u/45VeryCoolFireAnts27

Hello. Aftre and in psychward admision i got admitted to thsi doctor who thwy said have specialty in lgbt and that he will cure me. He cant likke prescribe or diagnmose gender dysphoria, theress barely a couple doctors willing to do that in counttry. After every appintment i feel worse amd worse, more pain. I know i probablly have not earned helpyet....I just dont kmow after what time.to change doctors,or to wait it out at a single one? I had around 10apointments woth him i knoow that isnt much,but it does make worse actovely. I know it get worse before better,but so far in life the better never came and i worry,and i am not really smart i am sorry,unsure what to do.

Hello... Just want to let it oit i am sorry...makes me feel so bad. I cant stand this femmale voice,i try totalk,and just burst in to tears. I hear some straengers voice back. It rings in ears like a screamm and feels painful. Voicetrain hasnnt done much,i dotn really have a place to do it really too..

Hello. I havv been trying to beoutside more,my new job i start at soon is pivking up trash,and need to be outside for that. I foumd it helps whem i bring any plush friend.I know havihng them is bad enough,too childish. They help me shift foucus from body. Due to recentt injury in hand i was recomneded to try colouring. I found while not beimg really good yet, it also helps distract a litttle. This often makes me justt sit at the park on bench with plushes and,colouring often feeding birdies. I donnt want to continu if this is bad behavior to do in public as man like not get used to it. I dontt really pass now,but look androgynus enough that people call me bad lgbt realated things and i donnt want to carry behaviur if it bad for anyone and when i can possibly transition in couple decade i donr have bad behavior. I do have long hair becuse of alopecia aerata and missing lot of hair so long hair coverss it up i hope that is okay too i am really sorry

Hello. Recenly wondered, wished there was some scecret thing lgbt couls identify eachother.B ut apparemtly others in lgbt are hostile too??I domt get that.I am so confused becouse obviusly the not lgbt people talk about wanting us hanged and beaten,or atleast thatts some i have overheard. Is there a sevret phrase, code,ritual then.for friendly lgbt ?I have never met another personn from comunity. Is there a code that i havent fogured that is obvious? I tried watching how to make friend videos in past, but sincce we need to hide of course it is mich harder.What am i missing i am just realy confused ,if paying the friends to be friends isntt the solution either then what is

Wish therre were some sort of code.Liek a sequence of.numbers that could be made into just some keychain if they want to or a special sentence that cuold safely signal that someone is lgbt or atleast safe if Not evem to make friends becaus i am bad at that. Just to knnow someoine is out there and that am not alone.

I domt know what too do.Sjure my family doesnt like me but am activly making future worse for any other trans or even just lgbt prson. Due to me family think all lgbt poeple are jsut crybaby and sensitive,weak. That not what i am suposed to do. i Should be stepping stone for any other lgbt personn in future so they have some rights. I dont know any other lgbt person i haev to do good for future so mayb someone can transition downn the line.I just make peoples view worse they think even more that its just a joke and that were pathetic i am just so sorry i dont want to do more damage, just what can i do?? I try to be not so diasgusting and dumb but somehow i end up as that i have to do good i am just so sorry please what do i do so they dont get worse views i try not to cry

Hello.In general i have nightmeres about every night. Usually some sort assault or dyimg.It has been a while so i am atlest used to these a bit and i do and wake up from sleep crying anyways. I donnt know if due to it being a recent topic forme but i dreamt somone was calling my name. Jolting awake and noone being there made it such bad dream i thought there ffinaly was someone..It is new whoch means theres space for new dream/nightmare.. What do i expect for future? If comfortaeble can you guys share what other kimd of nightmares you guys had pre everthing?

Hello. It is something that always gave me very unsafe feeling,the fact people just lie.Dont know i never learned how or how to detect it.on own i already haev trouble with reading emotions, unless someone tells me exactly how they feel.But due to lyiing existing even that is uncertain. I dont feel safe in a world wherr people can lie whenever and am pretty gulible...What to do about this..?

Hello. It was years ago in high school when i cuold pay,i wouldnt really call them my friends as they turned on me but then thought friends,when i could pay them i did a couple times so they would say my name and not this random female one.tHe price differed often i only managed to get it couple times but itfelt really good to hear my name,How much does it cost? For example my family said they would only do it for well above 100euros so i can see it differ from person to person. What is the cheapest?Or is this sonething you can earn?I can see people maention being actualy refered to by their namr by others but they dont seem to mention how they got that and i cant seem to find an.answer does anyone know?I know i am pre evrything so shouldnt expect much regarding people saying my name,it just been so many years and i really want someone to call me my name but really sorry if it doesnt aply to pre everythin g.

Hello. Is earnimg help different for everyone or by doctors how does it work? I know am really bad so forme it might take longer to earn hwlp so sorry if it obvious question. i see my doctor everyfew days i know it hasnt been long sience i have been seeing this doctor it really hurts alot after each apointment i have i donr know how long i can do it i really try i am sorry can i know when i will earn it. He says i am doing good it wont feel bad down the line but he doesnt say when

Hello everyoine. First really sorry foir comunity because thsi is shameful and bad for communnity im really sorry i can only hope it is alright. I have had thiis issue before but it has gotten real bad recently. For a while now i have beenm only managing the batjroom once a day and sometimes didnt make it or had lot of trouble and hurt. Have found when i cant make it puppy pads on the bed are decent but recently i havent able to make it at all, can rarely get up and that only really to go to doctor. I dont know what to do i really want to but cant bare any feeling or sight of body. I am really sorry i know it is shame to community being disgusting i am sorry