people cannot force themselves to be trans. In this way, in my opinion, gender is an immutable characteristic despite it being a construct.

I’d like to think that, to an extent, everything I’ve proposed up until this point has been relatively common knowledge among trans people. However, there is a very distinct shift when it comes to the fact that sex is not immutable. Sex can be, and is, changed. As previously mentioned, the reason that people transition is because, when it comes to a sex/gender incongruence, sex is the half of that equation that can actually be changed.

I won’t go into the side of this that pertains to species naturally transitioning sexes (clownfish, for a best-known example) because I don’t think it’s entirely applicable to a conversation that involves gender. What I will go into is the fact that, on average, people are severely misinformed about what sex is.

“Biological sex” is a combination of characteristics, not an indivisible, single, one.

We have our sex chromosomes, yes, but we also have our primary sex characteristics. Our primary sex characteristics are our internal genitalia, our external genitalia, and our gonads. We have our hormones, as well as our secondary sex characteristics. Secondary sex characteristics are often defined as those which develop during puberty, but I’ve also seen “developed sex characteristics that are not a direct part of the reproductive systems”. They are functionally the same.

Every single one of these listed sex characteristics can be changed and/or entirely removed, aside from our chromosomes.

Every. Single. One.

This is typically where you’ll run into the argument that, because of this fact, chromosomes are what determines biological sex. However, cis women can, and do, have XY chromosomes. I find that the easiest-to-explain source of this is CAIS, complete androgen insensitivity syndrome, so it’s the one that I tend to site first. However, as we all know, there are a plethora of different sex chromosome variants that present with, often “contradictory”, primary and secondary sex characteristics.

Obviously there’s much, much, more that I could add to this. This barely skims the surface of the issue and I’m coming to the realization that this might need to be my next hobby essay topic, but this post is already long.

Again, I want to make it clear that I’m aware that this is not a unique claim and that those misinformed, or under-informed, about it aren’t inherently spreading the idea maliciously. It isn’t a topic that people tend to care enough about to think very deeply on. Especially considering the fact that it is very much the general consensus, people accept it and move on without challenging it. I only made this post as a quick way to get my irritation out, because it’s something I’m still seeing at such high levels and I’m hoping that if more people talk about it, it’ll (very slowly) start to be challenged and corrected.

ETA: Not sure why there’s a couple of people taking this as meaning that your birth sex is obsolete and that lying to your medical providers is okay. It definitely is not. It just means that your sex is functionally changed and that your birth sex does not matter in conversations that don’t specifically pertain to it. Which is the vast majority of them. Different people have different levels of “completion” in their medical transitions and I’m entirely confident in the ability of an individual to decide when they need to disclose their medical information. I’m not aware of any trans person who entirely denies their transition to all medical professionals. I’m sure that they exist, but do not be them. This goes for every other medical history as well.

So I have obscenely small feet right, and we’re talking men’s size 4/4.5 kind of small here. I usually wear bigger shoes to kind of cover it up because I also feel like they are disproportionately small to the rest of me (In the scheme of things, 5’6” is not THAT bad height-wise) but I just feel honestly super weird admitting that this gives me so much dysphoria, and it’s not like I can find clothes that fit anyway (for men or kids)

I don’t totally get what makes me so dysphoric about this and I feel as though that just makes it worse too. I really hope being on T will make my feet and hands bigger even if I don’t get taller.

Hey there, I'm looking for advice because this has never happened to me before

I've been on testosterone for a few years and a couple years of that has been sustanon injections. I've never really had needle anxiety or a fear of them or anything, and while I've struggled doing my injection sometimes it's never been too drastic

At the moment it's just become impossible. I'm wondering if it's going in the wrong place, because all im getting is pain. I've tried both legs, and I'm just getting more frustrated and upset each time I do it over the last couple days. I think I've wasted almost 10 needles trying to get this damn thing in

Has anyone else gone through this before? A part of me is just giving up and not wanting to try anymore but that's obviously not much of an option... I just want to take my testosterone peacefully, haha!

Thank you!

I am not out to anyone irl (as in they think im cis) apart from family and one friend from childhood. I really dont want to be seen as “trans” and thats why i just dont let people know. Ive been having this feeling of like “i need come out” but i know if i do theres no going back. I dont feel ashamed or like im hiding but i feel like im being convinced life will be better if i come out by ppl online and stuff but idk is this just me trying to create a problem. Not sure if this makes any sense.

I really want to talk to trans people who are in the same position as me like fully passing but also nobody knowing like ever

“I want people to think I’m a man but I don’t want T to make me bald or give me bottom growth so I’m not gonna take it” you probably aren’t gonna pass without T.

“I want to grow facial hair but I can’t take T and I won’t take minoxidil because I have a cat, even in oral form” then you’re not gonna have facial hair.

“I want to be a femboy and wear skirts and makeup but I want to be gendered correctly and also I don’t want to take T” that’s very unlikely.

“I don’t want to give up my personal feminine style/alternative style/piercings in order to pass but I do want to be perceived as male” being perceived as male isn’t important enough for you to dress differently?

“I want cis gay men to like me but I don’t want to be masculine in any way” most cis gay men are into masc guys.

“Men’s clothes are boring and have no color so I have to wear women’s clothes but I’m sad I keep getting misgendered” that isn’t even true, wear Hawaiian shirts.

I’m not saying trans men who are feminine or who don’t take T or minoxidil or whatever aren’t trans men but I would’ve cut off my left fucking leg if it meant people would see me as a man. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done or given up pre transition just to exist as a man. It’s fucking insane to me that guys won’t even give up cutesie girly fashion or wear “boring” clothes or take oral minoxidil and wash their hands afterwards.

They want you to come up with the perfect advice for them where they don’t have to change a single thing about themselves and also they get everything they want. It’s such a childish mindset.

Also transitioning is never gonna make you an anime boy, it’s gonna make you look like your dad or uncle.

I'm looking for a bag and some shoes as my last sneakers fell apart n they were pretty girly plus my current backpack is actually my mum's and I nabbed it from her.

I just don't know what things the average man would wear.

I sort of want to get a messenger bag, but do guys actually use messenger bags??

This is difficult for me because I'm autistic so I honestly don't know what people typically wear and what would be seen as odd.

for shoes I picked out some black and white puma sneakers, and for a backpack, do I just pick something plain and black?

I mostly wear black comfortable clothes like sweatpants and shirts as pretty much everything I own is black (with accents of red or white sometimes)

If I picked a black messenger bag that's advertised as mens, am I gonna look stupid without knowing it?

also please give any other advice for accessories like jewellery n whatnot

I pass consistently and it's never really bothered me. But now that I entered a new job and wear suit pants every day I'm super anxious. They don't hide it as well as jeans do.

Two women at my workplace have already very obviously checked out my crotch and idk if that's out of interest or if they notice the lack of male genitals. I've never experienced that before.

I'm wondering, is it actually noticeable that nothings there or does it just look like my dick may be super small? I'd prefer the latter tbh.

I've been thinking about wearing a packer but it's weird to me. I tried with a stuffed sock, made it small so it won't be too obvious. But all I can think is 'this isn't real' and all I feel is something in my pants that doesn't belong to me. On top of that I'm scared that it looks wrong or shifts into a weird position or even falls out.

Does anyone have any advise on how to approach things, or how you yourself got over these feelings? I'd appreciate that so much.

Anyone know why the sub has been restricted + what a timeline might be like for it being put back up ? Was hoping to post face but seemingly not

Hello. Aftre and in psychward admision i got admitted to thsi doctor who thwy said have specialty in lgbt and that he will cure me. He cant likke prescribe or diagnmose gender dysphoria, theress barely a couple doctors willing to do that in counttry. After every appintment i feel worse amd worse, more pain. I know i probablly have not earned helpyet....I just dont kmow after what time.to change doctors,or to wait it out at a single one? I had around 10apointments woth him i knoow that isnt much,but it does make worse actovely. I know it get worse before better,but so far in life the better never came and i worry,and i am not really smart i am sorry,unsure what to do.

hey, I have a cat so I don't want to run the risk of using the liquid/foam minoxidil, is there a place online to get it in pill form or does it have to be a prescription?

So 2 months ago I ordered an STP freely, harness, and rod from transguy supply. Sadly DHL lost my package, so it never arrived. I got my money back, but therefore I am still looking for a good STP packer... This will be my first real penis packer, so I'm looking for a cheap, but good quality one. Around 50/60 euro's max.

Anyone got some good reccomendations?

Thanks much!