▲ 29 r/FTMMen

Friends asking inappropriate questions

I was on a trip with some friends recently and over the course of the 2 days a few of them who had never mentioned I was trans before and one who had only recently just found out started making really weird comments about. The first was playing drunk Jenga and the questions was one where only guys were supposed to answer and one of the guys I'll call him Fred made a comment like "well let you answer with us" it wasn't that exactly but it was like he was implying he's allowing me to answer with the guys. Later the same guy Fred got a block that was to ask someone else a truth question. He gestured over to 2 of the girls and they exchanged like a look of that they had a certain question in mind and he was like oh yeah I was going to ask that last time but I thought it was inappropriate. I had literally no idea what he was gonna say but he asked me basically do I have a dick or vagina in a very crude way of putting it. (I won't write his exact phrasing BC for some reason I'm worried they'll find this). I was quite drunk and didn't know how to react so I just chugged my entire drink and moved to my go where I pulled a block to give a never have I ever question and immediately said "never have I ever just asked someone an inappropriate question" and looked at Fred.

I left to "get another drink" but really had to just leave and figure out wtf has just happened. I thought these people were chill but they made me feel like a fucking circus monkey. I've never experienced this much BC I just never really talk about being trans unless it's to me close friends who know how to make jokes about it that are actually funny.

The next day we were going swimming which since not having top surgery is not a fun experience with people I'm not comfortable around so it just made it feel on edge when I was around them BC I had to wear a wetsuit and the dysphoria was crazy. Later we were playing another drinking game and there was a card pulled for "girls drink". One of the guys wasn't paying attention and drank and a girl turned to him and was like "are you a girl". That could've been the end of it but she doubled down on her unfunny joke and said "as Fred would say do you have a blank or blank" using again his crazy gross way of putting it. Literally no one laughed and me and my 2 close friends exchanged the dirtiest looks of all time. Everytime it was "guys drink" Fred would just look at me weird when I drank and I just wanted to curl into a ball and die the whole time. He brought it up again in the pub making a comment about how id look like my dad if I grew a mustache obviously making fun of the fact I can't (he doesn't know I'm on T ) . And the time he brought it up it was just to ask me how long I've been trans ? For some reason and he seemed shocked by the answer. That question usually wouldn't make me uncomfortable but with everything else it did.

Summary:

I don't know what to do BC I don't think they're like actually transphobic but they are making weird jokes at my expense and it made me feel awful but I'm in college with them and will see them and be going out with them alot this year. I don't wanna bring it up because it's so awkward to and I'm hoping it just doesn't really happen again. Fred was the guy who only just found out I'm trans a few weeks ago so hopefully he was getting his weird comments out of the way and he'll be normal again. I just hate the fact they obviously discussed this as a group before even asking me the question which is so weird. The trip was kinda of 2 small friend groups combined so I was able to talk to my closer friend and they all agreed it was weird asf but Idk if they know how uncomfortable it made me just BC their cos so they wouldn't fully understand. Any advice on what to do 🙏

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Cheap Tape recommendations?

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u/Opposite_Company_815 — 13 days ago

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u/Opposite_Company_815 — 21 days ago

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u/Opposite_Company_815 — 23 days ago

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u/Opposite_Company_815 — 2 months ago

Dreams of being a girl again?

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u/Opposite_Company_815 — 3 months ago