u/DarkRoseXD

So I'm a teenager, and ive only came out to my parents about being trans a few months ago, and only recently gotten them on board with me getting a binder. But until I actually choose one, and buy it, I'm going to try taping my chest.

I see all these videos about other people easily being able to push and manipulate their breast tissue, but i cant do that, like my breasts are quite hard and cant really go to the sides that much or easily. I dont know if it has to do with the fact that I'm a 34D, or something else. really just wants some tips on what I'm meant to do, and how it all will work

So, I'm only just starting to tape, and ive seen so many videos of other guys doing it, and their breasts just really easily collapse, but mine dont. Like theyre genuinely really hard and solid, I'm really not sure how to do it. I'm also a 10D (aus sizing) and I'm just really confused and scared

So, a little backstory.

I grew up with this girl, let's call her Sam. We met in prep when we were about five years old and have been friends ever since. We went to different high schools from Years 7–10, but this year we're both in Year 11 at the same school.

While Sam was at her old school, she built a really close friend group. She introduced me to them once we all moved there, and now we're all friends!! I'm mainly around Sam, her boyfriend Jeremy, and Leo (the guy this post is about)

-# It's also probably worth mentioning that both Leo and I are trans. Because of my family, though, I cant like actually dress masculinely, or cut my hair.

Anyways!! we all had a sleepover at Sams house.

I've always been pretty touch averse. Physical affection has always made me uncomfortable, and ive always avoided it. Over the past 6 months though, Sam has slowly helped me get more comfortable with things like hugs and casual affection because she's a really physically affectionate person.

Because of that, Leo and I had barely ever touched before. Maybe awkward hand holding when everyone else was doing it, but nothing beyond that because well, there was never a reason. But the thing about Leo, is that hes ALSO really affectionate!!

At the sleepover, we were all lying together watching something. Sam was on one side of Leo, I was on the other, and Jeremy was practically lying across all of us. At some point, everyone shifted around, and Leo wrapped his arms around me. I wouldnt say i didnt expect it, but i did, after both Sam and Jeremy moved off, Leo wrapped both of his arms around me, quite happily.

But instead of feeling uncomfortable, or scared, i kinda just relaxed?? We stayed cuddled for literally ages, like HOURS. AND we ended up falling asleep like that. During the night, whenever one of us woke up or Leo got up for a bit, we'd end up cuddling again afterwards. It wasn't just a one time thing either, he literally kept choosing to do it.

The next day we were all playing Roblox. Leo was playing on the TV while I was sitting next to him. Out of nowhere, he opened his arms and looked at me. I didn't realise what he meant and went, "Hm? What?"

He pouted, closed his arms dramatically, and said, "Fine then."

I laughed, realised what he meant, went, "Mmm nooo," and cuddled into him anyway. We just  stayed like that, even when he got a migraine, he just put his head down ontop of me, and continued cuddling me

After I got home, we didnt talk at all, UNTIL THE NEXT TIME. And we ended up messaging for around four hours straight. He sent voice messages, opened up about some really personal things, and told me about a recent situationship that had been manipulative and pressured him into a lot of sexual stuff. Except like, theyre still kinda doing it all, and Leo kinda knows its wrong, but is genuinely inlove with him

I listened, tried to support him, and afterwards sent him a long message thanking him for trusting me and telling him how much I'd loved spending time with him.

But it was more him just informing me yk, not really looking for comfort, like hes already told his main friends those things, and I was just now learning about it all, besides from what Sam has told me of course. But he ended up telling me things not even Sam knows!!!!

During that conversation, we also talked about the cuddling. We both said how amazing it had felt, and Leo genuinely told me he wanted to cuddle with me again?????

No HERES the problem.

When I first met him back in December, I thought he was attractive. Nothing serious, just thought he was cute. But after getting to know him over the past few months, and especially after that sleepover and our conversation afterwards, I think I'm developing like ACTUAL feelings.

It's not just because we cuddled. I love talking to him. I love listening to his voice. I love how comfortable I feel around him. He's one of the few people I've ever felt genuinely safe being physically close to, which is huge considering how touch averse I've always been. (some previous family things, and the fact I'm austistic with sensory issues)

The thing that's stopping me from saying anything is that he's still clearly in love with his situationship friend thing, even though it was unhealthy. I don't want to be a rebound, and I don't want to put pressure on him while he's trying to process everything.

And plus, since the day we first talked, we've been talking for hours EVERYDAY. He even admitted that he never talks to anyone this long, nor that he has. And thats the same for me!! I even call him sweetheart now, and he loves it. He was being all like whiny and cute when I was teasing him about actually calling him that, saying how I really do need an actual answer rather then me just reading his mind. And the same whole thing happened with me giving him praise, like saying if he did a good job, if I'm proud of him, shit like that.

So seriously, what the fuck do I do?

Do I just keep being his friend and let things happen naturally? Or am I reading too much into the cuddling and everything else?